Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Cravings

Sometimes house hunting is like being diabetic and wanting candy. I was out from 5 to 9:30 last night looking at four very beautiful houses that were entirely out of my price range. I almost had myself convinced that I could afford them too. I called Mom on the way back. "No Tink. You can't," was all she said. And that's all it took. Suddenly I felt anxious to get home. "What the hell am I doing?" I asked Hoop when he got off of school. "Sure, this house is tiny. Sure, it has no land and no garage. But we're 25 minutes away from the beach and I OWN it. Maybe I'm an idiot. Would you tell me if I were an idiot?"

He said I'm not an idiot.

He also says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, so...

A year ago I knew I was due for a change. Back then it was like rain on the horizon. It was comforting and distant enough not to stress over. But now? Now it's like a lightening storm going off in my head. I feel gullible and volatile all at once. Tell me I can afford a mansion. Tell me I'll have horses and goats and geese. Tell me I can fucking fly and I swear I'll try to believe you. "The mortgage on this house would only be such-n-such a month," my real estate agent says. I look around and see the dogs in the yard and handprints on the walls and our plates on the shelves. What I keep missing is the dollar signs in her eyes.

"Well such-n-such is 75% of my monthly income," I whisper.

And then I forced myself to mentally shut the door on this beautiful dream.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(Through text messages)
Tink: How's your day going?
Hoop: Fine. That's weird. I picked up my phone right when you text because I had a feeling you were going to send one.
Tink: Mwahahaha. My plan for us to join brain waves is almost complete! Now you're STUCK with me.
Hoop: Wow. That's kind of scary babe. You know, you don't really have to go through all that trouble.
Tink: Hmph. Fine. Spoil my master plan.
Hoop: Oh alright. You can keep working on your mad scientist project if it makes you happy.
Tink: It does.

Today's Spam Mail:
Megaton from Rosamund Riddle
Follow Fatuous from Leo Brooks
Silent Wrapper from John Banks

2 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. They say that "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." They also say, "A dog is a man's best friend." So is that why they make jeweled dog collars? I just don't get it. Maybe it's because my dog will gladly wear bandanas, string, underwear, and toilet paper bows around her neck if I let her. She'll also roll around in dirt and dead animals if I don't watch her. And her look is distinctly that of a diseased Gremlin. So... I don't think a fancy collar is going to make that much of a difference. Not to mention I'm too broke to afford my own bling, let alone some for my ugly dog. End.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Ooooh, lingerie.
Tink: We can't afford it.
Hoop: What if you just tried some on, and then we ran back to the car for a quickie?
Tink: Ah ha ha! What is wrong with you?
Hoop: I'm a man. EVERYTHING is wrong with me.
...
Hoop: So?
Tink: No Hoop.

17 Comments:

At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I'm surprised there isn't a Victoria Secret rental outlet, because that's all half that shit is good for. Put it on. Smile alluringly. Or not. Take it off. Screw. It's not like it even gets dirty.

I hate house-hunting when it becomes house-lusting-from-afar. Your agent is doing you a huge disservice if she's showing you stuff out of your price range. Bitch. That's just not nice.

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Oh, I hope you find the perfect house soon. House hunting is a big pain. I hope you never move again, because I cannot handle the stress. I have seen my sister go through that for the last few months.

Love your conversations! There is never a dull moment with you two, is there?

 
At 23 May, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Oh, I know it's hard to look when you already have something in your mind that is perfect. Don't lose faith. You'll find something great. Also Mignon is right, your agent needs to be listening closer to what you are saying regarding price and everything else.
Hang in there.

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Ditch the agent... She is screwing with you. She thinks you are holding back - or maybe not - but she is still trying to sell you more than you have said you could afford. I had an agent do that to me and I fell for it. I was upside down on that house for 5 years and when I sold it I still took a $2000 dolar hit. That mistake is a big factor in why I am still having to rent instead of buy.

You HAVE to have an agent you can trust to look out for YOUR interests. Find one that has benn in the business for like 45 years. They understand that the way to success is referrals and repeats so they are more likely to treat you right.

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

I'm just impressed that you and Hoop have your heads on straight. We see so many people that buy so far beyond their means. Like all the McMansions around town that have the double doors on the second floor and the giant board under the doors where a deck is supposed to go. But they are so broke they can't put a deck on the house. And the house was built 15 years ago.

Not to mention the curtains made from old sheets. And the rooms with no furniture and they just tell visitors :"Well we haven't quite decided what we want to do with the room yet."

