Thursday, May 11, 2006

Melting

Dorothy was a twit. Sure she had cute shoes, but absolutely no common sense. So I've decided to learn from her mistakes. I'm not waiting. I'm throwing water on this bitch witch right now. We all walked into class last night with our 100 problems in hand, anticipating the dreaded quiz that would follow. But instead, the teacher walked in and instantly dove into the next chapter. There were murmurs of confusion and frustration. "We'll be taking the quiz in the last 20 minutes of class," she said smugly.

Three hours later, as my hand began to cramp and my eyes began to bob around like bath toys, the teacher passed out the quiz. "Now try not to screw up and use any of the methods we just learned. You're going to have to revert back to what you did two days ago. I know it's going to be hard." I swear she snickered. I stared at the paper. There were only three questions. "33% each," I thought glumly. And then I froze on the first one. So many people sighed, I thought the room was breathing. I worked the problem four times before I realized I was using the new methods. I tried to remember what I was supposed to do. But my brain was fried.

I thought of Mudslides and sleeping in and Hoop in a Tarzan outfit. When I looked down, box one had been filled with stick figures jumping off a cliff like Lemmings. Two and Three were easier, but two out of three still equals a D. I handed in the quiz and watched as the teacher's expression bled out like dye. I knew she was watching, but I refused to huff out like all the students before me did. So I calmly gathered my books, winking at the girl next to me. As I was walking out the door I made sure to make eye contact with the witch. I stared. She stared. And then I smiled. It was like I had dumped ice water on her.

Let's see how happy she can be without students to torment.

I'm dropping the fucking class today.

And then I'm going out to celebrate.

Today's Spam Mail:
Mean from Pol Corbett
Antidote Orderly from Joey
Clutches from Elvira Williamson
Rejuvenate Covet from Hope Hammond

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I should be on the next
Unan1mous.
Tink: Oh yeah?
Hoop: Yeah, and my group wouldn't be stuck down there for more than a day.
Tink: You think so huh?
Hoop: The moment we arrived I'd announce, "You should all vote for me and then I'll divide it evenly amongst us."
Tink: Pffft. And WHY would they believe you?
Hoop: Because then I'd say, "If you DON'T, I'll make sure we all walk away with nothing."
Tink: You forgot the "Muwahaha" at the end.

I got a memo from my boss this morning with this attached:

And people wonder why I'm so anxious to leave.

17 Comments:

At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

Between your teacher and your boss, you need an exorcism.

Sorry, man. Hope things improve.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I would have dropped that class too. You won't learn anything if you teacher wants only to torture everyone.

Of course, this brings me back to my college days. Sitting in a financial management class staring at the test and then looking around wondering if I was in the right room.

You're boss might be a bit of a freak too.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Anonymous J said...

Damn, that mouse picture is wrong on sooooo many levels. Yikes.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I was going to say the exact same thing as Kim. It's a good thing you have Hoop! :o)

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I was going to say the exact same thing as Kim. It's a good thing you have Hoop! :o)

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I'd drop the class too. You don't need that crap.

My god. I just glanced at that kiwi picture. That's not a kiwi.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

I feel very afraid. Thank goodness you're leaving that class. She's not a teacher, she's a sadist.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Thank you all for your support! I kept bouncing from guilt to vindication this morning. It's not like me to just give up on something. But I went to the school at lunch and grabbed a petition. Evidently I have to send out a formal letter now to drop the class. What a mess.

And no Mama T, not a kiwi. ;)

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

What is this class for? Can you take something else in its place. What an awful, bitter teacher you have. She needs to be a prison guard...not a teacher.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Good for you. Most definately you should have dropped it.

Umm...that last pic. So.not.ok. LOL

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

First of all, Hoop? That's freakin genius!

Good for you for dropping the class. Algebra shouldn't be like that. It should be all fun and frivolity, as far as I'm concerned. But if that's a little too wtf?, then it should at least be clear and concise. Duh. It's math, not Nietzsche.

And people shouldn't be like that either. You should crank call her!

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Sometimes retreat is a good thing. Drop the class and then take it later with a different teacher. You are not "quitting" - that is what leaving because you didn't want to learn or put in reasonable effort would be.

That picture is just gross - and it would have been soo much better if they had made it with a picture of a kiwi bird.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Okay, the problem was when you thought of Hoop in a Tarzan outfit. That made MY brain freeze and I wasn't even taking a test.

Fogedaboudit, Tink!! I hate math.

Hee, hee I just read your menu on Wordgirl's blog. Hairy arms. Ha!

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Ahhh yes, the end of the class quiz. One of my least favorites. 3 of the last 8 classes I've had did the same thing. Gack!

Ummm, the mouse thing is a little disturbing. Run...run...!

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

That picture is terrible - especially since I just had a kiwi fruit. Excuse me while I go throw up now.

Glad you dropped the class! I had an algebra teacher who was just an awful teacher and I dropped it three weeks in with a D. Took the class the next year with a different teacher and got an A. I wasn't any different. Just the teacher... I hope you take the time to write a very detailed explanation/evaluation of that teacher and why you're dropping.

 
At 11 May, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

It's always a bad sign when the teacher prefaces a test with, "Now try not to screw up." WTF?!? LOL

That picture is so disturbing. I received it in an e-forward containing numerous cleverly photoshopped pictures; I personally would have gone with the sheep / cauliflower, but that's just me. LOL

 
At 11 May, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

So glad. It is NOT worth it. No fucking way. I'm proud of you.

 

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