Thursday, April 20, 2006

Themeless Thursday

Can you say my title without sounding like you have a lisp?

More Search Terms: All the terms that people put into search engines that somehow or another bring them here.
1. Babyshit brown Are you painting your house?
2. Period Cramps OW Blog You don't need a blog for that. You need Midol.
3. Paws dog fuck knot girl What? No seriously. What does that mean?
4. Bud light real men of genes Screw genius, we just want good genes. Men with extra digits or third nipples need not apply.

Backhanded Compliments: Things Nash's girlfriend said to me over our vacation.
1. Did you just get out of the shower? I couldn't tell if your hair was wet, really shiny, or just greasy.
2. G's wife described you as "really happy." That's why she hates you.
3. I have a hard time finding bathing suits to fit my boobs. Do you have that problem with your ass?
4. Forget exercise. What you need is a really good tape worm.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: What are you watching?
Tink: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Hoop: Oh... What's a "Geisha?"
Tink: They're professional female entertainers. They get dressed up and then they go to tea houses to dance, sing, and serve the men that are there.
Hoop: Kind of like a strip club?
Tink: Um, no.
Hoop: Do they put out?
Tink: Only to their Danna. He's the gentleman that takes care of a Geisha.
Hoop: Oh. Like a Sugar Daddy?
Tink: *Sigh* Go away.

31 Comments:

At 20 April, 2006, Blogger ragingmom said...

Regarding Nash's girlfriend, when does she get out of the hospital?

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger V said...

Well isn't that girlfriend just a lovely one. ick!

I'm sure you were crushed to have to leave her behind, eh?

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

So, I was wondering if you could put Doses of Tink into a story format and have that be a link on your blog. I love this story. It would be fun to read it through. I may have missed a few doses :-)

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Was Nash's girlfriend out on a Day Pass or something? Who *says* stuff like that??

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

I'm laughing out loud at your last conversation with Hoop. And did you really receive those backhanded compliments from Nash's girlfriend on your vacation? Oy!

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

I was wondering if she had more than two teeth left, how many close relatives she had been previously married to, and why she left her FatherBrotherUncleCousinLover to date Nash.

It must be the lack of direct sunlight in those butcracks in the earth they referr to as "Hollers" where they insist on parking thier single-wides.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Wow! I can't believe someone would utter such things!!

Bud light real men of genes -- I guess they missed "Did you mean Bud light real men of genius?" -- definitely a genes there.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

LOL! You guys are great. I couldn't ask for better/funnier blog-buddies.

Nash's GF is a total nut job. Coincidentally someone at the reunion picked up her phone and announced to the rest of the family, "Anyone lose their phone? It has 'Psychiatric Ward' as the wallpaper?" So, my guess is she KNOWS she's crazy.

Newt: Absolutely! I've been trying to figure out how to do it for the last couple of weeks. Anyone have any suggestions?

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

These are great search terms. It always amazes me how people find our blogs.

I never know what to say to people like Nash's girlfriend. Of course, I come up with the perfect statement about 30 minutes afterwards. Sigh.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

To heck with what Nash's girlfriend said to you. I want to know what you said back to her! I hope you got some good zingers in!

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

It sounds like Nash's girlfriend is jealous of you! :o)

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Ok, so obviously we enjoying your conversations with Nash's girlfriend a lot more than you. Just keep laughing at her, I'm sure she's used to it by now.

As far as "Doses of Tink", I guess you could put them on another blog and link to it here and on your profile page.

But, I would think that you would want to copywrite it first. That way you can protect it from people who might want to plagerize your writing. Somebody who is applying for a job with The New York Times or The Washington Post might use it to help him get the job.

Or heck, just put it all together and see if a publishing company will publish it, I don't see why they wouldn't, it's far better than the majority of what they print.

We all expect free copies though.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm, you need a great comeback about her missing brain...

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Arabella: Do you believe Hoop actually PRACTICES for those moments? It's kind of cute. And pathetic. hehe

GG: I didn't zing her... This time. I'll wait till she's back on my turf. Mwahahaha. *cough* ha.

Jay: As strange as it sounds, her comments are amusing to me too. I don't feel threatened. It's kind of fun to be continuously shocked by someone as nutty as her.

How would I go about copywriting it?

"Somebody who is applying for a job with The New York Times or The Washington Post." Pfft. Shut up. Flattery will get you nowhere. OK, that's a lie. It will get you EVERYWHERE. But still.

If I ever get published you have my word that you'll get a free copy.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

1) Create a new entry titled "Twisted Tink" or something (since it wont realy be doses anymore).
2) Change the time to before your first entry.
3) Put a link to it in your sidebar.
4) Copy-paste all the content into the post.
5) Add to the growing story by editing the post.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: Check out the new blog description below my blog title. ;)

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Odd Mix: Great idea! Should I delete the "Doses Of Tink" out of the original posts?

OK, everybody cross your toes and fingers because I'm not exactly blog-savvy. *Runs off to screw things up.*

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

It's harder to get cross at someone who is obviously clueless. She'd probably hate to be pitied. Try that!

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

Go easy on Hoop. I always thought of Geishas as powdery strippers too.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Tink, I love the new description. I think anyone seriously thinking of stealing yoru stuff should be sufficiently scared now.

Sporking someone's face off would really be a great way to work off those frustrations.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Pixie LaRouge said...

*Spork Your Face Off* would be such a great song title...

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Themeless Thurthday? Theriouthly? Thtop it...

#1 - With a five-gallon bucket of prunes, Wagner ain't got nuthin' on me.

#3 - Place the words "dog" and "knot" together and you begin to get the picture.

#4 - I love the Real Men of Genius series. "Here's to you, Mr. non-spelling Google Search Man..."

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I'd be willing to pay for my copy of "Doses of Tink". I'd pay extra for an autographed copy.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Ditto, I'd buy the book! It is a great story. Maybe you should send it to a publisher or three. Couldn't hurt.

 
At 20 April, 2006, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

I had too much fun saying that title out loud WITH a lisp.

Oh, she did NOT say all those things to you and get away with it, did she?

 
At 21 April, 2006, Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

Ha! I'm betting there is a book out there somewhere titled, "Memoirs Of A Sugar Daddy."

 
At 21 April, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Wow, those compliments really trump all.

 
At 21 April, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Hoop is nothing else if consistent. Consistently bringing the conversation DOWN a notch.

Gotta love that Nash's girlfriend. Bitch.

 
At 21 April, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

*koff*wanker*koff*

 
At 21 April, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Ummm, what the hell is WRONG w/ that chick?!?! Who says that kind of thing?! Gawd....

 
At 21 April, 2006, Blogger EE said...

BTW, I love your new avatar. :)

 

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