The Accident That Wasn't

The average time to drive from Nashville, Tennessee to home is 11 hours. Last night it took us 16. It all started when I "forgot" to set the alarm for 5am. "But wasn't the extra two hours of sleep lovely?" Since we'd driven straight through on our way up, we made a pact to stop at at least one side attraction along the way back. Unable to find signs for such gems like "The World's Largest Ball Of String" or "An Eight Ton Frying Pan" we settled on Savage Gulf State Park.

We didn't realize it was an hour out of our way.

But it was worth it. After a two mile hike we came across the most beautiful little waterfall. My first waterfall. Hoop and I crawled across rocks, fallen trees and rope bridges to reach the best views. I stood on an oasis of rock over a pool of clear water and thought, "THIS is the definition of peace." Then we had to walk back. By the time we reached the car I was cussing cigarettes, my short legs, and the Twinkie I'd eaten ten minutes before we'd arrived.

Four hours after our detour we were back on the road, still in Tennessee and only two hours from Hoop's family's house. So we cut out most pit-stops and kept the car on cruise control exactly 10 miles over the speed limit. We were only an hour away from home when the bottom of our plans fell out. Did I mention? Hoop's Mom had called two nights before to warn us that she'd had a dream we were being pulled over by a cop with blue lights.

Things That Go "BUMP" In The Night: Hoop had the car set on cruise control at 80. We were slowly passing the line of traffic in the right lane, when suddenly a semi whipped in behind us. The semi sped up, riding our ass in an attempt to get us to move over. Hoop slowed down a bit, trying to get him to back off. None of this would have been so bad... If the semi driver hadn't retaliated by bumping us. After several minutes of this game, Hoop waved his phone out the window as I dialed 911. I frantically talked to the dispatcher as the truck weaved from the now open right lane back into the left lane so that he could ride up and bump us again.

Eventually he got tired of it and decided to pass us. As he passed he flipped us the bird and then swung into our lane 3-4 feet trying to run us off the road. We sped up beside him as the dispatch walked us through what descriptive information she needed. The driver must have realized what we were doing because he exited on the next ramp and called in to the police himself. His complaint? We wouldn't let him pass. Evidently that gives him the right to try and KILL US. The cop took written statements and said we might hear something in a month or two. I love our fucking justice system.

The strangest part of it all happened while Hoop was filling out his statement. I was leaning against the car, staring off in shock at what had just happened. It was then that I noticed the cop lights. Blue, blue, blue, red, white. Blue lights... I told Hoop as we were driving off. He stared at me for a minute and finally said, "Maybe she was seeing it through your eyes huh?" After a minute of silence I leaned over to Hoop. "Do you think she could dream of us winning the Lotto next time?"

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Hey honey, check out that sign on the trail.
Tink: "Stone Door Loop?"
Hoop: No. *Points*
Tink: "Big Creek Rim?"
Hoop: No. *Points*
Tink: What?
Hoop: "Trail Head"
...
Tink: Forget it Hoop.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Why do we have to sign in before we can hike?
Hoop: Maybe they don't expect us to come back out?
Tink: Why do I feel like we're in the sequel of "The Hills Have Eyes?"
Hoop: Well, I think we just figured out why they call it "SAVAGE Gulf."

Tomorrow, more stories of our vacation: "Why NOT to do plumbing while drunk" and "Mishaps with Four-wheelers."