Friday, July 14, 2006

The Good, Bad, and Ugly.

Seven days ago I hopped a plane that would cross four time zones, eleven states, and drop me off in the middle of my own Jerry Springer Show.

They should make T-Shirts that say, "I survived my family vacation."

Vacation Recap:
1. The moment I stepped foot in Seattle I was breathless with the beauty of the water and mountains.
2. Until some idiot pointed out, "one of those mountains is really an active volcano."
3. "You don't say!" *One foot back on the plane*
4. And then of course the other idiots thought it was OK to start talking.
5. "There's actually TWO volcanoes." "That's right! Mt. St. Helens is 96 miles south of here." "They say Mount Rainier is going to wipe Seattle out one day."
6. *Two feet back in* Unfortunately, they wouldn't let me STAY on the plane.
7. But I quickly forgot the volcanoes once we got in the cab.
8. With so many different sights all I could think of was taking as many pictures as I could.
9. And as it turned out, I couldn't take any. My camera broke as soon as I switched it on.
10. Well, HOOP'S camera to be exact. But he hasn't gotten visitation since I took custody of it ten months ago.
11. So I decided to ease my sorrows with some Chinese food.
12. Which would have been excellent, had the waitress not dumped Plum Sauce down the back of my favorite shirt.
13. So I decided to mourn the loss of my shirt with a little shopping.
14. My first purchase was a disposable camera.
15. I took two pictures and then it broke.
16. "Son of a biscuit eater!"
17. Which was a lot better then what I would have said if Lil and Big Bit hadn't been present.
18. The next few days went smoother.
19. The kids and I shared a room, which was my favorite part. We took trips to the bakery down the street and ate handmade chocolates on our balcony.
20. When the men would head off to the pool I'd sneak up to Mom's room and lay across the bed to gossip.
21. My grandparents pointed out museums for us to visit and patiently put up with all the walking and crowds.
22. It was great until we bumped into the technicolor pirate.
23. ...
24. That was my dramatic pause.
25. You're thinking "WTF?" aren't you?
26. If I ever write a book I want the first line of my story to be, "It all started with a technicolor pirate." And then I won't explain why until the very end.
27. So anyway... Hoop and I went to see "
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" on Thursday night (July 6th) at 12:01. We both agreed it was not worth the drive, the money, or the wasted hours to see.
28. Regardless of my review, the family was determined to see it while in Seattle.
29. So out we trekked in search of a theater...
30. ...right into the middle of a gay parade.
31. Seattle is a VERY diverse place.
32. Which leads me to the character that crossed our path on the way into the movie.
33. Imagine if you will a neon orange skirt and boots, gold hoops, and a technicolor beard.
34. And for those of you with no imagination:

35. Also known as, "The worst picture ever taken."
36. And, "The main reason disposable cameras SUCK."
37. But you get the gist.
38. You're wondering what the hell that pirate has to do with anything right?
39. Other than his horrible taste in fashion? Probably nothing. But it wasn't long after that the vacation went terribly awry.
40. There were arguments on the way out of the movie...
41. ...which carried over to breakfast the next morning...
42. ...and spread thicker over the next couple days.
43. Until suddenly we were having outbursts in the hotel restaurant and shoving matches outside.
43. Are you ready for this?
44. The vacation ended with the hotel requesting we not return.
45. I think I'm Jerry Springer's love child.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(After picking me up from the airport)
Tink: So what did you do while I was gone?
Hoop: I learned how to whip things.
Tink: I don't think I heard that correctly.

Hoop: I practiced using the horse whip.
Tink: On the horses?!
Hoop: No! On cans.
Tink: Oh, ok. Phew.
Hoop: I think I could be the next Indiana Jones.

From The Balcony

Seattle Market

Pretty Windows

Atop The Space Needle

Bear Head Fountain

Funky Fish

Waterfall Art

Ride The Duck!

A Scenic View

Plane Ride Home

Thank you all for your well wishes! Things are a little crazy today. But I promise to catch up on everyone's blogs on Monday.


At 14 July, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

God I missed you!

At 14 July, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

I missed you too, Tink! I'm so glad you're back (and I'm totally LOL over your Jerry Springer departure...)!

At 14 July, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

44. The vacation ended with the hotel requesting we not return.

In other words, it was a total success. haha

I'm glad you're back. I missed you lots.

Oh yeah, and you now know why I like to travle alone. And, if not alone, I get my own room.

At 14 July, 2006, Blogger F&W said...

Oh man, did we ever miss you! Thank god you're back. :o)

At 14 July, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Seattle's cool, huh? Did you see my brother? Medium height, brown hair... no? He was the one holding a coffee and stuck in traffic... still no? Maybe next time.

Glad you're back!

At 14 July, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

You're back! You're back!!

Wow, requested that y'all not come back? It must've been a successful vacation then... ;)

Um, WTF with the horsewhip?!

At 14 July, 2006, Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Booby and I took a vacation in Seattle about two years ago, and your recap made me very nostalgic. It's such a gorgeous city.

