Literally. Metaphorically. Metaphysically. Un-fucking-believably.
1. Friday morning I lay in bed, trying to forget the purpose of my day off.
2. "Today I'm going shopping," I lied.
3. Then Hoop called to say, "
4. To which I replied: (Pick the appropriate answer)
5. "Scared? Pfft. This shit is better than going to Disney World!"
6. "I wasn't until you made me think about it. Thanks babe."
7. Fortunately, the extraction went very smooth. The dentist was in and out of my mouth in less than five minutes. The only mishap was when one of the teeth landed on my tongue and he had to chase it around my mouth for a minute before catching it.
8. "Don't swallow!" He yelled. Which, oddly, I've never heard a guy say before.
9. That night, as I removed the last of the gauze and put away my bag of frozen peas, I beamed at how little pain and swelling I had. My mood quickly darkened though when I saw what Papa Bear was making for dinner...
11. WHO DOES THAT TO THEIR OWN DAUGHTER?
12. So I filled a bowl with as much ice cream as I could fit, and ate it right in front of him.
13. Did I mention? He's diabetic.
14. Saturday morning we all awoke to the news that Central Florida had been devastated by tornadoes.
15. Luckily, we had not been in the line of fire. The areas hit were about 70 miles below us.
16. Thank you to everyone who emailed, commented, or called out of concern. We're OK. My thoughts and wishes go out to the families effected.
17. That said... Hoop would now like to be referred to as "Tornadic Thunda." Strong emphasis on the last "a".
Hoop: That or "Hoop Daddy."
Tink: I don't think so.
18. Sunday morning our Realtor called with news on the house and Monday's closing.
19. She'd gone over to the property for a look-see and noticed that almost none of the repairs from the inspection had been done. When she called the other Realtor he responded...
20. "The seller believes most of the repairs are unnecessary."
21. And then... "We figured she could finish those after the closing."
22. I'm beginning to suspect I have a "Come Screw Me" sign hovering above my head.
23. He also told her, "All that really matters is that WE get paid, right? Are you worried you won't get your money?"
24. The decision to push the closing back to Thursday (the original closing date) was not a difficult one. Or so I thought.
(Caution: Un-funny Rant Starting)
25. This morning everything blew up in my face. By 12 o'clock I was crying in my coffee and frantically dialing the bank, the title company, my home insurance office, my Mom, Hoop, and my Realtor.
26. In better order than what I received it in, here are the facts as of now:
27. If I reschedule the closing I'm going to be fined by both the mortgage company and the title company. The seller is now claiming to have finished all repairs this morning, save for some faulty windows. She wants to cut me a check at closing to pay the contractors who will be working on those Thursday. I still haven't received the confirmation paperwork for the other repairs. My Realtor assures me I will have it before closing, which is rescheduled for tonight at 5:30.
28. At 8 o'clock this morning I told my boss, the home insurance office, the title company, and my bank that closing was moved back to Thursday. A few hours later I had to call and retract that statement. I still haven't gone to the bank to get the cashier's check. Hoop is going to do the final walk-through without me. When I called the title company they went off on my Realtor, claiming she "dropped the ball" and is now trying to "save her own ass."
29. I suddenly feel very alone and vulnerable.
30. My partner, completely naive in all these matters, keeps giving horrible advice. Fed up with the current living situation, he's more concerned with having a home (any home) than having this be a sound and secure deal. His answers of "but at least we'll have a house" are no comfort when some of the issues risk our safety as well as my life savings.
31. Ironically, the worst part of this whole house fiasco has nothing to do with the house and everything to do with Hoop and my relationship. Is love, without support, enough?
32. On a lighter note... Last night Mom and I snuck off to her bedroom to get away from the boys/men who were screaming and throwing things at the TV.
33. We ate soup and watched "The Devil wears Prada" from her laptop.
Tink: *Juggles bowl of soup* I'm afraid I'm going to get something on your bed.
Mom: You found something on my bed?
Tink: No, I said-
Mom: Phew. I was going to ask which side you found it on.
Tink: What did you think I found?
Mom: *Sheepish look*
How did your weekend go?