Another Ridiculous Post

Every Easter my little brothers donate the ears off their chocolate bunnies to me. This year I'm thinking about an upgrade.

Somewhere, one of Willy Wonka's midgets is saying, "WHAT? I CANT HEAR YOU!"

5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. If everyone is so damn politically correct nowadays why aren't "Hamburgers" called "Beefburgers?" Why aren't "French Fries" called "Sticks Of Grease?" Shouldn't "Short" be "Vertically Challenged" and "Fat" be "Overly Horizontal?" Also, if they insist on parading around 6 foot, 100 lb, 21 year old applicants through my office shouldn't they change the want-ad from "Sign Maker" to "Shark Bait?" Their resumes say nothing about having a Graphic Art degree, yet they interview them in their private offices like they have a shot at something. There's something a bit disturbing about the fact that every female here under 30 is brunette. WHY didn't someone stop the construction people from putting a water fountain two feet behind my desk? Am I the only person who thought this was weird? The only way this situation would be acceptable is if it's spouting beer. While they're at it I want a pretzel tree and a popcorn maker and a vending machine filled with Twizzlers. Thank you, that is all. End.

GrandpaTV: Hoop's grandfather is going senile. And at 83, we all feel he has a right to be. At Christmas, every gift he gets is the gift that keeps on giving. He'll act just as enthused about it the second, tenth, and twentieth time he sees it as he did the first time you gave it to him. Grandpa always forgets that he's had dessert and will demand we give him another to replace the one that was "stolen." Sometimes he has flashbacks of his days in the military and he'll command us to watch our posts. It's sad and it's humorous all at the same time. People change, and you learn to love the people they become even if it isn't fun.

Last night Nash, Hoop and I were discussing the state their Grandfather was in. Nash had climbed a ladder up to the roof earlier that day to sweep off the leaves and Grandpa had wandered over and stolen the ladder before anyone could stop him. I mentioned that sometimes the old man would wink at me after doing something particularly obnoxious or mischievous. We all started to wonder if some of the lapses were simply put on as a show. Maybe he's having a little fun with his own disability? Would we ever really know?

We joked about putting cameras up in the house to see what he does when no one is looking. We even thought about running the live feeds into a website. "GrandpaTV!" Hoop announced. I don't care if you think we're cruel. I realized last night that if I'm going to live that long, then I too would like to go a little crazy when I'm 80. I hope the grandkids dress me up and take pictures of me. I hope I get to eat dessert anytime I demand it. I wouldn't mind being able to appreciate everything as if it were my first time seeing it. There are worse things than being old and a little senile.


So... These eggs are at a bar?

Pickled Beef will be closed until Tuesday. Hoop and I are taking a road trip up to Tennessee. Don't worry, we'll be armed with plenty of film for roadside moments like, "The Worlds Largest Ball Of Yarn." Have a great weekend!