Sorry for all the fighting - I trust everything has been smoothed over since then?

Glad you're back!

At 14 July, 2006, Blogger eric said...

all their beach sand, like, black.


i like the whole total-destruction-is-imminent feel. adds character.


At 15 July, 2006, Blogger F&W said...

e+ - It's black because it's volcanic sand.

At 15 July, 2006, Blogger Shna said...

Welcome back, at least your trip was interesting, eh! :)

At 15 July, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

That stuff's sand? I thought it was leftover coffee grounds.

At 15 July, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Hu-whatt??? There was shoving and yelling? Oh dear...I hope not.

At 16 July, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Oh dear, shoving and yelling? I am kind of curious as to who was doing that. I guess you now know that maybe you haven't missed out on too much in the past, in the family vacation dept.
Glad you are back and reopened for business.
How did Hoop fare with the animal farm?

At 16 July, 2006, Blogger eric said...

volcanic sand, hunh?

that's cool.

i went when i was 9. the other thing i remember was the whirlpools.


At 16 July, 2006, Anonymous Susan said...

They forgot to tell you about Mt Baker. And earthquakes, we have earthquakes too!

At 16 July, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Yay! Welcome back!

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

Hey, Tink! Welcome back to have been sorely missed. I look forward to more about your vacation. Had I known you were coming to my neck of the woods, perhaps I could have rescued you for a day and taken you out for lunch! I can totally relate to travelling and staying in the same room with family. Last time I did that, I have vivid memories of lots and lots of LOUD snoring in the hotel room in Vancouver. We must not have had nearly as much "fun" though, since they didn't ask us not to coma back...Sorry 'bout the idiots talking about the volcanoes. FYI, I have not heard that Mt. Rainier will wipe out Seattle! There's gonna be a huge mudflow from it, but I don't think it will get quite that far...

Thank you for the great pictures. They helped remind me what a great city I do live and work in. I always get such pleasure at knowing that I can see sights like those every day, if I look for them!

...and now I'm rambling...must be the heavy antibiotics I finally got today to combat the sinus infection from Hell!

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Wow, I have to say, disposable camera and all..the pics you have there ROCK!! It is great to see other people's adventures...cannot wait to post more pics of our city bus renovation and then our adventures travelling like the brady bunch in it :)

At 17 July, 2006, Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Asked not to return to the hotel? Yowser! At least the scenery was beautiful.

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Oh wow....that technicolor pirate discription and then the PICTURE had me choking on my coffee. LMAO! OMFG!

Your trip Interesting? They actually asked you not to come back? Oh boy....

Missed ya! Glad to have you back but even more glad you got to go on your vacation! :)

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

I missed you all so much!!

Jay: "In other words, it was a total success." Absolutely! And just so this vacation isn't out done by the rest, I'm going to try and get kicked out of every hotel from here on out. ;)

Mignon: He wasn't the pirate by chance was he?

Chris: I think Hoop secretly wants to be a cowboy.

Mrs. Harridan: Everything is relatively smoothed over. Although my step dad still flinches at sudden loud noises. Hehe

Wordgirl: Pathetic and true...

Heather: Hoop did WONDERFULLY with the zoo. In fact he called taking care of the horses, "The most gratifying job I've had in a loooong time."

Eric: Whirlpools?!

Susan: There's a THIRD volcano?? Geesh woman. At least hurricanes give us a little notice. :)

Sassybead: You just gave me a great idea for a photo contest *hinthint Odd Mix*. We should all take pictures of our towns to show off what we love about them. Of course I would have to replace my camera first.

Cazzie: Thank you! It was so funny, I'm used to the view screen on the back of my camera so I kept holding the disposable at an arms length. Then I'd remember what I was using and have to bring the camera back to my face so I could look through that dinky little window.

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger geenalyn said...

glad to have you back Tink. I'm LMAO that you guys were asked to not come back to the hotel...must have been one interesting vacation...

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I missed you!

At 17 July, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Awesome! You haven't lived until you've been banned from a hotel! Florida was hot and rainy last week so you didn't miss a thing. Did you hear the sonic boom this morning? That was crazy!

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Ditto on the missing you.

I was told by my geologist ex that Rainer is a pretty big time bomb and it will explode. It's not the nice lava flowy kind but rather a highly explosive one that will make a lot of land around it just not be there anymore. But then again, he's the ex and he was wrong about everything else :-)

But Seattle is an amazing place and worth the trip. Mt. St. Helens is gorgeous,the Ho rainforest, Olympic National Park, Hurricane Ridge. There are lot's of absolutely gorgeous places out there. But go with Hoop to those. And stay at a different place. Quinault Lodge is very nice.

At 17 July, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

I'm proud to hear that you have been banned from a hotel :)

At 18 July, 2006, Blogger FA said...

So glad you're back!! Sorry to hear about YOUR camera. The disposable ones are pretty good nonetheless.

At 19 July, 2006, Blogger Tige said...

You came to Washington and I didn't even realize you were here. Bummer.

I thought Pirates was a waste compared to the first.


Post a Comment

<< Home