Wednesday, May 31, 2006

If "worry" were a food...

...I'd be fat.

5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. We live in the age of quizzes and tests. All meant to stimulate, entertain and scare the shit out of us. According to the
Death Test, I'm going to die on November 25th 2036 at the young age of 53. The probable cause of death? Cancer, homicide, or ELECTROLYSIS. Who knew hair removal procedures were so dangerous! And if you believe Doprah's RealAge Test, I'm already a 26.15 year old trapped in the body of a 23 year old. Which means I only have 26.85 more years to publish a book, win the lotto, run for president, discover Atlantis, and take over the world. Talk about pressure. Do you think I could finally rent a car if I prove I'm already past the age of 25, mentally? "Excuse me. This test says I'm well past the required age... What do you mean it's not legit? Pffft, the internet doesn't lie." Or college? I own my own house and they STILL want to see my parents tax statements before qualifying me for a grant. Speaking of money. You know what? Money sucks... I'm ready to go back to the barter system. How many ears of corn do you think it would take to buy a house? End.

Today's Spam Mail:
Carnivore Carne from Joshua Nguyen
Orbit Joyful from Lawrence Knox
Facial Drain from Sandy Pickler

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Please quit playing with that lighter.
Hoop: Sorry. It's habit.
Tink: What is it with boys and fire?
Hoop: I had a friend in grade school who accidentally caught some woods on fire.
Tink: See?
Hoop: I also had a friend who drank a bottle of peroxide.
...
Hoop: And a friend who stuck a ruler in an electrical outlet.
...
Hoop: And a frie-
Tink: -Holy shit. Shut up!
Hoop: What?

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Do you mind if I pack everything from the bedroom closet?
Hoop: No, go ahead.
...
Hoop: You're not just packing my stuff so you can kick me out and keep it, are you?
Tink: *Blink* Yes, Hoop. You've figured me out. I only wanted you for your collection of stray game controllers and old baseball trophies.
Hoop: I knew it!

20 Comments:

At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

If we were on the barter system, I'd be sellin some beef curtains to get me a house!

How does a ruler even fit into an outlet? That kid must've been trying really hard to get himself electrolysisized.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Is Hoop one of the only survivors in his circle of friends? I hope you have child-proofed everything Tink.

Are you sure it wasn't Hoop who died from electrolysis??

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Death by electrolysis is when somebody puts a cathoderizes you and all your electrons run out your anode.

I had a friend who ate bugs and floorwax to try and impress girls...

And a friend who snorted a line of salt because he thought it was cocaine...

And a friend who skied into the top of a twenty foot pine tree...

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

and, Debbie, there is NO. SUCH. THING. as child-proof! Merely degrees of child-challenging.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Ok, so Real Age is 39.8. Funny how they don't measure how old I ACT! That would probably be around 17.

And I'm going to die on Feb 26, 2036 at the age of 67. Probably from alcoholism, but possibly while cleaning my rifle. haha

I have some friends who have done some very strange things, too. But I do admit that it was me who talked them into most of those things.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Ok, so Real Age is 39.8. Funny how they don't measure how old I ACT! That would probably be around 17.

And I'm going to die on Feb 26, 2036 at the age of 67. Probably from alcoholism, but possibly while cleaning my rifle. haha

I have some friends who have done some very strange things, too. But I do admit that it was me who talked them into most of those things.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

*Blink* Yes, Hoop. You've figured me out. I only wanted you for your collection of stray game controllers and old baseball trophies.

Crap, he's onto you.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Death by ELECTROLYSIS??!!

I guess it's back to waxing, after all.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

My dad's friend burnt down a newly built barn when he was 9.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Talk about TMI there, Hoop!! Yowza. It's amazing that any males live past 25, really.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Conversation #2 cracks me up. Mostly because Jeff and I have had startlingly similar exchanges recently, except in his case it's back issues of Maxim and jeans that even if they ever did fit him again would not be coming back into style.

Let me know if you figure out that corn barter thing.

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger EE said...

(stupid blogger ate my comment....grumble, grumble...we are so not getting along today, lol)

Ok so, like I said BEFORE, Hoop convo #2 is too funny.

And YES, barter, I'm all about that!

 
At 31 May, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

You can call Hoop, Pyro, from the X-Men. Didn't he love playing with lighters too? He may have some hidden talents.

 
At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Rock said...

For the record I have X-men 13 through 65 originals and I loved them back them - the new stuff is fun but I loved the old stuff. and YES that dates ME!

 
At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Tige said...

It says I'm going to die Saturday, July 9th 2044. At the tender age of 73. That's longer than I've ever expected.

Tink, I'll let you borrow/drive my car if you are ever in Spokane.

 
At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Tige, can I borrow/drive your car when I'm in Spokane tomorrow?

 
At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

In Jason's spambox, he has the amazing opportunity to drop 2 dress sizes before summer. I'm totally jealous.

 
At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

When I was a kid my babysitter and I would ask the Ouija board how old everyone we knew would be when they died. Needless to say, it was totally wrong on many accounts. LOL

 
At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Tige said...

Mignon, quite possible. When/where do you need it?

 
At 02 June, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Mmm.. fire. I used to love having bonfires when I had an allotment. It was so satisfying to see all the rubbish being burnt up. But flicking on a lighter? That is just odd....

 

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