Hoopless In Florida
I missed you guys!
Hoop left seven hours ago, traveling with Nash to Tennessee for a ten day getaway with the guys. Don't mind the pale shade of green I'm turning. I'm sure I'll *sniff* get over it once I get back to work.
1. Saturday night we all went out to celebrate Hoop's 29th birthday in high fashion.
2. In other words, there was lots of booze.
3. We spent a good bit of the night prank calling a number I'd found written on the bathroom wall.
4. I'm not proud. But it WAS funny.
5. And to be fair, poor Timmy from Atlanta should have never announced on his voicemail that he was going to be gone for the week. That only made us think we could call 25 times without repercussion.
6. I pretended to be Tammy, an orgasmaholic with a fetish for disgusting bar restrooms. He's probably never going to erase that message.
7. Monday, Hoop and I packed the car for a two day trip to Orlando.
8. After spending the day at Wet-N-Wild we both agreed on what we wanted to build, should we ever come across a lot of money...
9. ...a lazy river. Preferably around the house like a moat.
10. That night we went to Pleasure Island to sit in at the comedy clubs.
11. For those who've never gone, The Adventures Club (the main one), is interactive.
12. I got selected three times during their bits. One involved the heart-throb character Hathaway Browne, who spent the night trying to "seduce" me away from Hoop.
13. Hoop thought it was all pretty funny until they started clowning on him for drinking girlie drinks. We left soon after.
14. Tuesday, we played at Sea World.
15. My favorite part of the day was when Hoop surprised me with a plate of fish...
16. ...to feed the sea lions of course.
17. But I only fed the blind and disfigured ones, since they looked the least loved.
18. I particularly liked one, who I nicknamed "Popeye," since he couldn't seem to help but smile up at me.
19. I begged Hoop to let me keep him, but he told me it would have to wait until we built the moat.
20. Wednesday was Hoop's official birthday, marked with a cake so overloaded with candles it looked like it was on fire.
21. I gave him a PSP, which seems to have attached itself to his hand like a leech.
22. My hope is that his new toy will be less novel once he's had a Tink-free week to play with it.
23. Uh... Yeah.
24. Thursday we went to Devil's Millhopper in Gainesville.
25. It's a large sinkhole. Also a good place to hide evidence.
26. *Cough* At least I IMAGE it would be.
27. Then we drove to Paynes Prairie, a park that boasts to have wild bison and horses on it.
28. What we saw on the other hand, was a baby armadillo and some deer.
29. At the end of one very long trail we found ourselves in the middle of a swamp. "I don't think bison or horses would graze on this," I said. "Maybe it gets clear further down," Hoop replied.
30. It didn't.
31. One mile and four ruined shoes later, Hoop and I came to a very short observation deck. It showed us...
32. ...more views of the swamp. WONDERFUL.
33. Of course the adventure itself, not to mention the company, made it well worth the wet trek.
34. We made up for the lack of civilization by going to see "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" that night with Nash.
35. It was cute. Totally written by a guy depicting women in the most psychotic light... But cute.
36. Yesterday Hoop, Nash, Big Bit, and I packed a cooler and drove over to one of Florida's many springs.
37. There is nothing better for making you forget your vacation is almost over than drifting on a raft through a spring fed river.
38. Tomorrow is yet another work day, and Hoop isn't here for company, so enjoy the conversations below and help me count down the days until he's back.
Days Til Hoop's Back: 10
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Once the umpires got fired they couldn't find work anywhere else in that profession. So a lot of them had to stoop to working the minor leagues where they literally worked for peanuts.
Hoop: Yeah, cause who would want to hire-
Tink: -You mean, they handed them a big bag of peanuts at the end of the day and said, "Here's your pay, man?"
Hoop: Oh shut up.
Tink: "Hope you have an elephant at home?"
Hoop: You know what I meant. We should probably stop for gas soon. Are you hungry?
Tink: I could eat.
Hoop: Whatcha in the mood for?
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Why do you keep scratching your ear?
Tink: It hurts. Is there something on it?
Hoop: Just a little bump, a pimple or bug bite or something.
Tink: It's probably cancer.
Hoop: Don't say that!
Tink: What if I have ear cancer and they have to remove my ear and I end up looking like Picasso?
Hoop: Then we'll grow you another.
Tink: On a mouse?
Hoop: Do you think that mouse could HEAR out of it?
Tink: I was thinking the same thing!
Hoop Quote Of The Day:
How much do you think we could get for Clydesdale sperm on the black market?
Daily Hoop Conversation 3:
(While leaving message on realtor's voicemail)
Tink: So if you need me to fax it to you, call back and I'll run over to Home Depot-
Hoop: -Home Depot?
Tink: Shoot, Office Max. One of those stupid places. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. Thanks. *Hangs up phone*
Hoop: While we're at it, why don't we stop at Pizza Hut too?
Hoop: Because I need to put air in my tires.
Tink: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Hoop: Or we could just skip it and hit the gas station for some movies before heading home. Although I'd really like to get something to drink at the shoe store.
Tink: I'm never going to hear the end of this am I?
Tink: Serves me right for making fun of you about the peanuts.
Sweet Sea Lion
Kiss and Be Friends
Shamu's "Believe" Show
Is that his raft or his girlfriend?
Big Bit as "The Michelin Man!"