Good for you guys. My dad always says that the size of the house doesn't reflect the size of the hearts in it. And his three favorite places in the world are tiny houses. My Aunt and Uncles 5 room house (700 sf of it all), my house with a whopping 1200, and my other A&U whose sq if probably about 1200.

My husband was raised in a home with 4 other siblings, total sq 1300. Total bedrooms, 3. And the whole family loved being in that house. They speak fondly of it to this day.

It's all about the Love Tink, not the square footage or the granite countertops. I think we all wouldn't mind that sort of size and luxury. But in the end you come home to someones, not somethings.

GO TINKINATOR!

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I know a dog that looks like a deceased Gremlin....

LOL!!

Hang in there, girl...house hunting is fun at first but can get really stressful. You guys are in such a great position right now, to be so young and to already own a house -- take your time. It'll be worth it. :)

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger EE said...

House hunting is absolutely 0 fun..

LMAO at the last Hoop convo...such a GUY thing to say! LMAO

(and seriously Tink..do you rig this thing so that I get THE hardest word verification thingys?!?! LOL)

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Be strong and continue to resist the wiles of the real estate agent!

Excellent Hoop conversations!

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mignon: Hoop gets all hot and bothered when I wear granny-panties! Erm. I mean, IF I owned such a horrid thing. $80 lingerie just seems so wasteful. I'm all about hitting the bargain bins at Target. :)

Thank you all for the support! The agent has been great up until this point. I don't understand what's going through her head. Maybe it's a tactic that's worked for her in the past. But it's just pissing me off and making me want to look on my own.

Chelle: Hoop's the funny one. I'm the just the sidekick. ;)

TB: My hope is that you guys have a MUCH easier time of this. I'll gladly take all the crap if you guys can find your home right away.

Odd Mix: The trouble is Florida is SATURATED with agents. If I threw a stone into a crowd I'd have a 99% chance of one. And then of course they'd try to sell me the stone back for 200K.

You rent and still own horses? That's pretty cool! When I rented they didn't even want me to have dogs.

Newt: You always know just what to say. That's your superpower, Newt. You're right, it doesn't matter the size of the house. It's just cutting through all the idealistic crap to understand that again.

Mama T: The dog you posted today totally trumps my dog. Although I'm not sure if that's a good thing. ;)

EE: Mwahahaha. Another evil plot completed.

Chris: I'm trying girl. I swear they all took professional terrorist negotiation classes. That or they traded their hearts for the position.

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Real Estate agents are as bad as car dealers. They always want to try to get you to upgrade. I always think the best thing to do is give them a price range about 15% below your actual top.

That way, when they start showing you higher priced homes, and they will, they might stay in your range. And just refuse to even look at a house out of your range. It's too depressing.

Ever go to Realtor.com? I go there and look at houses and find one that is perfect, then I look at the price. $450,000? Oh, uh .. well, darn.

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Cheryl said...

At least with house hunting on pre-existing homes, you know the final price. Try building! The next thing you know, you've ordered most of your dream home and totally blown the budget. And we spent HOW MUCH????

Rental lingerie would be nice. Hm. Maybe I could start a business on the side.

Whatcha think, Foo?

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I hear ya, Tink. I have mentally redecorated more $4 million houses than I care to admit to.

I'd better get crackin' on that novel...

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger MrsJoseGoldbloom said...

When we were house hunting a couple years ago our agent started off by showing us a house that was 50,000 dollars above our price range. Then the next one was 35,000 above it. I was getting angry, because my husband was trying to figure out how we could get these houses and I knew if we did it would be disasterous. Thank God he listened to reason and we ended up in a great house within our price range...just remember the perfect house is out there somewhere!

 
At 23 May, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

Hee hee. There are some things that really are "guy things". Dave had to be rigorously trained out of suddenly appearing in the bathroom when I was in the shower. I would go "Aaaagh! Get out!" He would say "I was only checking you out!" I would say "OUT!"

 
At 24 May, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I wonder what a dog's best friend is.

 
At 24 May, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Oh, the houses...they do try to get you into them, interest only loans,ARMs and now 50 year mortgages....it isn't worth it to be tied to a payment....you could wait a few more years and frantically try to save for the dream home....

Why run back to the car...that is what dressing rooms are for...

 
At 24 May, 2006, Blogger FA said...

The thing that bothers me about real estate agents is how much they get paid for doing ummm nothing. Making a few phone calls and driving around showing you things you can't afford is not grounds for exorbatant commissions in my book.

 

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