The Problem With Moving: Hoop, my little brothers, and I checked out three different pieces of property this weekend. The first was a pie shaped lot with a 10 foot entryway on a dirt road and butted up against two very dilapidated trailers. The ONLY thing right about it was the price. Since a 12 foot privacy fence was out of our budget, we decided to pass.
The next property was a long skinny lot on a major road. The agent listed off a dozen great features and then casually mentioned the "minor" problem with it. The original owner had died, leaving the property in the possession of the kids. Not only were they having trouble deciding how much to sell it for, but they couldn't agree on who should be in charge of selling it, or even if they wanted to officially list it at all. Um, yeah. PASS.
As we drove onto the dirt road of the third and last property, Hoop and I groaned. The road was a series of pits and bumps, with holes nearly three feet wide and two feet deep. "Can my SUV even make that?" I asked out loud. But we weren't given the chance to worry about it further, as the real estate agent gunned her mini-van. We all watched in amazement as the van plunged nose first into the holes and then rose with a roar and a cloud of dust. I followed behind meekly.
As the gap between our two cars grew I started to picture our agent laughing like a maniac as she pushed the peddle on her Mommy-mobile. "I think she's having fun," Big Bit laughed from the back. "Go faster, Tink!" Lil Bit yelled out. When we finally caught up to the agent's car it was totally coated in a brown film. She casually stepped from the van, tossing her fiery red hair with a flourish.
Then she grinned and said "I took you the scenic way. The other entrance is less than a quarter mile up the road." Hoop and I glanced at each other. The property was nice, Hoop's favorite by far. So it wasn't a pointless escapade. As for my car, I seem to be pushing it toward an early retirement. It hesitated to start this morning as if to say, "You WILL pay for yesterday."
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I'd like to get one of those bathing suits that lets you tan through it.
Hoop: No, don't do that. Tan lines are sexy.
Tink: Tan lines are SEXY?
Hoop: It sort of reminds me of lingerie. As long as there's not too much of a contrast. It's not sexy if parts of you look like they're glowing. But a little hint of a line is really hot.
Tink: So, it's only sexy if the bathing suit looks like lingerie? And you have to make sure you get just enough sun to leave a faint line?
Hoop: Oh yeah.
Tink: What world are you living in Hoop?
Attack of the Spam: Remember when you could always count on spam email to have catchy titles like, "Sign up for a FREE car!" Or "Fill out this survey for a lifetime supply of diapers!" Those days are gone. They've now been replaced with what I call "The One-Liners." I'm pretty certain the words thrown into the subject lines of these emails are randomly drawn, all in the hopes that you might be interested in things like, "Horses, Venomous, or Gunpowder." My favorites are:
"Electrocution" from Kitty Duke
"Cheapness riddled" from Frank Gross
"Brand New Appendages" from Herbery Rojas
Oh my Gawd, I always dreamed of having an extra arm! Thank you Spammers!
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: I think that was the best waiter we've ever had.
Hoop: Yeah, he was pretty good.
Tink: We should tell him. It would probably make his night.
Hoop: Why don't you tell him. If I tell him it might seem a little-
Hoop: *Blink* I was going to say trivial. But thanks for your vote of confidence there babe.
Things That Make You Go, "WTF?":
1. The first thing I'm going to do when we buy land is run through it naked.
2. Can I see your drivers license? You know, just in case you decide to mug me.
3. Farts don't smell. They don't have any noses!
Brought to you by Odd Mix.
(#1) This weeks words were:
(The guy wearing this hairy helmet had hair just like it underneath.)
Be sure to join us for next weeks contest! Come on. Don't be shy.