The Good Stuff
Directly after coming home from work yesterday, things began to get a little hot and heavy between Hoop and I. We lingered in the doorway for a moment exchanging kisses, and then quickly shuffled to the bedroom. As Hoop began to work his fingers through my belt, he uttered two intoxicating words...
"Rarrrr, Muscles!"
Evidently the belt didn't want to come off. And I couldn't stop laughing long enough to help him.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
(As a flying beetle lands on my back)
Tink: Eeeew! Get it off! Get it off!
Hoop: It's gone.
Tink: *Starts laughing*
Hoop: What?
Tink: That was just so... girlie.
Hoop: Well, you ARE a girl.
Tink: Yeah, but I pride myself on not being too girlie. I've always been kind of a tomboy.
Hoop: Face it babe, you're a chick. Guy's don't use phrases like, "Ewwwww!" and "Awwwww!"
Tink: That's true. They use phrases like, "Rarrr, Muscles!"
Hoop: I TOLD you, I have no idea why that came out of my mouth.
Tink: Face it babe, you're a dude. Half the crap that comes out of your mouth isn't going to make sense.
Around The Water Cooler:
Sales Guy: Are you all familiar with wet wipes?
Sales Manager: The stuff they use on babies?
Sales Guy: Yeah! Those things are great for after-shit wiping.
Sales Manager: What?
Sales Guy: My wife left a pack on the back of the toilet one day. I thought, "Why not?" I've never felt so clean after taking a dump.
Sales Manager: Yeah OK. Talk to us again when your asshole falls out.
Sales Guy: My asshole's not going to fall out man.
Sales Manager: Those things are soaked in alcohol.
Sales Guy: I never thought of that before.
...
Second Sales Guy: Well what about the babies then?
Around The Water Cooler 2:
Sales Manager: ...So then I hog-tied him.
Tink: *Walks past* I don't want to know.
Sales Guy: Did he fight much?
Sales Manager: Hell yeah. He bit me in the ass!
Tink: *Pops head out of office*
Sales Manager: But I got him in the end.
Sales Guy: Where is he now?
Sales Manager: In my friend's freezer.
Tink: I feel like I'm working for the mob.
Sales Manager: You want some Tink?
Tink: I just want to pretend I didn't hear this. In case the cops come looking.
Sales Manager: No cop's going to come looking for a missing pig!
Tink: Oh for Christ sake.
MEME-Tastic: One that has been making the rounds quite a bit lately. As usual, I'm late.
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (your first pet and the street that you live on)
Tink: Tye Sandpiper
Hoop: Feather Lombard
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)
Tink: Edie Twix
Hoop: Ray Snickers
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)
Tink: Cela
Hoop: J-Car
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Tink: Blue Otter
Hoop: Black Lion
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Tink: Elaine Sylvania
Hoop: Carl Atlanta
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name)
Tink: Capcrmy
Hoop: Hoojefa
7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, favorite drink)
Tink: The Blue Mudslide
Hoop: The Black White Russian
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first name of both your grandfathers)
Tink: Jim Bob
Hoop: Joe Ray
9. FUTURISTIC NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne and the name brand of your favorite shoes)
Tink: Lucky You Ninewest
Hoop: Cool Water Newbalance
10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: ( mother/father's middle name and the next name you hear on the tv/radio/talk)
Tink: Elaine Shore
Hoop: Carl Morgan
11. STRIPPER NAME: (favorite dance and favorite snack)
Tink: Booty Goldfish
Hoop: Robot Cake
Post-It Note: If you haven't done it yet, don't forget to vote on a new header!
Retro
Pickles and Cows
Tinkatude
Pouty Tink
Copyright© 2005-2008, Pickledbeef.blogspot.com. All rights reserved
14 comments
14 Comments:
"Face it babe, you're a dude. Half the crap that comes out of your mouth isn't going to make sense." If only ALL women understood this.
"Booty Goldfish" ... I'd put dollars in her g-string.
Is it ok to vote twice? Cause I did. haha
Heh, around the water cooler #1 is SO FUNNY. 2nd Sales Guy seems a little more on the ball than your average sales guy...
I voted cows because I'm the teeniest bit scared of them.
Chelle Y: Didya vote?
Jay: *Gasp* You voted TWICE? Jay Idontknowyourlastname. You should be ashamed. ;)
Chris: At least around here he is! LOL.
MrsPao: Way to face your fears girl!
That second water cooler convo has now made me sing "I never eat a pig, cuz a pig is a cop..."
My #7: The Blue IPA, the rescuer of sad beer everywhere.
Ha! and #5: Page Air Force Base
Yeah, SOOOOOO fair to be talk'n about get'n hot and heavy........sigh....only 4 more day.........
I am with Newt. I am sick and can't touch Hubby :-( To quote Zapp Brannigan "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy, and bruised."
Raargh! Muscles! almost made me spit my morning diet coke all over my desk....
Belts are way to constricting...maybe you could convert all your pants with easy-to-get-into elastic. LOL
Those days of sex at the drop of a hat. Such a sweet but DISTANT memory.
I remember impulse sex...I think. I voted, but i've changed my mind. I like the third one.
OMG - I love The Blue Mudslide! I bet you'd be a really messy superhero.
Girl, you is hilarious and so is Hoop. "Rarrrr, Muscles!" was to die for: pure comedic gold, right there. :)
I've had that same meme saved for a "rainy day" so don't worry - you may be late but at least you're not the last one, lol!
Since Jay came clean, I voted twice, too. I voted for the same thing twice, but I voted once for the graphic and once for the name. :)
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