Goodbye April
30 Quirks for 30 Days:
1. After I buy books I like to keep them in the bag for a few days.
2. I might pull them out so I can feel or smell them.
3. But then I'll put them back again so I can enjoy them being new for a little longer.
4. I dream of tornados.
5. My Mom dreams of houses.
6. Hoop dreams of tragedy.
7. I have lots of fears.
8. Some are normal, like losing loved ones or the use of my limbs.
9. Some are not, like my fear of going cross-eyed.
10. And my fear of things flying out of the garbage disposal.
11. I took a year of Spanish and I don't even know how to count to 20 in it.
12. I didn't know it five minutes after I left the class either.
13. I used to be fluent in American Sign Language.
14. I had a shot at becoming an interpreter. But I let it go because I thought it would take the joy out of it.
15. That was a pretty stupid decision.
16. I'm trying to get my house ready to sell.
17. I'm also cussing the idiot I was three years ago when I bought it.
18. ...while pulling six dozen stars off my bedroom ceiling.
19. ...and counting the holes in the wall around my dart board.
20. ...and scraping candle wax out of the carpet.
21. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of decorative scheme I was aiming for with old time signs and fairy wings. Bleh.
22. I refuse to make decisions on Friday night.
23. I think Hoop secretly hates my vibrator.
24. Which is fine, because I don't think it likes him either.
25. I think laugh lines are sexy.
26. Hoop falls for scams easily.
27. I scrutinize everything.
28. Sometimes this makes Hoop feel like I'm scrutinizing him instead.
29. Hoop likes to walk in on me while I'm going to the bathroom. It doesn't really bother me.
30. Unless he catches me doing my leg stretches while on the pot.
April Hit Statistics:
1. The leading country for visits on my blog was South Africa.
2. The primary day for hits was Tuesday.
3. The most popular hour being 11 am.
4. The #1 referrer was tied between Random Synaptic Misfire and Newt's Muse.
5. The most used search term was "Rinocerose Cubicle." Is that how it's really spelled or are 27 people that bad at English?
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: What is the dog chewing on?
Tink: Ewwww, it's poop!
Hoop: Why does Duff do that? It's disgusting.
Tink: Maybe he just likes it.
Hoop: Maybe Jazzi isn't letting him eat.
Tink: Poor baby.
Hoop: Look Duff, Jazzi's making you dinner.
Tink: Hot out of the butt.
Hoop: Freshly squeezed.
Tink: Toasty brown.
Hoop: Sausage and gravy.
Tink: *Doubles over laughing*
Hoop: Yeah, it's real funny. But I want you to know, that dog is NEVER licking me again.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: What are you watching?
Tink: A documentary. This woman believes she's a man trapped in a woman's body.
Hoop: What's she doing right now?
Tink: Getting her breasts removed.
Hoop: Well that just PROVES she's not really a man.
Tink: OK... Why?
Hoop: What is the dog chewing on?
Tink: Ewwww, it's poop!
Hoop: Why does Duff do that? It's disgusting.
Tink: Maybe he just likes it.
Hoop: Maybe Jazzi isn't letting him eat.
Tink: Poor baby.
Hoop: Look Duff, Jazzi's making you dinner.
Tink: Hot out of the butt.
Hoop: Freshly squeezed.
Tink: Toasty brown.
Hoop: Sausage and gravy.
Tink: *Doubles over laughing*
Hoop: Yeah, it's real funny. But I want you to know, that dog is NEVER licking me again.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: What are you watching?
Tink: A documentary. This woman believes she's a man trapped in a woman's body.
Hoop: What's she doing right now?
Tink: Getting her breasts removed.
Hoop: Well that just PROVES she's not really a man.
Tink: OK... Why?
Hoop: A man would keep the boobs.
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21 comments
21 Comments:
I wish my walls took all of the dart board's hits - unfortunately, my floor and furniture are also pocked with holes. I really suck.
"...pickin' up good vibrations, they're givin' me exci--"
Oh... sorry. How sad is it when your own brain puts you on hold using a stuck tune? With the Muzak Ray Conniff Singers version, no less.
Bygones.
I think I can explain the "Rinocerose Cubicle" hits. Rinocerose is the name of the band that does that song "Cubicle" being used as the latest hip-and-happening track to sell iPods.
So with you on the house stuff. Have you guys found anything to buy yet?
I also watched that Discovery documentary yesterday about Gender Identity disorder, then I fell asleep and when I woke up again there was a disgusting surgery show about removing large facial tumors. Blech!
I think in convo #2, that was the smartest thing I've ever heard (read?) Hoop say. I've often wondered why they don't make pocket boobs for guys to fondle when they're... oh, wait, that would be balls, huh! Ah-ha! It's all coming together now!
