"Get Out Of Monday- Free" Card
I came back to the blog this morning and realized nothing on my To-Do list had been accomplished, not the flashy new header, not the post sorter, and no one alphabetized my pens by brand and color. Evidently, and this may come as a shock to some of you, I don't HAVE a staff!
1. Hoop and I got in a lengthy discussion on the way out of X-Men 3 over which superpower was the most unbelievable.
2. We agreed it was Multiple Man's.
3. Cyclops didn't even make the list.
4. Everyone knows a man who shoots lasers out of his eyes is totally plausible. Duh.
5. Sunday, we went to look at horses with the family.
6. The horses' owner had a pet Chihuahua who was both deaf and blind...
7. ...and ran into walls A LOT.
8. I tried to mow the knee-high grass in our backyard yesterday.
9. The mower choked 8 times. "@*!#?"
10. But I kept on trying...
11. ...until it started smoking. "That's it, I'm done."
12. I was greeted at my door Saturday by two well dressed people who handed me a "complimentary" 2 liter of Pepsi.
12. I thought they were Jehovah's Witnesses.
13. Or Taste Testers.
14. Or Rapists.
15. They were really Vacuum Salesmen.
16. When I wouldn't let them in my house one of them got down on their hand and knees in the dirt and begged.
17. So he didn't notice when I slammed the door.
18. I woke up this morning to Hoop yelling that he'd stepped in dog shit.
19. So what did I do? I got up and cleaned it off for him.
20. If that ain't love I don't know what is.
Contest courtesy of Odd Mix:
Hoop's grandfather has Alzheimers. He built this bird house village back when he was well. Now, he barely remembers making them.
(Some random weekend pictures)
One Eared Pup?
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: You are such a Perv.
Tink: I'M the Perv? Whatever, Perver.
Tink: Yeah. Kind of like, "Dumb and Dumber."
Today's Spam Mail:
Boundless from Sue Alford
Shun Allotment from Cecily Milligan
Snappy Backyard from Kit Bennett
Poplar Jellyfish from Frank Maloney
Slobber Register from Persy Davila
Not Far From The Tree:
Mom: *Hands over two stones*
Tink: What are these for?
Mom: They're "Sex Rocks."
Tink: "Sex Rocks?"
Tink: Ok. WHY are they "Sex Rocks?"
Mom: Cause they're just fucking rocks.
Things That Make You Go, "WTF?":
1. That was like the Cirque du Soleil of sex. Only the clowns were drunk.
2. Elderly lesbians make me think of curtains made out of old roast beef, slapping together.
3. There were Llamas, Turkeys, and Ostriches... And that was just the petting zoo.
4. It's the aliens. They're coming to abduct you.
5. Drunk people always claim to see pink elephants.