Yakety Yak

...Don't talk back. I guess technically you can't. Muwahahaha. I have you right where I want you. Forget that you can leave at any time. That little red X in the right hand corner of the screen is USELESS to you. Forgive me. It's the coffee. It's Friday and I've drank more than my normal ration. Wait! Where are you going? NO! Take your hand off that mouse. Hmmm. I mean, go ahead. You don't want to read what I have written anyway. You wouldn't be interested. WHY are you still reading?! Leave! I don't want you here.



Still here? Ha ha! That's because I have a degree in "Reverse Psychology." Ok, so that was a lie. But I should. It would go right up there next to my degree in "Bullshit."

March Search Terms: Thank you Foo for turning me on to this.
1. my mom used to save beef fat
2. big buckin chicken ringer
3. stinkweed nickname dad
4. awfully big teeth ta have
5. s-shaped poop
6. what is a dumpster guy called?
7. stupid cupid beefs up
8. beef gay bear older

2 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. I wish they could make a bottomless coffee cup. But then it would take an awfully long time for the coffee to reach your mouth. And if they could make a cup bottomless, what would stop them from making something that was person-sized? Although bottomless landfills would be nice. Eventually some sicko would go and make a bottomless cemetery or prison though. People would be outraged. Religions would rebel. The government would make bills against it. But of course they'd use it overseas in warfare. The Black Market would suddenly be filled with illegal "Make Your Own Bottomless Pit At Home" manuscripts. The world would end. And it would all be due to one bottomless coffee cup... Wow, this is a lovely Friday conversation. La la la. Tink is deranged. End

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I love you.
Hoop: I love you the most.
Tink: I love you more.
Hoop: You can't love me more than "the most."
Tink: Yes I can.
Hoop: How?
Tink: Say you were counting sheep. Even though the most sheep you see is ten, it's POSSIBLE that there can be more.
Hoop: Yeah well, I still love you the most.
Tink: *Sigh* You're impossible.
Hoop: I liked that whole counting sheep scenario though. Very nice.
Tink: Yeah, what the hell was up with that? Counting sheep... I must be tired.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Don't forget, we have an appointment with that agent tomorrow to look at houses.
Hoop: Yeah, I know.
Tink: What's wrong? You don't seem that excited.
Hoop: I am. It's just... We're not going to have to buy her lunch or anything are we?

Schoolhouse Talk:
Classmate: I got engaged over Spring Break.
Tink: Really? That's amazing!
Classmate: We'd never even discussed it before.
Tink: So, is he moving in? Are you guys going to start looking for a place. Because I know of this-
Classmate: -You know, I don't really WANT to live together.
Tink: Oh.
...
Tink: So have you guys set a date?
Classmate: Yeah, we're thinking two years. It's going to be a long engagement because I'm leaving to go to an out of state college.
Tink: He's not going to move with you?
Classmate: No. I know he's the one and all. I fell in love with him at first sight. But it's college. I want to be open to the college experience.
Tink: Wow. Well, good luck.
Classmate: It wouldn't be so bad if he'd just put out.
Tink: *Cough* Excuse me?
Classmate: He's a good Christian boy. He doesn't believe in sex before marriage. We've been together for eleven months and haven't left second base.
Tink: And you're going to prolong that TWO years?
Classmate: He's lasted twenty-eight. What's two more?
Tink: ...Well I'm sure you two will be very happy together.

Have a wonderful weekend!