财富

Last night Hoop and I went out to buy lotto tickets. Evidently, he doesn't think my idea of finding the winning one on the ground is very good. As we sat in the trunk of my car:

Hoop: Give me six numbers.
Tink: I already filled out two of those.
Hoop: Well, open that newspaper and look for the horoscopes.
Tink: It's not an Asian paper hon. What we need is a fortune cookie.
Hoop: Yeah, well I-
Tink: What?
Hoop: You're not going to believe this.

And I'll be damned if he didn't just swoop down and pick up a fortune cookie fortune off the ground. Of course we played the numbers. We didn't win. But I think I know which six numbers we'll be playing from now on.

Americanized/Redneck/Spanish/Hindu Japanese Dining: Hoop gets freaked out every time we dine at our local Japanese steak house. I think it's because no one there is Japanese. The last time we went, our waitress was Spanish and didn't speak a lick of English. This time we were seated at a table with three Hindus and a Redneck family. It sounds like the start to a bad joke doesn't it?

The Hindus nodded blankly at everything that was said and got offended when the waitress offered them chopsticks. "No, no. FORK!" The Hindu woman barked, shoving the chopsticks back across the table. The Redneck Mom smiled at me, exposing the gaps in her mouth where teeth had been knocked out. Unless they've started genetically mutating to be born without them. It would save out on a lot of hassle.

Hoop and I delicately picked at our eel and shrimp while the Rednecks to the right dug into steak, medium rare, like homeless people at a free buffet. "There isn't enough food here," the Redneck dad complained, dropping rice down the front of his wife-beater. "Order somethin' else den," replied the son. "It's too expensive!" Snapped the wife. An argument ensued and the Hindus all smiled like we were part of some inside joke. "Check please!" Hoop called out.

"$111," I choked as I read the bill. "That can't be right!" And then I noticed the waitress had charged us for everyone at the table. She apologized and said, "I just thought you were being nice." To which I called her a "Dingbat" and was cheered on loudly by the Redneck family. "You tell 'er sista!" The Redneck Mom shouted, flashing me those pearly whites her busted grill. Being in Florida is like living at the zoo. Only minus the useful cages...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: If I had clone, I'd set her up in different situations to see how I'd react to them.
Hoop: That's kind of cruel. If it was your clone, it would think and act exactly like you do now. How would you feel if you were just someone's experiment?
Tink: Oh... Well, when you put it that way. I'd be like, "Later! I'm starting my own damn life."
Hoop: *Looks offended* You'd just give me up?
Tink: I'd have to give you up! I'd already have you.
Hoop: What?
Tink: I mean, the real me would already have you. But don't worry, if I really missed you I could always come back and kill the real me so I could take her place.
Hoop: That's so sweet babe.

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"Do you think they'd do electrolysis on someone's nuts?"

Tink Quote Of The Day:
"Would killing your clone be considered murder or suicide?"

Daily Hoop Conversation 2
Hoop: I just realized, the dogs are at your Mom's. We don't have to rush home tonight. We can do whatever we want!
Tink: You're right! That's a first.
Hoop: So, what do you want to do?
Tink: You want to walk down town?
Hoop: No. A movie?
Tink: No. Barnes and Nobles?
Hoop: No. Putt-Putt?
Tink: No.
...
Hoop: You just want to go home?
Tink: Yeah.
Hoop: Ok. Me too.
Tink: I miss the dogs.