Monday, April 03, 2006

Office Zombie

Urgh. Uggg. Mmmm. Coffee. It's one of those Mondays I'd like nothing more than to take the whole pot back to my desk. But that might attract the attention of the other office zombies. I've managed to sneak below radar so far. Why ruin a good thing?

House Hunting, Take Two:
1. Took a tour of the
"poop" house from last weekend.
2. Mistakenly declared in front of the owners, "See? It's not so bad on the inside."
3. Agreed with Hoop that even if we HAD liked the house, there was no way we could have bought it now.
4. Got scared when our agent said, "I don't know where I'm going, so you're going to have to be my eyes."
5. Looked at a house that came with a miniature pony.
6. Seriously considered asking for the pony and not the house.
7. Rescued Hoop from certain death with a little old lady driving a beat up Camry.
8. So she was only going three miles an hour... I still rescued him damn it.
9. Walked through a house that had over two hundred shelves and seven walk-in closets.
10. Got glared at by another couple looking at it.
11. Made a point to announce, "This is IT!" It wasn't. But it was fun to see the other couple rushing to their car to call their agent.
12. Had fun bashing other real estate agents to our real estate agent.
13. Heard the words, "Rose like a cake" in reference to cleaning out a septic tank.
14. Almost got in a fight with a Subway sandwich worker.
15. Fell in love with a house on the corner of two streets named after flowers. One flower is used for healing wounds, the other as a deadly poison.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I think the only way to live forever is by passing on your genes.
Tink: Is that the ONLY reason you want kids? Because if that's the case you should just donate sperm and save yourself the trouble.
Hoop: No, that's not the ONLY reason.
Hoop: I never thought of that option though.
Tink: You could have hundreds of little Hoops out there.
Hoop: And they PAY you for it.
Tink: Not to mention the good of the cause.
Hoop: So... You'd be OK with me doing that?
Tink: Pfft. Hell no.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Did that older waitress just call that younger waitress "Baby?"
Hoop: Yeah. Weird.
Tink: Do you think they're mother and daughter?
Hoop: Working at the same restaurant?
Tink: We are in Hicksville. Maybe it's the family business?
Hoop: We're at CHILIS.
Tink: Name some other restaurants in Hicksville.
Hoop: ...
Tink: Exactly.
Hoop: Oh my God. You're right! There could be three generations here.
Tink: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Daily Hoop Conversation 3:
Gas Station Attendant: What are you guys up to today?
Hoop: We're planning on doing some yard work. Maybe catch a movie... And then we're going to win the Lotto.
Gas Station Attendant: What a coincidence. Me too!


At 03 April, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

Holy crap! That part about the agent saying "be my eyes" just made me laugh out loud. The only thing worse would be if a cab driver said that to you in a strange city.

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Gosh, if I ever go house hunting again, I want you and Hoop to go along with me. It'll be much more fun!

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Snort! I love the one where you exclaimed "this is IT!"

Always, ALWAYS love the Hoop conversations.

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I was going to say something about clever gas station attendants, then I suddenly remembered you telling me about the time you jumped over a fence by a car wash to look for hobo villages.

That and messing with other neurotic house-hunters makes me wish you lived next door!

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Wordgirl: There are just certain professions that should keep that out of their vocabulary. Pilots would be another one of those. :)

Chris: Gladly. But you'll have to put up with the smell of beef jerky. House hunting makes us go redneck evidently.

EE: People selling their houses should hire me to influence sales. Although I might slip up and say their house is the color of "poop."

Mignon: Ahaha! You remembered that? This lady is the wife of scar-neck, known by Hoop as "Frankenstein."

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

It just blows my mind that the owners are anywhere around when their houses are being shown. When Turtle and I were house hunting—before we made the insane decision to build—the sellers had to vacate before we got there. A couple times, we were looking at a house and thinking no one was there only to step into the garage and find the whole family perched on lawn chairs. They were startled. We were startled.

I felt like the flipping Gestapo walking in on Anne Frank.

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Tige said...

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

I used to make sure I was out when someone came round to view my house. I just felt that I was in the way!

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

You're daily conversations make me laugh.

You look so much like my best friend's daughter. Every time I open up to read your blog, I have to remind myself that you're not Kendra. :o)

You're the cutest thing!

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Wow, some of those house hunting observations made me never want to house hunt. Especially the one about the cake.

At 03 April, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

#9 - that kind of storage space scares me. Did the owners still live there? Did they have half of Sams Club stored at their house? Were they stockpiling canned goods for the nuclear holocaust?

At 03 April, 2006, Blogger eric said...

real estate agents, generally speaking, really make me want to punch them.


At 04 April, 2006, Blogger Jess Riley said...

A miniature pony? I would have totally bought that house just for the pony. :)

Hmmm. I wonder what rose like a cake in the septic tank?

Funny as always!

At 04 April, 2006, Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

Seven walk-in closets.

My kind of house!

At 04 April, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

I answered your question in my post.

I didn't tell you about how Joey and I were the only ones on the dancefloor at a club this past weekend. We planned it all out. We danced all conservative (think Napolean and Tina) then I turned around, bent over, and he started smacking my ass.

We were in Slovenia, they'll never remember us!

At 04 April, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Foo + MrsPao: Exactly! I feel like they're watching me and secretly judging whether I'm good enough to fill their shoes. One woman actually said, "I think the house likes you." Did the house tell you that personally?

Blue Tige: I'm on it girl. :)

Chelle: Aw... ((Hug)) I get told I have twins everywhere. By now I think I'd be one of nine. :)

Miss Jay: You have to do it for the end product. It's totally worth it, if you can manage through the few months of insanity.

TB: I know, right? The house was empty, but you could see imprints on the walls where sun faded the wood between the various knickknacks. I think they were elderly collectors. I mean, old people who collected things not people who collect old people. LOL

Eric: Mine's actually pretty cool, when she's not trying to get us lost or talking about hunting deer.

Jess: Hoop and I are considering calling the guy and putting our names down if the new owners don't want the pony. I have no idea what we'd even DO with it. :)

Sweatpantsmom: There was one in each of the three bedrooms, an extra one in the master bedroom, one in the living room, one in the hall, and one in the garage. It was a little odd.

Robyn: Hehe. I'd expect nothing less!

At 04 April, 2006, Anonymous Amanda B. said...

There was a house that came with a pony?? There is still good in the world!


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