Thursday, June 01, 2006

Ugly Orange Shirt

Last night you might have caught me streaking through the house clutching an orange button-down shirt and laughing like a madwoman. And then you would have noticed the big guy chasing after me and yelling, "Not the fucking trash can!" It all started when I asked Hoop to pack some of his clothes. "You can throw away some of the ones you don't wear while you're at it." But as I packed boxes on the other side of the bed, I noticed Hoop's pile of rejects wasn't growing at all.

Tink: Why aren't you throwing anything away?
Hoop: Well, I'm going to wear them all... eventually.
Tink: No you're not. How about that orange shirt? I've NEVER seen you wear that.
Hoop: That's my favorite shirt!
Tink: They're all your favorite shirts. Besides, it's ugly.
Hoop: *Gasp* It is not! This shirt is Goooorgeous.
Tink: It's orange.
Hoop: So?
Tink: It's ugly.
Hoop: I'm sorry you think so... Because this is the shirt I'm going to wear out from now on.
Tink: Not with me you're not.
Hoop: Fine. I'll find someone else to go out with it in.
Tink: Grrrrr.

And then I grabbed it and ran.

I made it all the way outside before I realized I had no idea what I was going to DO with it. Hoop was two seconds away, barreling through the house like a crazed bull. "Oh shit. WhatdoIdo? WhatdoIdo?" So I threw it over the fence... Right into the dirt. Smooth. Of course Hoop retrieved it. Then he wore it for the rest of the night proclaiming loudly, "I make this shirt look good!" Is the shirt ugly or gorgeous? You decide:

here to save or trash Hoop's shirt.

May Hit Statistics:
1. The leading country for visits on my blog was the US and Canada.
2. The primary day for hits was Tuesday.
3. The most popular hour being 2 pm.
4. The #1 referrer was tied between Mignon and Planet Alien.
5. The most used search term was, "Yodeling in the canyon of love."
6. My favorite search term was, "Bowel movement-jalapenos".

31 Quirks for 31 Days:
1. I'm a compulsive hand washer.
2. But "Jiffy" feet don't bother me at all.
3. I ate dry cat food when I was little.
4. My babysitter told me it was vitamins.
5. I should have known there was no fish shaped Flintstone.
6. I don't think I'll ever have a nice car.
7. My newest car was six years old.
8. My oldest was eighteen.
9. I think that's why I daydream about running into other cars.
10. My nickname at work is, "The Binder Queen."
11. It's better than some of the other people's: Powder, Little Hitler, Porkchop, and Monkey Love.
11. I have a coworker who is pack rat.
12. I've taken advantage of her numerous times while cleaning house.
13. The last batch of freebees I gave her contained a bed net, a fairy statue, four packs of stickers, and an old black and white TV.
14. I forced myself to like coffee.
15. Now I'm addicted. :)
16. Sometimes, I pee in the shower.
17. I throw away socks if I can't find their match.
18. I used to wish I had friends.
19. So I compensated by becoming busy instead.
20. Now I wish I weren't so busy.
21. Other people's grandparents creep me out a little bit.
22. In ninth grade I hooked my ex-boyfriend up with another friend so he would leave me alone.
23. I saw them a couple months ago. They got married last year.
24. My dogs are trained to cage themselves when I spray on perfume.
25. I think cigarettes should be considered a drug.
26. But I'm not sure I believe marijuana is.
27. I'm extremely cautious with my money.
28. Unless I'm spending it on food.
29. I once ran up a credit card on groceries alone.
30. And then I ran up my electric bill by opening and closing the fridge to look at it.
31. A full fridge is like art.


At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

Yech! on the shirt

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

The art of the fridge. You should post pictures.

I broke up (sort of) wit my Ex-girlfriend's roommate to date the girl that my ex was setting me up with and wound up marrying her. My ex and her roommate were both bridesmaids in the wedding.

