Pour Me Another
Top this. My really bad morning started at 5:00 yesterday evening.
It ended with me covered in sand and raging about a trash can three hours ago. The sand was from trying to run to my car, ten minutes late for work, in four inch heels. I landed hands and knees first. The Coke I was holding rolled off somewhere. I didn't think about it again until after I kicked the car and drove off in a huff.
I still feel bad for kicking the car. It didn't do anything.
Then I got to work and realized someone had stolen my trash can. They couldn't have just USED it? So I went off to steal someone else's, which is probably how this all began in the first place. None of this would have happened if I'd been able to catch up on sleep yesterday instead of mowing the lawn in 93 degree weather. I might have gotten a chance to play with my camera too, instead of blowing it kisses on my way out to pull weeds.
And while we're talking about should'ves, could'ves, and maybes... It would be really great if Hoop's back would fucking heal already. I love the man. I'm not trying to sound unsympathetic. I hate seeing him in pain. But me wearing the pants AND the skirt in this relationship is getting a little old. Ever seen Victor Victoria? It's a great old Julie Andrews' movie about a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman.
I feel like her.
Today's Spam Mail:
French Toast from Susie Camp Which reminds me of that drunk chick on 40 Year Old Virgin
Unduly Corrosive from Paula Reyes
Sandwich Attack from Robert Less
5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. How can you get "more for your money" if everything we buy keeps getting smaller and smaller? I have to use my fingernail to dial the numbers on my cell phone. They tried to fix that problem by having voice activated phones. I thought it was really handy until I got a cold and it kept trying to dial "Bob" or "Job" instead of "Mom." And speaking of phones, do the pull out antennas on them actually DO anything? Or are they there just to make you feel better? A ploy to make you feel like you're doing something productive instead of simply wandering around yelling, "I have full signal. I think it's your phone... No, I really think it's YOUR phone. Maybe you should move around. Hello? HELLO? I can't hear you now." By the time you actually get a connection do you even remember what you called for? Or care? What really pisses me off are people who drive while talking on their phones but obviously can't do both. It irritates me almost as much as people who give you dirty looks while using your phone in Barnes and Nobles. It's not a LIBRARY. Would you give me the stank-eye if we were in Walmart? No, you'd be too busy trying to get the hell out of there before the rednecks trample you on their way to the discount racks. End.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: The bartender can't hear me over all the noise.
Tink: Here, lets pass him a note. *Writes on napkin*
Hoop: Are we back in middle school now?
Tink: Hand this to him.
Hoop: No way! It's in girl handwriting.
Tink: You're CLOSER.
Hoop: Fine. *Passes it to bartender*
Tink: He nodded.
Hoop: Do you think he understood?
(Five minutes pass)
Hoop: Maybe you should write him another?
Tink: And ask what?
Hoop: Um... "Did you understand the last note? Check yes or no."