Have You Found My Ass?
I seem to have dropped it somewhere while I was dragging it around today.
"Tagged!" by Odd Mix:
Five items in my freezer
1. A tube of corn
2. Twix ice cream
3. Some meat of unknown origin
4. An empty tray
5. A bag of ice from two years ago
Five items in the closet
1. A dirty vacuum cleaner
2. Santa Claus (or at least a model of him)
3. A military trunk
4. Three sets of X-Men posters
5. Two miniature Braves bats
Five items in the car
1. A pressure washer
2. Pennies (stuck to the bottom of the cup holder)
3. Tinkerbell floor mats
4. A hairbrush
5. Jumper cables
Five items in my backpack/purse
1. My camera rolled up in a Crown Royal bag
2. A dull nail file
3. Three different chapsticks
4. Movie stubs from April
5. Wet wipes
And because I'd rather you tag yourself, I'm making up the last question.
Five items in your junk drawer
1. Electrical tape
2. Corona parrot pins
3. Loose screws
5. manuals to appliances I no longer own
Hoop Quote Of The Day:
Do you think I should get bigger boobs?
Around The Water Cooler:
New Hire: I have a problem.
Tink: Sure thing! What can I help you with?
NH: I've been working on this orientation test for three hours and I still can't get it.
Tink: Did you take the class first?
NH: Yes, but the class doesn't teach you the things that are on the test.
Tink: That's impossible sir.
NH: Listen, can I just start working now?
Tink: I'm sorry. It's a requirement that you complete training first.
NH: If I'd know there was going to be a test I would have studied last night!
Tink: That's not necessary. All you have to do is take the class before the test. Have you tried taking notes or writing down the questions from the test and going back?
NH: Of course I have!
Tink: I don't know what else to tell you.
NH: The bottom line is, I don't have a fucking DEGREE in brewing beer!
NH: So unless you're going to send me to St. Louis for training, I'm not going to be able to complete this test.
Tink: Well I can assure you the company is NOT going to send you to St. Louis for unnecessary training. Especially when you are being provided with the information right here. What I can offer you is the chance to try the test again.
And then he passed the test. No apologies. Not even an ashamed look in my direction.
They don't pay me enough.
Things That Make You Go, "WTF?"
1. I once considered making the third bedroom into a ball pit.
2. Clowns can be sexy. Just not the frowny ones.
3. The owner of the pizza place was so cheap, he used to put ads in the paper for the regular price.
4. You're so cute on the pot.
5. Doesn't this birthmark look like an upside down elf holding a heart balloon?