Shits and Giggles
1. On Saturday, Hoop and I proved we can have fun just about anywhere.
Fun at the feed store.
Hoop, gone country.
2. Although we might have embarrassed my Mom a little bit...
3. I probably shouldn't have taste-tested all the salt and mineral cubes.
4. And Hoop shouldn't have been chasing me around with a six inch horse needle.
5. But to be fair, it was Papa Bear who twirled the pooper scooper around proclaiming it looked like a "satellite dish."
6. Did you know they make trading cards for professional bull riding?
7. I went horseback riding for the first time in ten years on Saturday. It was like riding a bike...
8. ...a very hungry bike who likes to stop and eat trees.
9. Grandpa's in his 80's. He went horseback riding for the first time in his life.
10. The ride went well, up until the point where he slid off.
11. He's fine. Although I don't know how anxious he'll be to go horseBELLY riding again.
12. Hoop and I went out drinking at our favorite dive on Saturday night.
13. I said I wasn't drunk. But I DID go upstairs for a drink with a friend and forgot to come back down again.
14. By the time I found Hoop again someone had puked on my shoes, spilled a drink in my hair, put a cigarette out on my ass and passed out right in front of me.
15. And people wonder why I don't go out much.
16. Hoop and I had great plans for Sunday that included the beach, lunch, and possibly the flea market.
17. We never left the couch.
18. And then it started raining.
19. So we laid around all day watching the Health Channel...
20. ...and shows on obesity.
21. And then we went over to Hoop's Grandparents' house for Kentucky Fried Chicken.
22. Which is kind of disturbing if you think about it.
23. Before dinner Hoop's Mom and I ran to Home Depot (AKA my second home).
24. Where Hoop's Mom introduced me to someone as, "Hoop's fiance."
25. To which I responded by scratching my face with my BARE left hand and smiling.
Contest courtesy of Odd Mix:
A drunk's view.
An old wish granted.
(Some random weekend pictures)
Dedicated to Momma T and her huge metal chicken. These really ARE in someone's yard.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While watching a show about a 750lb man)
Tink: Is it bad that this show is making me hungry?
Hoop: I'm pretty sure it has put me off food for a couple days.
Hoop: Next is a story about a girl who's slowly turning to stone.
Tink: I thought it was about that paraplegic who's pregnant.
Hoop: No, that's after the special on medical mysteries.
Tink: The one where that girl is screaming to be put out of her misery?
Tink: Jesus, this channel is DEPRESSING!
Hoop: And yet, we watch it...
Not Far From The Tree:
Alzheimer-Grandfather: What are we watching?!
Hoop: It's called "The Family Guy."
AG: Well why the hell can't I understand what they're saying?
Hoop: That's because they were doing-
Hoop and Tink: ...
Tink: What did he say?
Hoop: I have no idea... What did you say Grandpa?
AG: I said what I heard.
Hoop: Oh! That's because they were doing a joke in Spanish.
AG: Does this look like SPAIN to you?!