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I feel for you. Dave has a closet full of fabulous clothes that I love and think look great on him, yet he insists on wearing the same ratty, hole-filled, stained shirts on a regular basis. I convinced him a while ago to donate some of those well-worm items of clothing, and to my surprise he actually did put a bunch of them in a green garbage bag, but I didn't get it donated fast enough and one by one the items of clothing made their way back to Dave's closet.

The orange shirt is butt-ugly -- this coming from someone whose favourite colour is orange.

I pee in the shower too, and I throw out socks if I can't find their mates. I forced myself to try coffee too and now I'm hopelessly addicted. And how do your dogs know to cage themselves when you spray on perfume? Do they know that you're going out and that's where they're going to end up anyway?

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Odd Mix: I think you lost me at "I broke up with my Ex-girlfriend's roommate." LOL. Such a playboy. hehe

Mama T: "How do your dogs know to cage themselves when you spray on perfume? Do they know that you're going out and that's where they're going to end up anyway?"

That's exactly what it is. They get cookies when they're caged so it's probably just their grumbling bellies and not their desire to please. :)

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

That shirt is way better than the hubsters shorts that are white with blue and green stripes. Wide and skinny stripes mind you, not just normal pin stripes.

Ours dogs cage themselves when the hubster makes his coffee in the to-go thermos. It's pretty funny how they know it's time to lock up.

And I've been addicted to coffee since I was a wee one. It's tea I had to force myself to drink and now I like some flavors.

At 01 June, 2006, Anonymous J said...

I'm not sure what's funnier: the fact that I would so totally wear that orange shirt of Hoop's, or the fact that if I ever took it off, my girlfriend would grab it, and I'd have to chase her through the house as well before she reached the garbage disposal.

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Cheryl said...

The really horrid items of Foo's just mysteriously disappear -- some ending up as towels for washing the car, some in the "giveaway" bag for donations, and some just magically go POOF and they're gone never to be seen again.

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

That shirt isn't so bad. It's nicer than most of the shirts I wear. haha

I swear I'm going to title my book "Yodeling in the Canyon of Love" Or at least have a chapter with that title. I'll give you credit of course.

A full fridge is very comforting.

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Mignon is stalking you. I'm jealous. I thought she was stalking me.

My husband has your full fridge syndrome. He also likes a full pantry.

You are a dirty-toed, shower-peer.

At 01 June, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Shirt = BLECH

Thanks for baring your quirks! Hmm... Am I that brave??

Here's one: I hate riding up in the elevator with ANYONE first thing in the morning. If you're trying to catch the elevator at work at 6:28 am, I'm so not holding the door for you...

At 02 June, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

Sorry Hoop, she's right. That shirt is ugly.

At 02 June, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Turtle: The really horrid items of Foo's just mysteriously disappear...

But you told me it was space aliens!! You realize that this means war. All that crap that's sitting in the garage, waiting to scratch my car every time we have to squash the cars into the garage because of a possible hailstorm, is going in the trash.

Tink: I would totally wear that shirt.

And how come you get all the good search terms. Mine are all so—

Oh, wait. I didn't notice the "mono diabolico de jack" one before.

No, I was right the first time. Not interesting.

At 02 June, 2006, Blogger Foo said...


You were streaking through your house?

How retro.

WV: "kbanu". Mr. Reeves' long-lost fraternal twin who was raised in Trinidad-Tobago.

At 02 June, 2006, Blogger pao said...

Hoop, you have to fight for the shirt!

Its your shirt and its your right to keep it and wear it.


At 02 June, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Unfortunately, I cannot comment on the shirt because Hubby threatens to pitch many items in my closet. Of course, I always return the pressure by threatening to throw away his tighty whities with the big whole in the ass that he swears by on weekends because he doesn't even have to pull them down to drop some kids off at the pool :-P

At 05 June, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Good luck with that. Jeff's is purple and blue and I tried yet again to give it to goodwill before we move to Florida and he pulled it out of the bag. This makes about ten times now. Jeff's doesn't even fit him. Boys.


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