Thursday, June 08, 2006

财富

Last night Hoop and I went out to buy lotto tickets. Evidently, he doesn't think my idea of finding the winning one on the ground is very good. As we sat in the trunk of my car:

Hoop: Give me six numbers.
Tink: I already filled out two of those.
Hoop: Well, open that newspaper and look for the horoscopes.
Tink: It's not an Asian paper hon. What we need is a fortune cookie.
Hoop: Yeah, well I-
Tink: What?
Hoop: You're not going to believe this.

And I'll be damned if he didn't just swoop down and pick up a fortune cookie fortune off the ground. Of course we played the numbers. We didn't win. But I think I know which six numbers we'll be playing from now on.

Americanized/Redneck/Spanish/Hindu Japanese Dining: Hoop gets freaked out every time we dine at our local Japanese steak house. I think it's because no one there is Japanese. The last time we went, our waitress was Spanish and didn't speak a lick of English. This time we were seated at a table with three Hindus and a Redneck family. It sounds like the start to a bad joke doesn't it?

The Hindus nodded blankly at everything that was said and got offended when the waitress offered them chopsticks. "No, no. FORK!" The Hindu woman barked, shoving the chopsticks back across the table. The Redneck Mom smiled at me, exposing the gaps in her mouth where teeth had been knocked out. Unless they've started genetically mutating to be born without them. It would save out on a lot of hassle.

Hoop and I delicately picked at our eel and shrimp while the Rednecks to the right dug into steak, medium rare, like homeless people at a free buffet. "There isn't enough food here," the Redneck dad complained, dropping rice down the front of his wife-beater. "Order somethin' else den," replied the son. "It's too expensive!" Snapped the wife. An argument ensued and the Hindus all smiled like we were part of some inside joke. "Check please!" Hoop called out.

"$111," I choked as I read the bill. "That can't be right!" And then I noticed the waitress had charged us for everyone at the table. She apologized and said, "I just thought you were being nice." To which I called her a "Dingbat" and was cheered on loudly by the Redneck family. "You tell 'er sista!" The Redneck Mom shouted, flashing me those pearly whites her busted grill. Being in Florida is like living at the zoo. Only minus the useful cages...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: If I had clone, I'd set her up in different situations to see how I'd react to them.
Hoop: That's kind of cruel. If it was your clone, it would think and act exactly like you do now. How would you feel if you were just someone's experiment?
Tink: Oh... Well, when you put it that way. I'd be like, "Later! I'm starting my own damn life."
Hoop: *Looks offended* You'd just give me up?
Tink: I'd have to give you up! I'd already have you.
Hoop: What?
Tink: I mean, the real me would already have you. But don't worry, if I really missed you I could always come back and kill the real me so I could take her place.
Hoop: That's so sweet babe.

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"Do you think they'd do electrolysis on someone's nuts?"

Tink Quote Of The Day:
"Would killing your clone be considered murder or suicide?"

Daily Hoop Conversation 2
Hoop: I just realized, the dogs are at your Mom's. We don't have to rush home tonight. We can do whatever we want!
Tink: You're right! That's a first.
Hoop: So, what do you want to do?
Tink: You want to walk down town?
Hoop: No. A movie?
Tink: No. Barnes and Nobles?
Hoop: No. Putt-Putt?
Tink: No.
...
Hoop: You just want to go home?
Tink: Yeah.
Hoop: Ok. Me too.
Tink: I miss the dogs.

17 Comments:

At 08 June, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Re: last conversation. You are ready for children.

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger sassybead said...

I see you have the same thoughts I do about cloning yourself, and how you and the clone would think and feel. It's like time travel, thinking of how you could potentially be in two places at the same time, and how your presence could change things!

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

"Being in Florida is like living at the zoo. Only minus the useful cages..." ROFLMAO

And is Hoop seriously considdering having his Manoballs electrolysized. That boy is, ahem... NUTS!

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Geesh. Finally, Blogger's letting me comment!

Mamalujo1: That's sort of what it felt like. I was missing my kids. :)

Sassybead: I know, it's one of those thoughts that's hard to wrap your brain around.

Odd Mix: I've been trying to post on your blog all day. So don't think I'm neglecting you. I don't know if he was considering it or if it was just one of those random (and bizarre) "Hoop" thoughts. Let's hope the latter.

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, wow, am I actually going to get to comment at last?! But, um, what was I going to say?!

Oh yeah - Hoop Convo #1 - fabulous! Hee hee. And I would've loved to have seen that dining crew...

 
At 08 June, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Fucking blogger! I hate you and it's not even my blog template.

Anyway, the comment I've been trying to post all day, which now seems anticlimactic is:

But did you EAT the cookie?

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

I've been trying to comment all day and TB beat me to my comment. *shakes head slowly* *flips blogger off*

Just be glad that those rednecks haven't been cloned. Or have they. They do sound a lot like the ones I saw in Wal-Mart last night. hmmmmmm ....

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Do you think they'd do electrolysis on someone's nuts?

Is Hoop considering a career in porn? :)

 
At 08 June, 2006, Blogger Odd Mix said...

I have officially given Blogger the finger. I have imported my entire site to WordPress, comments and all. I will be posting there from now on.

It was easy, it was clean, it was free, and best of all... it WORKS!!!!

http://oddmix.wordpress.com

 
At 09 June, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Oh me too, let me comment after trying since YESTERDAY FUCKING MORNING...........

what was I even going to say??? LMAO!

Oh yeah, your Japanese steak house is way different than ours (well the price sounded the same, lol), ours is very authentic. Is the food at least good though? That hick chick sounds like a real winner....

 
At 09 June, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

I saw a documentary once about transsexuals, and, yes, they were doing electrolysis on the nuts in preparation for sex-reassignment surgery.

LURVE the restaurant description!

 
At 09 June, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I felt like I was right there dining with you, the Hindus and the Rednecks with the busted up grill. LOL! Sounds, uh...interesting...

I tried to comment yesterday but got the middle finger from Blogger. YES, going to WordPress has been super easy -- you can import your entire blog -- comments, archives and all -- to WP. We're just tweaking my template now; hopefully it will be ready by tonight. :)

 
At 09 June, 2006, Blogger wordgirl said...

That last daily conversation sounds just like us. Hmmm. Does this mean we're boring? You don't sound boring to me.

 
At 09 June, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Your dogs have truly become your children.

Is Hoop wanting to change the twig and giggle-berries? If its a Brazilian on a woman, what would it be on a man?

I love your cages reference and believe it applies fully here in Texas.

 
At 09 June, 2006, Blogger Cheryl said...

"Daily Hoop Conversation 2
Hoop: I just realized, the dogs are at your Mom's. We don't have to rush home tonight. We can do whatever we want!
Tink: You're right! That's a first.
Hoop: So, what do you want to do?
Tink: You want to walk down town?
Hoop: No. A movie?
Tink: No. Barnes and Nobles?
Hoop: No. Putt-Putt?
Tink: No.
...
Hoop: You just want to go home?
Tink: Yeah.
Hoop: Ok. Me too.
Tink: I miss the dogs."

Boy does THAT sound familiar. Only it's the cats. Go ahead Foo and say it...you know you want to!

 
At 11 June, 2006, Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

That is one eerie coincidence, lady. Pass those lottery numbers on to your readers! (We'll all share if we win. Promise.)

 
At 12 June, 2006, Blogger R. Robyn said...

I relate to Hoop Conversation 2. It seems whenever we actually have time, we don't want to do anything.

 

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