Marketing is a tricky business. Most of the time it's a hit or miss field with very little room between big successes and big failures. You're successful if you can make people stop, laugh, think, or most importantly remember. You're a failure if you make them want to rake their own ears and eyes out with a plastic spork (or foon if you like). Fortunately we don't have any of those around, because I'd be spork and fooned to death by now.
"Look who we have our Hanes on now!" Are you TRYING to insult me by making the focus a bunch of perfect-bodied female dancers parading around in their underwear? I don't want to look at a close up of some woman's abs. How about throwing a few men in there? Give me something to look at that doesn't make me compare myself to a bowl of jello and some soggy oranges. Unless you are saying that your clothes are magic and will miraculously make me look like your models, I want pictures of normal/average looking women. Women who don't make Hoop turn to me and say, "Can you bend like that?"
How about that radio ad where a man is comparing his fiance to McDonalds in their WEDDING VOWS? I switch the station every time it comes on. How's that for marketing? You caught my attention, now I'm turning you off. Another example is a local radio ad that causes me to have spontaneous Tourettes every time it airs. The main lines are, "Says who? Says YOU." They're repeated over and over again by the same horrible actor. The only deviation from this monotone monologue is when he speaks with "four donut balls in his mouth."
"Is it in you?" Gatorade advertises. Whatever it is that makes people hatch out of sports equipment like fucking dinosaurs I DONT WANT. It's even more disturbing than the commercials of people sweating colored liquid. When I first saw it I thought, "Are they bleeding lime green?!" I'm not saying you should start throwing in ponies and little kids having tea parties here. But for Christ sake, at least make your ads watcher friendly. Like this one... Bud Light Secret Fridge. I'm still laughing.
Search Terms: As promised to Mignon.
(All the terms that people put into search engines that somehow or another bring them here)
1. Receipts for pickled sucker fish
2. Picture of boyfriend wearing a french maid outfit
3. Snoopdogs language
4. Fa Kyu
6. Meredith Gray's lips
7. Kosher Corndog
8. Kick a rapist