Two Cherries and a Lemon.
I'm not feeling particularly organized this morning, or motivated. So I'm pulling the slot handle on this post. What you get is a luck of the draw.
10 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. I think the difference between men and women can be summed up in one trip to the bathroom. I can't count the number of times I've heard men complain that women take too long using the loo. I'll admit, even IM a little confused by the size of our waiting lines. It's ridiculous. But men don't seem to understand what all is required of us femmes if we choose to brave the public restroom. First, we have to squat... Or sit. And if we sit we have to wrap the seat in a flimsy little paper bib that never quite stays on the seat. I'm not a sitter. Squatting takes a finesse that practically makes going to the bathroom a form of Olympics. And then we have to wipe and wash and preen if the struggle in the stall was good. Men? They go in, whip out, jiggle a little and they're done. You're lucky if they wash their hands. So WHY do men take four times as long sitting on the pot? When I have to poop, I'm in and out with as much pushing and grunting as possible to get the job done quickly. When Hoop goes in he grabs a magazine, his homework, the PSP, and his cell phone. The cell phone is for gaming purposes, not dialing out for help like I first thought. When Hoop finally emerges, 45 minutes to an hour later, I've already forgotten he was in the house. Shit, I've almost forgotten I even had a boyfriend. "Who are you, strange man with a nosehair-curling-stench in your wake? Do I know you?" End.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: If you could have a million dollars or me what would you choose?
Hoop: You, of course.
Tink: You'd give up a MILLION dollars?
Hoop: Yup. What about you? If you could have TWO million dollars or me what would you choose?
Tink: You, of course.
Hoop: *Stares at me*
Tink: *Smiles back*
Hoop: WHY do we get into these conversations?!
Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: What does "BP" stand for?
Co-worker: What's it in reference to?
Tink: Those new "Bowling Pin" shaped bottles.
Tink: Oh crap. Nevermind!
DOT: Another chapter has been added to Twisted Tink. It's called, "TINK DIES." Dun dun duuuuun!
You should know better than to believe me.