Thursday, May 25, 2006

Fit For A King

I almost cancelled the appointment with out real estate agent last night. "You have to look at this house I found you," Mom insisted. So we went. The description read, "Master bed and bath fit for a King!" I think "King" was their way of glorifying "Man." The bathroom had TWO showers in it. One was a typical tiled tub and shower. The other (right next to it) was a large, open, plastic monstrosity. I tried to find a picture for you... Word to the wise, don't type "shower models" into Google. You will NOT get "models of showers."

The bathroom had only one sink, with barely enough counter around it to hold it in. I mean, where's a girl supposed to place her hair crap and make-up? I mentally tore down one of the showers and replaced it with a double sink. I demolished the existing sink and replaced it with a fancy towel cabinet. Normally I would have passed on a house that needed work. But despite the odd bathroom, the house sat on the most gorgeous lot you could ever imagine. Hoop and I were sold before we even entered the house. Imagine sitting on your porch and looking down into a wooded valley, a prairie Sanctuary.

It has no garage. It's in the middle of NOWHERE, 40 minutes away from civilization. The rooms are huge. The main bathroom is bizarre. It's on a winding dirt road with no street lights. It's 5 minutes away from my parents. So if you think we've lost our bloody minds, you're probably right! But then again, you haven't seen this view. It practically seduces you to stop breathing altogether. I could list off a million pros and cons about the house, the same ones that kept me from sleep last night. But I'm not going to say anymore. I'm not going to get my hopes up and I'm not going to jinx this. Just... cross your fingers for us OK?

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: *Burp*
Hoop: I can top that. *Fart*
Tink: That's not fair. They're in totally different categories! Get your own division.
Hoop: What is this, the Gas Olympics?

May Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Ow Blog I'm so sorry. Please don't sue. Bad Blog! Bad!
2. Tigon stupid reek like poo Tigon think you reek too.
3. Intense orga Sims If you can't spell it, you shouldn't have it.
4. crude jokes Sweet!

5. really crude jokes Alright.
6. amazing jokes crude
We get it already!

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: What do you think of this house?
Hoop: It's got power poles in front of it.
Real Estate Agent: So?
Hoop: I'd like to keep all my hair and limbs, thank you.
Real Estate Agent: *Confused stare*
Tink: You DO realize the
Oblongs are a cartoon right?
Hoop: No, that shit really happens!


At 25 May, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

Oooh Tink - the house (view) sounds just lovely! Weird bathrooms can be fixed...views are much harder to come by. Can I just make one suggestion? Be sure to find out what, if anything, could potentially be done to spoil that view in the future. You know...encroaching civilization, development, etc. I don't want to spoil your excitement, but I speak from experience. Imagine our dismay when the lovely horse pasture behind the house my ex and I bought in Idaho eventually turned into the backside of a huge Fred Meyer and storage units facility! We thought we were on the very edge of the development, and that we would have the horses come visit us over the fence for years to come...

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

PS - I added a link to you on my blog...I want everyone else to find out how much fun you are to read!

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Best of luck on the house. Hope it works out.

It sounds great, if you like 40 mins from civilization and 5 mins from parents. Actually the 40 mins from civilization is fine. Next door to parents. Well.......

Gas Olympics? Sounds like something they might televise on Spike TV.

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Sassybead: That's the beauty of it. The backyard butts up to a sanctuary, undevelopable! Fred Meyer and storage units facility? How lovely *eye roll*. Geesh. Thanks for the link! One can never have too many friends. :)

Jay: Yeah, the 40 minutes from civilization and 5 minutes from parents was a CON. The pro to that is they'd have to find the house first. It's an adventure just to get back there. I'm totally buying a jeep.

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Good luck!

I actually kind of love odd bathrooms.

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

If no one is around, you don't have to hide stuff in your garage anyway!

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Ohhh, the house sounds *awesome*. Bathrooms can be re-done!

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Freakazojd said...

Fingers crossed! :)

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

*crosses fingers*

Ok, the Daily Hoop #2 is excellent. You guys should do stand up comedy. :)

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Fit for a king -- just be glad it wasn't presented as "a gay man's dream shower". I believe that's what my mom's real estate agent said about the master bath in the house she purchased a few years ago.

Good luck on the house!!

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

*fingers are crossed*

Um, I'm laughing really hard at your Google Search lesson...I typed in 'dolphin' once and got a ton of vibrators. Jeez.

And The Gas Olympics? That's BRILLIANT! Dave would clean house. ;)

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Sounds like my kind of place (not the bathroom, the lot). I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. And you might find that proximity to the parents, and even the distance from "civilization" are not quite the CONS that they may seem.

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Cheryl said...

Tink...if you type "shower models" in quotes in Google, you don't get any nudes. If, however, you type shower models with no quotes, you get one site with nudes. Very nicely done, I might add.

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Congrats!! When you find the right one, you just know it. Can't wait to see pictures!!

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

Fingers AND toes crossed. I'd cross my eyes, but I'm afraid they'd stick.

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Fingers crossed for you girl! Heck if the view is that good you can even eventually knock the whole house down never mind the bathroom :-) ha ha ha ha

At 25 May, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Word to the wise, don't type "shower models" into Google. You will NOT get "models of showers"

God, you crack me up.

Good luck. Take some time to think about it though. Sometimes you get that "new car" mindset going on when you house hunt. You know, the idea that you must have this no matter the cons being thrown at you.

At 26 May, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Oh yay!

At 26 May, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Good luck with the on-going house hunt. I hope you find just the perfect one.

House hunting/building makes my teeth itch and my eyes bleed.

At 26 May, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Fingers and toes crossed. And I don't think you reek like poo at all.

At 26 May, 2006, Blogger eric said...

i live five minutes from my in-laws and, trust me, the parents come in handy when you have kids.


At 26 May, 2006, Anonymous Sarah said...

I am so with you on the "house ain't perfect but the land is beyond perfection" decision. Our house is great now - but it needs some attention, specifically to the bathroom (Why are people who redo bathrooms always just a little clueless about the real people who actually USE the bathroom?). But we're on a big lot with our own park in the back yard, and you can always edit a house. You can't just go to Home Depot and hook yourself up with some land.

Good luck!

At 29 May, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I would get rid of the second shower....seriously, what does anyone need with 2 showers?

I hope the house hunt goes well.


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