Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Perception

Hoop and I hit up Barnes and Nobles last night in search of some ideas for our upcoming vacation. I suggested we check out the book, "Weird Florida." I'm always game for a road trip. And what better destination than some bizarre natural formation or gaudy side attraction? We found a couple places of interest... Most of them where we live now.

That's right.

Evidently we live in the WEIRDEST part of Florida.

I was about to put the book away when I came across the section for odd grave-markers. This one caught my eye:

Tink: Wow. Check this out.
Hoop: Are you going to make me a monument like that when I die?
Tink: You would want something like that?
Hoop: So would that be considered phallic?
Tink: Phallic? As in, "resembling male genitalia?"
Hoop: Yeah.
Tink: But there isn't a phallus- *Stares at picture*
...
Tink: *Bursts into laughter* That's a DOG babe!
Hoop: What? No, it's a cock.
Tink: See the ears?
Hoop: Squint your eyes and tell me you don't see it. It even has veins!

And he's sort of right. If you scrunch up your eyes a bit and use that dirty imagination of yours, you might just see an angel blessing a huge penis. What a job that would be.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: So I had this idea for a company-
Tink: -I don't want to hear it.
Hoop: Well thanks for the support!
Tink: No, it's not that. It's just... You have a new idea every couple of days and you never follow through with it. And they're really great ideas! I don't want to get my hopes up.
Hoop: I just haven't found the perfect one yet.
Tink: Maybe you should write a book.
Hoop: A book?
Tink: Yeah, an idea book filled with all those ideas you don't use! I'm sure someone would be interested.
Hoop: That's not a bad idea.
...
Hoop: Do you think, "Write an idea book" could be one of the suggestions IN the idea book?

August Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. funny junk- something a perv would do What is... Put a mirror on their shoe?

2. bowflex grandma I know, I don't believe it either.
3. Terrible two I don't know about twos. But I can vouch for twenties.

DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter,
"Going Up!" So click on over and see what's happening now. Don't be afraid... It's only a story.

21 Comments:

At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

My dream career is to be a National Geographic photographer. But my other secret dream is to make a coffee table book of grave headstones. That one would probably make the cover. That is SO cool.

I have to go get some coffee now, it goes so well with a new dose of tink.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

What would the title be for the blesser of cock? Can I say cock here? hahaha.

Um do the idea book. Totally a big seller. Like the ???? guy on TV who yelss at you about gov't grant money.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Katie said...

I like the new chapter! It reminded me of a book Luke just got from the library - Kate and the Beanstalk. I love fairy tales with a twist. Have you read (I'm sure you have) Robin McKinley's versions of Beauty and the Beast? How about "Once Upon a Marigold"? I know lots more from when I taught 6th grade but I can't think of them off the top of my head now.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Phallic? That's too funny. I'm surprised you didn't ask him, "So, are you saying you want something phallic on your tombstone?"

Personally, I saw a dog. But then again, I'm not the type to go and look for all the phallic images in The Little Mermaid either, as I guess some were prone to do.

And Chelle's BIL is an idea guy like that too. He figures since I've started and sold several companies over the year that I would benefit from his ideas. The problem isn't coming up with them. It's actually moving ahead and sticking with it when the last of your supporters bails on you.

Anyway, I've been told I should write a book about all the adventures in doing them. I've thought about it. But not sure anyone would actually read it or care.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

Dadgum it, Tink. Here I am, rolling right along and being a good person today, and you come up with the Phido the Phallic Dong... er... Dog. I didn't see it either, until you made a point of it. But once I did, I also noticed that the angel has rather... em... welcoming posture.

And that's just wrong.

For your penance, you must once more cast your eyes upon the Monkey of Darkness. Disturbing, no?

Serves ya right, you pointer-outer of Rorschachian imagery.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Newt: What a great idea for a coffee table book. You should do it! We have so many cool graveyards where I live. *hint-hint-nudge-nudge* A lot of raised graves/tombs because of the high water table.

Mary: *Gasp* Did you just say COCK on my blog?! LOL. My pick would be Saint Rosy Nuts.

Katie: You read it already? That was so quick! I haven't read any of those books. But I'll try to pick them up since you suggested them. :)

Mike Y: I would read it! And as for Hoop's monument, I'm not sure he wanted it for HIMSELF but rather a ahem... part of himself.

Foo: LMAO! I hope you realize, you only encourage me.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

That's hilarious. As I was reading your converstation I kept scrolling back up the picture. Yup, I see it. LOL

I love old headstones and I love cemetaries. Is that weird? I don't want to be IN one ... just hang out there. Personally, I am opposed to death. LOL

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger FA said...

LOL! I never would have picked up on the dildog. But now that I look at it...maybe that's why the horse is peeking around the angel wings...he's gotta have a glance of one THAT big.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger candy said...

Once I squinted my eyes I saw it too!! Now it is all I see!! How funny! Love the new chapter!!! I can't wait to see what happens!!!

 
At 02 August, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

I swear to god, Hoop and Dave are the same man.

And yeah, I see the penis resembelance.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

The angels all, "Hmm this head's bigger than my head... Uh, all right, just go to heaven - Paris will be up soon, I'm guessing. If you need something to do in the meantime Liberace's hanging around up there somewhere." And now I need to go watch some Sesame Street or something.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Betty said...

If you want to see some cool grave headstones, go to New Orleans. Most of the graves are above ground crypts, but they have some serious "grave art" on them.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

That picture and the resulting conversation made me laugh so hard that the babies pressed against my stomach and gave me a little cramp. Which is no easy feat, because they're each about the size of a sesame seed.

Those dog ears.....who designed that???

 
At 02 August, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

I always wondered if the plastic surgery came with the bowflex.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Hoop has a one track mind, Tink. Get used to it. EVERYTHING IS SEX TO THAT MAN.

What is that dog doing to that angel anyway??? Did you check for a penis on the front of him?

As far as weird road trips, let me know when you head out. My hubby's idea of fun is to find the world's largest ball of twine.

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

You should check out these pictures of The Black Angel at Oakland Cemetery located in Iowa City, Iowa. It gives me the goosebumps every time!

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger EE said...

LOL! Hoop about that statue....TOO funny!

And I LOVE the idea of the "idea book"!

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm. Hoop must have an EXCEPTIONALLY dirty mind.

There's a rock formation behind Mount Rushmore that's called "Pecker Rock" - one guess what it looks EXACTLY like. It's massive and definitely phallic. Perhaps that would be Hoop's preferred vacation location?! I have a horrible photograph of it somewhere, taken in 1991...

 
At 02 August, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Your conversations never cease to amuse me!

 
At 03 August, 2006, Blogger Freakazojd said...

Man, all the good puns are taken...I guess all that's left to say is...Phallelujah! LOL

 
At 03 August, 2006, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

I think you guys should take a Weird Road Trip. Just stop and see all the crazy shit you can.

I didn't notice it was a dog either. I just thought it was a very enthusiastic statue.

 

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