1. To Jay, who posted a question to the cosmos yesterday and still hasn't gotten an answer. That's Cosmos' way of snubbing me because I dropped her name a few posts ago like an ass-kisser corporate peon. "Cosmos and I? We're like sisters. In fact, you could call me her top executive head receptionist." Head over there and help a guy out won't you?
2. To my dog, Jazzi. Do you know why she's so awesome? Besides the fact that she lets me dress her up in a bra and post pictures of it on the internet... (Wow, does that constitute as puppy porn?) She jumps on trampolines. Her grandparents were circus freaks.
3. To Hoop, who's half a dozen states away on vacation. He's proof that women harness some unknown power that make men feel guilty without the women even saying a word. He text me this morning, worried, asking if he and I were alright. Poor babe. Evidently when I say, "Have fun" it gets translated into "I'm mad at you" by the time it reaches his ear. And, "I love you baby" translates into "Your clothes are going to be in boxes on the lawn when you get home."
4. To the naked guy standing in the doorway of Big Bit's bedroom this morning. Bet that got your attention huh? I stayed at my parents' house last night and woke at 5am to the glowing of a full moon. No, not that kind of moon. The other kind. I could have been dreaming... I guess. But I clearly remember rolling back over and thinking, "Yup, that's a butt" and then going back to sleep like it was just some normal thing.
More August Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. "how to shoot a horse" Crazy rednecks. They finally found me.
2. pooping metaphors Some people are known for knitting. I on the other hand...
3. kinds of pickled beef KINDS? Am I that sheltered?
4. what is pickled beef You're looking at it. Not me... the blog.
5. sexy tink Flattery will get you everywhere!
DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter, "Breaking Ground." I bet you two crisp hundred dollar bills that you think, "What the hell is she on?" when you get done reading it.
After further inspection of my purse I am embarrassed to tell you that I'm fresh out of hundreds. But I have plenty of pocket lint to go around! Now go. Click on over and enjoy.
Days Til Hoop's Back: 8