Thursday, March 02, 2006

Get Crunked.

Last night I had a date with these four lovely ladies.


Meet Strawberry Passion, Pear Lemon, Cranberry Peach, and Blueberry Pomegranate. It's OK if you don't recognize them, they haven't debuted yet. I have a feeling they're going to be the new celebrities of the alcoholic beverage world very soon though. They're 100% fruit juice with 5% alcohol. I practically drooled on my keyboard when I got the notice for the Blueberry Pomegranate. But it was Strawberry Passion that was unanimously declared champion by Hoop and I. She's a sweet little minx that will leave you tipsy without feeling like you deserve to be.

P.S. I need a job in marketing.

Say what? There's a reason why the English language is so hard for foreigners to learn. Take "Crunk" for instance.

Dictionary: To cry like a crane.
Urban Dictionary: Mixture of crazy and drunk.

"Sizzle"
Dictionary: To make a hissing sound. To be hot.
Urban Dictionary: Sister. Suck. To smoke out.

"Fugle"
Dictionary: To lead.
Urban Dictionary: The act of fucking while snuggling.

P.S. I have way too much time on my hands.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I'm not ticklish.
Tink: Oh yeah? Me either.
Hoop: Then why do you squirm when I put my hand here?
Tink: *Laughs* Nooooo. Stop. Can't. Breathe.
Hoop: Uh huh. Not ticklish huh?
Tink: Go-go-gadget thigh!
...
Hoop: What?!

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Oh my God, there was a HUGE spider on the floor! I squished him.
Hoop: I was wondering what you were screaming about.
Tink: Ew, ew, ew.
Hoop: Wow, he was big. *Cleans up mess*
Tink: I am SO glad you aren't squeamish about these things.
Hoop: Why?
Tink: Because I used your shoe.

EDIT: The problems with the blog have been fixed. Evidently Blogger didn't like my form of graphic. Carry on. I'm just a dumb ass.

23 Comments:

At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I want to come to your taste-testing parties.

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Worst Blog Ever said...

WORST. BLOG. EVER.

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

Diagnosis: TPS (Tiny Print Syndrom)
Cure: Unknown.

Sorry, I have no idea what's up with your blog. Is it a case of the Incredible Shrinking Blog?

As for the idiot who posted before me, I'm sure he thinks he's funny, but if I were you I'd just delete him. Into the Trash Can. Love that feature!

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger V said...

Mmmmm....Can you send me a case? I'll be happy to be a taste tester!

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger EE said...

You're sending some to me right? Just looking at the picture, not to mention your description mad me want that. YUM!

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Man...those beverages look appealing, but "crunk" sounds like something you might find in your underwear while treating a yeast infection.

(Sorry, couldn't help myself LOL)

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

When I was in college a friend of mine and I would mix lots of different kinds of fruit juices or gatorades with differnt kinds of alcohol. Fruit punch and Bacardi 151 was my favorite. Or anything and tequilla. Of course, it never occured to us to bottle it and sell it.

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Arabella: As long as you bring the munchies!

Worst Blog Ever: Well, I'm sorry you think so.

Gradual Gardener: *Shrug* Everyones allowed to have their opinion. I don't happen to AGREE with this particular one, but that's life. We can't get rid of ALL the scum in the world. We'd have nothing to compare the good stuff to. :)

V + EE: Fresh out. But it should be on market by the end of this month. :)

Jess: I hope you know I'm never going to be able to use that word again without the visual you just gave me.

Jay: You should have jumped on that one. Hoop says the Pear Lemon tastes like the bootleg liquor he used to make as a kid with Lemon Extract and Key Lime Water. Lemon Extract has 95% alcohol in it supposedly. Bleh, all the same.

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Fugle?

How the hell do you fuck while snuggling? Have you ever tried it?

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

I'm thinking about all the rationalizing I can do about the health benefits of blueberry/pomegranate. All those antioxidants! My only problem is that as a guy I am forced by my testosterone-induced stupidity to declare that these look like girly drinks. Give me some homemade Irish Stout, please.
Did you go read that news story I linked to?

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mama T: Yeah, I don't see how that would work either. But I'll put it on my list of things to try, right next to sky diving.

Mamalujo1: Hoop said he'd drink it... at home. That article was crazy! Would someone who is running for judge and gets caught vandalizing be considered ironic? :)

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

You'd have to know that guy; he's dumber than a box of rocks.

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Hee hee - two excellent Hoop conversations!!

 
At 02 March, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Hey wow! Was that your first hate mail, Tink? Where do these asshats come from...

Additionally, how does one get to be a taste tester for booze? That's a job I could really get behind.

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Oh yum! They look fantastic!

I had a chocolate bar that was called 'Crunky' while I was in Japan.....

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I want some! Getting my vitamins whilst imbibing some liquor!

If I drink some then will be doing some fugling fo'sho'!

How's the no smoking thing coming along?

 
At 02 March, 2006, Blogger Iamadesigner said...

Sounds delicious...strawberry, and blueberry pomegranate? please send some this way! What sort of alcohol is in there?

 
At 03 March, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

Fugle. Been there. Tried that. It's not a very active sport but it can feel good if you can get it to work.

Yeah, nice to see we're thinking alike....dickweed! (that's a joke.)

 
At 03 March, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

I've been feeling crunky all morning, but in my lexicon that's "cranky" and "funky".

To further clarify, I mean "funky" as in "not quite 100%"—not "I feel like dancing around my cube to 'Ring My Bell'".

"Cranky" speaks well enough for itself, I think.

 
At 03 March, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

TB: Sure was! I wonder if I can frame it on the blog somehow :).

This isn't normal. We usually just get sample products in to try before they release them on the market. They haven't been nearly as good as this stuff though. Not to name specifics, but one freebee in the past was a beer and energy drink combo that tasted like cleaning solution. Bleh.

Peevish: Japan? I'm so jealous.

Iamadesigner: I have no idea. It's like a wine cooler. What kind of alcohol is in those?

Robyn: Shut up you assbastard.

Foo: You need to go on that Urban Dictionary and submit your definition. I like yours better. :)

 
At 03 March, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

So when will these ladys be offerring themselve for sale to the rest of us stiffs. Hmm. That didn't sound so good.

 
At 03 March, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

BTW, Most wine coolers are malt liquor.

 
At 08 March, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I would hire you for marketing, you blogging minx you.....

That stuff looks good, like, drink 5 think your fine and then starting dancing with your shirt and bra off, good.

 

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