Wisdom Stupid Tooth
This morning I went to the dentist to get holes drilled in my head. Yes Hoop, that brings my count up to 9 (not counting earring holes). As I lay there, bemoaning the fact that I was missing birthday brownies at work, I thought:
1. My dentist always stinks of onions. Which is awful considering I'm FORCED to breath through my nose as he stuffs both hands and a bunch of scary instruments into my mouth.
2. Dentists are never as funny as they think they are. Dear Mr. Dentist; I was NOT amused when you started drilling into my teeth only to stop and jokingly announce, "Oops, wrong tooth!" I also don't find it funny that you wait until five minutes after the Novocain has kicked in to ask me questions. Couldn't you please take pity on the girl who has to hook a finger in her disabled cheek so that the other side can function without her droopy lips getting in the way?
3. The person holding the suction tube has all the power.
4. I could never be that person without abusing it. "Let me get that booger for you."
5. Where does all the crap they suck out GO?
6. The dental assistants at this office are idiots. After being questioned about my family ring and then explaining how it's been passed down from mother to daughter, the hygienist turned to me and asked, "Who will YOU give it to?" "My daughter I'm assuming." "Oh? You don't want one of those! They're horrid." I kept wondering if we were talking about the same thing. Surely the conversation had switched to cars or IPods or Nuclear Bombs while they were sticking their massive four inch needle into my gums.
Around The Water Cooler:
Co-worker: Is this your change?
Co-worker: Do you want it?
Co-worker: You'd think someone would have heard it drop.
Tink: Where'd you find it?
Co-worker: In front of the toilet.
Tink: Ewww. You washed it before you handed it to me, right?
The Darwin Of Blogs: I've readjusted the comment settings so that no one will be able to post as "Anonymous" anymore. I'm tired of having to run through and delete a dozen "You've been selected...blahblahblah...tons of cash" posts. If being a secret shopper really paid that well would they need to beg for customers like that? And I'm beginning to suspect they're lying when they continuously tell me I have a "Great blog!" Especially when it's in relation to "medical advice" and "penis enlargements." I have neither, so leave me alone. If anyone has a problem commenting because of this, please email me. Also, I've opened up comments on the new Twisted Tink chapter. Let me know if you see any glaring errors or inconsistencies. Thanks!