Friday, June 16, 2006

Hello God.

I've come to the conclusion that you're bored.

So I've decided to throw down some helpful suggestions on how to spice things up, since I'm too sick to think about doing actual work today. I hear Britney Spears is pregnant again. That's impressive in itself. But how about fixing her with a whole litter this time? That way if she drops a few of the kids, the rest will still have a fighting chance. THAT would be a miracle.

Of course you might be more in the mood for a plague. In which case might I suggest Washington DC? The Footinmouthitis you gave to Bush is pretty ingenious, but I think we'd all be more impressed if you made his mouth fall off altogether. You could always make an appearance again. Although you might want to choose a better location next time. You can't just stroll into Disney World and expect everyone to take notice. You're lucky those kids didn't beat you up on their way to see Mickey.

How are the angels? Tell Bruce his
toilet paper is a huge success down here. And Cindy's looking slim on that new Cream Cheese diet of hers. It doesn't look like she'll need that wing extension after all. I hope you have a great weekend. Good luck on that pool tournament with Satan tonight. Try not to scratch the Earth again. Do consider my suggestions if you get hung up for stuff to do. I'll see you around!

~Tink

Random Site Of Interest: I can't decide if
this site is brilliant or just disturbing. They give celebrities "facials." Which might be considered an improvement in some cases.


Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...

Discipline
Comfort


So get clicking!

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(Overheard phone conversation)
Hoop: So you're actually doing it huh? You're going into the military?
...
Hoop: Well, I wish you luck man. And whatever you do, don't tell them you're gay.
...
Hoop: Oh shit. I'm so sorry! I didn't know I was on speaker phone. I was just kidd- hello? Hello?

Things That Make You Go, "WTF?":
1. Never trust a bum with clean teeth.
2. I knew it was over when she picked up the kids in a Uhaul.
3. My instrument is my nose. I can blow and pick it too.
4. The most important supply during a hurricane is batteries... for my vibrator.

DOT: I will be updating the story on Monday, seeing as I'm really sick right now and not exactly in the best condition to take the lives of TT's characters in my hands. Unless you LIKE my most recent idea of pitting Tink against a giant fly swatter? ;)

Have A Fantastic Weekend!

18 Comments:

At 16 June, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Sorry you are sick. Missed you

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

It's a good idea to keep God busy. If he gets too bored he starts f*****g with me again.

"I knew it was over when she picked up the kids in a Uhaul." That could be the title to a country music song. Right after "Yodeling in the canyon of love" of course.

Sorry your sick, get some sleep, have some chicken noodle soup and drink plenty of fluids.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Did Hoop do this to you?? Probably stress, huh? Get a good movie and review it for us - something lazy to do!

Who's the guy with the lemur eyes?

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Mamalujo, is that a picture of a young Lee Majors? That's hott.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Feel better, Tink. :)

Mignon, Lemur Eyes is Ben Affleck.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Hope you feel better soon. And, No - I don't think the giant fly swatter idea is your best yet.

Take cae of you. More to the point, tell Hoop that a real man would be taking care of you.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

Arabella, I think you misspelled it. Isn't it Ben Aflict(ion).

Sorry. Can't stand that guy.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Ugh, sorry to hear you're sick. Blech. Feel better soon.

The Hoop convo? OMFG. I am pissing myself.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Hope you get better quickly!

The Hoop conversation - priceless. Who writes his dialogue?! :)

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Feel Better!

For colds: boil water with brown sugar, fresh cut ginger and green onions. Then drink the water. Works like a charm! (Learned it in acupuncture and traditional chinese med school).

I agree with odd mix. Hoop needs to be taking care of his queen.

 
At 16 June, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Sorry you're sick...but you're still hilarious.

I loved today's Things that make you go WTF?

 
At 17 June, 2006, Anonymous mrspao said...

Hope you're feeling better soon. :) Love the Hoop convo!

 
At 17 June, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Poor Tink!

Hey, everyone I LIKE Ben Whoflick.

Those celebrity pics are disturbing. Like, can't go to sleep disturbing.

 
At 18 June, 2006, Blogger mE said...

Slowly getting back into the swing of blogging (including reading blogs), and enjoyed spending the last half hour cackling madly enough that it actually inspired the Vampire to come and read over my shoulder.

Unfortunately, I think Hoop has become his new Role Model...

I don't know whether to thank you or to put you on a hit list.

(I missed you so!!)

~Eileen

PS - WHAT is with Blogger??!!??

 
At 18 June, 2006, Anonymous Caryn said...

I love open letters on blogs, and your letter to God was hilarious! And you're right--the facial site is downright scary. I might have nightmares tonight.

 
At 19 June, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Awww, sorry you weren't feeling well, hopefully you still had a good wkend and you are feeling better today. *hugs*

Those make over pics are *too much*, LMAO!

 
At 19 June, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

I hope you feel better. I dont' trust any bums.

 
At 19 June, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Speaking of angels, I hope the one on the Capital One ads doesn't get assigned to any of my bike rides.

And for celebrity makeovers, check out Gallery of the Absurd.

Gotta run. I hear the orderlies coming...

 

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