5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. A week ago someone made an offer on our house... for 38 grand less than the asking price, and with the stipulation that we'd pay to tear down a tree and install a pool. No shit. This house thing? It's getting old. At this point I'd be willing to TRADE someone houses. My ad would read, "Are you a redneck? Are you looking to get sun on the rest of your body? Got a cute little place out in the country? Trade houses with me and live 15 minutes from the beach with access to more than just a tractor store." I went to the gas station at lunch and met a woman wearing a dirty sundress with no shoes and a mouth full of holes. You know what my first thought was? Where the hell does SHE live? Because it's starting to dawn at me that all the good lots of land are owned by rednecks, passed down through six generations of mud-bogging, frog-leg-eating, wife-beater-wearing country folk. They decorate their yards with broken down cars and grills made out of old beer kegs and have no idea what they have under that mess they call lawn furniture. That's where all the good land in Florida is hiding. End.
August Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. craziest nonsense insane I hope that means I being nominated officially.
2. reality show hoops is pregnant Is it mine?!
3. "shit out letters" You are one talented mo'fo!
4. "arabella day" It's June 29th. Mark your calendar.
5. hoophoop weird That's probably the name of the kid he's bearing me.
Not Far From The Tree:
(Driving back from a business dinner while on the phone with my Mom)
Tink: So I'll be over tomorrow night after work.
Mom: Great! You know we'd love to have y-
Tink: -Shoot. Hold on Mom, my boss is flashing me.
Tink: With his lights! *Laughing* He's flashing me with his lights.
Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: We went to this beautiful spring on Saturday.
Rep: Were there fish in this spring?
Tink: Uh, I don't know. I didn't see any.
Rep: Because I wouldn't get in if there were fish.
Tink: Oh-kay. Why?
Rep: Fish bite.
Tink: No they don't! They nibble.
Rep: I wont eat fish either.
Tink: Are you really that much of a pussy?
Rep: I figure, if I don't eat them they wont try to eat me.
Days Til Hoop's Back: 9