I am completely jealous/impressed that you know/knew ASL. We have a permanent link to an ASL page on this computer and Madeleine figured out how to click on words she can read and watch the little sign language video. It's awesome.
I have a dog that prefers cat poop to all other nourishment. Except peanut butter and cheese though I have yet to actually put this to a test. I guess I could glove up, have a turd in one hand and a lump of cheese in the other.............
There really is no non gross way to test that is there? Hmmmmm
And just yesterday morning I found a book still in the bag, I forgot it was there. Almost better than Christmas. And it did smell good and look so perty when I pulled it out of the bag to see what the hell it was............And then I put it back. I figure in another week or two I'll find it all over again...........
I was learnt Spanish at school for six years and I would struggle to count to ten!
Miss Jay: I suck pretty bad too. Fortunately there wasn't anything else to hit in the room. Although people passing by were always fair targets.
Foo: You need to start an "Ask Foo" column! Try this one on for size... What purpose do Adams-apples serve?
TB: Nothing as of yet. We're looking in four different areas for houses or land. And we're finding a lot of really nice places, just not in our price range. :(
I have a hate/love relationship with that channel. The topics are usually pretty interesting. But they're almost always too graphic for me.
Mignon: "Oh, wait, that would be balls, huh!" No kidding! I can see it all so clearly now.
You should get Madeleine into an ASL class if she's that interested. Kids pick it up so easily and quickly! But you might want to learn too so you know what she's saying. ;)
Newt: "I guess I could glove up, have a turd in one hand and a lump of cheese in the other" LMAO. Oh the visuals I just got! If you try it out be sure to blog those results.
LMAO at Hoop convo #2!
Ok, so you have a big following in South Africa. Have you wondered why you are so popular there?
I get a lot of hits from Canada and I don't know why. Maybe I sould come up wiht a post about hockey just for them?
Hoop's right. Men would never get rid of the breasts. He would then also never leave the house.
Our dogs eat LOTS of horse poop. The vet told us it was ok; lots of "nourishment" he said. Somehow I think the it's ok comment would be tempered a little if he had to smell their breath.
Oh my god, is it true that most of your hits were from South Africans?I am from South Africa, thats weird and fabulous!
How do you know where your hits are comming from and how do I do it too?
Jay: "He would then also never leave the house." That's exactly what he said two minutes later! I have no idea why I have such a following in S. Africa. Maybe I should make a delurking post and ask?
Fa: But at least that's other animal poop. This is their own! I mean... If they shat it out the first time there had to be a reason for it right?
Nanny: Look on my sidebar to the right. Scroll down until you see the green bar chart. Click on that to get the stats link. Foo introduced me to it. It's my new favorite toy. :)
Tink: Dogs eating poop...not THAT strange. My neighbor used to eat their cats poop. It ticked her off, because he'd drag it into the house to eat it and leave lots of "crumbs" behind for her to clean up. Yeah...nutritional, so they say. But either way...GROSS!
Hoop: We say the same thing about not letting the cats lick us. Guess what???
Turtle: "My neighbor used to eat their cats poop." ROFL!! Your NEIGHBOR? Send me the address and I'll donate a bag of spaghetti-os, OK? ;)
You know I'm only kidding Turtle.
Foundcha: God? :)
Garbage disposals TERRIFY me.
I'm very impressed by your having bought a house at such a young age, stars or no stars!
I feel better about my Spanish non-retention. :) I have it on my ipod, in case I need something to keep me awake while driving. I have yet to be that sleepy. Hmm.
Tink asked, "What purpose do Adams-apples serve?"
Safety mechanism for in case you're bar-hopping and mistakenly stagger into a drag bar. Ask Hoop. He'll tell you the same.
Our dog eats poop, too. Rabbit, squirrel, cat, dog...it's all caviar to her.
Good luck with the movifying! :)
Okay, I wasn't so lazy I didn't read your blog, but I didn't read all your comments. So if no one told you--here's how to get wax out of your carpets.
Foundcha: What? No clues?
Arabella: I love having a garbage disposal. But I'll be damned if i reach in to grab anything out. "Oh, a spoon fell down there? We had too many anyway."
And thank you! Somedays I still have trouble believing that it's mine or that I'm really doing this.
Chris: Sometimes I dub Spanish soap operas. :)
Chelle: You should take a refresher course! I'd take it with you if we lived closer. All I remember is the alphabet, the basic phrases, and how to cuss. :)
Foo: LOL! I swear you and Hoop were cut from the same cloth. He pretty much said the same thing.
Jess: *Snort* "Poop Caviar" Can you imagine the marketing for that?
Robyn: You're awesome! I'm going to try that. I've pretty much given up on the carpet picking. I asked Hoop if he thought the house would sell with just concrete floors.
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