Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Life, or something...else.

The Wicked Witch Of Algebra: After acing my first math class in five years, I felt brave enough to sign myself up for a summer Algebra class. Two days a week instead of one you say? Bring it on buddy! Three and a half hours instead of two? No teacher ever follows their schedule anyway. A test every single class? Whoa, wait a second. I didn't sign up for that shit. As I sat in class last night, I found myself wishing I had Dorthy's magical pumps. Anything to bring me out of the hell hole I was in.

I knew I was in trouble when the first thing out of my teacher's mouth was, "Thith clath will alwayth stay until 8:40." Nice, a lisp. Thankfully there are no numbers with S's in them... That's a joke people. I could have felt sorry for her. I could have felt sorry for us, the students, for that matter. But I didn't have time to register anything but hatred as the teacher started ruining the next seven weeks of my life. Not only are we going to be using all three and a half hours of the class period, timed so as I won't possibly get a chance to eat or relax after work, but we're going to have a test each class and over 100 homework problems a night.

"I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection."

Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get worse, the teacher tells us we are not allowed to: talk to anyone around us, be one minute late coming back from our 5 minute break, turn around to look at the clock, or sharpen pencils once class has started. I'm having flashbacks of high school, and not the cool kind. My last teacher was a lot more relaxed. Yet she managed to get the job done. I felt like a responsible adult in her class, not some troublesome teen. This woman uses words like, "Icky" and "Gross" to describe formulas. The real kicker though... She's MY age. How does that happen?


Today's Spam Mail:
Air Conditioning Sandbag from James Levy
Controversy Foothill from Leo Shafer

Writing On The Desk:
Teacher: Please fill out these forms about yourself.
Student 1: Why is this necessary?
Teacher: Because I like to know all about my students. Like once I had a girl in my class who used to live next to Tom Cruise!
Tink: Was he crazy back then too?
Student 2: Did he jump on her couch?
Student 1: Did he shake her and yell, "I'm so HAPPY to meet you!"
Teacher: *Glares* That's enough chit-chat.

Think Cynical: I am SHOCKED that
Jay didn't cover this today. I don't usually dig into current news or gossip. I leave that to people who are more objective. Or at least don't refer to Paris Hilton as "the perfect test subject for 'designer paper bags' You know, as the next head fashion?" hehe

Anyway...

Last night
David Blaine tried to break the "holding breath while under water" record. Unfortunately, he failed. And all he got as consolation were some seriously wrinkled feet and the possibility of nerve damage. Oh yeah, and thousands of adoring fans screaming his praises. The article above perfectly highlights the evening with quotes such as:

"I asked him if there was room for one more in there, and he gave me a nod," she said.

and

"I got water on my hand from his body," said excited student Anthony Taylor.

Because THAT'S the stuff that truly matters.

17 Comments:

At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

OMG, on the David Blaine fans! Eeww! I can be fan crazy, but not "psycho!" LOL!

LOL at your algebra teacher. I hope my students did not think that about me when I taught algebra. Heheh!

That reminds me, my sister took a US History class with a guy that could barely speak English (He was Chinese). US History! Now, I am all for different ethnics teaching "whatever" but when you cannot understand a person, I'd go crazy too!

Maybe she treats you like high school students because of your Tom Cruise conversations. Just kidding! I laughed, and if I were that teacher, I'd probably join right in with you!

 
At 09 May, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Jesus! Do you have to ask to go to the bathroom too? And did you say she's your age? Sounds like a real piece of work.

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Oh, man, I'm sorry about the algebra class. Is there any other open section that you could switch into? If not, well, at least it's only two nights a week, right? Maybe Hoop could give you some extra back rubs to make up for it?

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Algebra is both Icky and Gross.

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Eeew Maths! I have a lot of respect for you now.

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I always wonder why some teachers try to rule their classrooms with an iron fist. For the kind of class you're taking I just don't see how that helps any. I wonder if perhaps your teacher is totally intimidated by her class or is just feeling insecure and is afraid of being walked on by her students so she wants to lay the smack down from the get-go, with her lisp. Who cares though, dude, because it sounds like the class sucks. Math is bad enough without that kind of teacher.

I'm totally snorting about the chit-chat. LOL. And, "Air Conditioning Sandbag?" WTF?

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

David Blaine is a major attention whore. I didn't really know what he was doing in that big ball of water. I was hoping someone would drop some piranhas in there with him.

I had a couple of college intructors like that woman too. I had one who taught a senior level international trade class. She started out putting us all in alphabetical order. Then she told us we would have sit with our hands on our desk when we weren't taking notes.

Oh and then she told us we would have sign in at the beginning of class swearing that we were ready for class, and if she called on us and we didn't know the answer to her question we would lose points. I got up and walked out, just ahead of 6 other people.

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Chelle: LOL! A CHINESE instructor for US HISTORY? Someone please confirm THAT is ironic.

TB: Go to the bathroom in the middle of class? Are you crazy? That's what the five minute break is for. Let me reiterate how much I hate this woman.

Arabella: I don't think I'm getting any back rubs any time soon. Poor Hoop is practically in the same boat. Only I think his boat HAS a paddle... And it's not floating down shit creek.

I came home last night and the first thing out of his mouth was, "I've been studying for 7 hours. Would you please help me?"
*Sigh*

Mama T: I think she's VERY insecure. But I also think she's assuming the wrong things. I would have treated her with nothing but respect had she shown me the same. I might have even liked her. *Shudder*

Jay: Hoop couldn't stop bashing the way Blaine was crying and acting all melodramatic. I finally flipped the channel after he yelled, "Quit being a wuss and get back in!" at the TV.

Did you also get the whole "lover" vibe off the guy verbally coaching him through the stunt?

I would have walked on that class too. That kind of behavior is nuts and uncalled for in general. But to be paying to be treated that way? No thank you.

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

I studied Ancient Chinese History once. The instructor had a very strong Indian accent. Ancient Chinese pronunciation in a strong Indian accent? Indeciperable!

 
At 09 May, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I love algebra and think about it often. Tho thue me.

I've never taken a math class from an English-as-a-first-language instructor, and that includes five college courses, but I've also never been demeaned and mistreated either. I think I'd rather have a nearly-indecipherable Asian man explaining partial differential equations than a white woman my own age that's annoying and condescending.

(Can you find someone in the class you can pass notes with and make fun of your teacher and draw ugly pictures with her and her giant unruly tongue and perhaps out-of-control nose hair?)

 
At 10 May, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

Tink, you should just walk into the next class and bitch slap her. I'll pay you if you take pictures. :)

 
At 10 May, 2006, Blogger EE said...

OMG, reading that just about gave me an anxiety attack. I don't 'do' math. And I don't 'do' tests. LOL (god! Good thing I caught that, I wrote 'testes', LMAO!)

 
At 10 May, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Oh Mignon, you are tho weird to like math.

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like David Blaine or find him sexy?? And, doesn't like to watch magic on t.v. Hello???? T.V.???? How can you believe anything you see on there? Sorry, magic just doesn't translate well to t.v.

 
At 10 May, 2006, Anonymous Amanda B. said...

I want to flog David Blaine with damp poultry. Is that wrong?

 
At 10 May, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Amanda, it's only wrong if you get off on it.

 
At 10 May, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

Debbie, I like David Blaine, but only when he's doing his street magic. He's definitely talented in that arena and I give him credit for it. But these stupid stunts he's been pulling the past few years just make me laugh. Damn freak. LOL!

 
At 10 May, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Yowza, that teacher - seriously, maybe you shouldn't brake on the way out of the lot after class. Just saying...

 

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