Cover Your Virgin Ears
Do you know why I love cuss words? They're so damn versatile. There's not many words that can act as noun, expression, adjective AND verb. You can stick "Shit" anywhere and have it make perfect sense. "That shit was awful!" "Shit! We almost hit her car." "I hate her shitty driving." "You've got to be shitting me." The word "Fuck" is even more impressive. You can stick it in the MIDDLE of a word and it'll make sense. "Abso-fucking-lutely." Try that with some other verb. "Abso-jogging-lutely." Yeah... No.
I don't cuss when I'm not at home or out with friends and Hoop. Like kids who have indoor and outdoor voices, I have a PG and a R one. Hoop, on the other hand, needs constant reminding. He seldom thinks about who's in hearing range when he lets loose with a string of obscenities. Which embarrasses him and me to no end when the victims of his ear pollutants are kids. It's something he's working on. Hopefully he'll have it mastered before some angry parent throws a punch at him.
I think cussing is a kind of art too. Unless you're talking to your garden variety Rednecks. In which case cuss words fill up half of their four page dictionary. It takes a certain amount of flair to do it without sounding like an idiot. You can't use the same word too many times. You have to emphasize it at the right spot. And you have to be creative. It also helps if the word your using can't be taken literally. Otherwise you end up with this...
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Lee's parents are horrible pack rats. Their house is nothing but floor to ceiling shelves of collector dolls and figurines.
Hoop: Nash was worse. He had shit on the walls, shit on the shelves, shit overflowing out of his closet, shit on the dressers, and shit poking out from beneath his bed.
Tink: *Bursts into laughter* Ewwww.
Silent Hill: Hoop and I weren't impressed with the plot. But the imagery was brilliant and creepy. Which is kind of funny since the only part I actually jumped at was when one of the main characters tripped over a bucket. Everything in the movie, from the music to the outfits, reminded us of the video game. It was a little hard to get into the movie because of it. We came home itching to dust off the Playstation.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
*Bomb siren goes off in the movie*
Hoop: Level TWO.
*30 minutes later another bomb siren goes off*
Hoop: Level THREE.
Hoop: But Babe, level three's demons are SO much harder! How are we going to survive?
Tink: You are such a Nerd.
More Search Terms:
(All the terms that people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. El bonero Shhh. That is my superhero name!
2. A picture of the inventor of nachos You're going to make a shrine to him aren't you?
3. Lifesize witches As opposed to what? Miniature ones?