Monday, February 05, 2007

Stormy Weather

Literally. Metaphorically. Metaphysically. Un-fucking-believably.

Weekend Update:
1. Friday morning I lay in bed, trying to forget the purpose of my day off.
2. "Today I'm going shopping," I lied.
3. Then Hoop called to say, "I love you baby! Everything is going to be OK. Do you want me to bring you home some soup? Are you scared?"
4. To which I replied: (Pick the appropriate answer)
5. "Scared? Pfft. This shit is better than going to Disney World!"
6. "I wasn't until you made me think about it. Thanks babe."
7. Fortunately, the extraction went very smooth. The dentist was in and out of my mouth in less than five minutes. The only mishap was when one of the teeth landed on my tongue and he had to chase it around my mouth for a minute before catching it.
8. "Don't swallow!" He yelled. Which, oddly, I've never heard a guy say before.
9. That night, as I removed the last of the gauze and put away my bag of frozen peas, I beamed at how little pain and swelling I had. My mood quickly darkened though when I saw what Papa Bear was making for dinner...
10. ...steak.
12. So I filled a bowl with as much ice cream as I could fit, and ate it right in front of him.
13. Did I mention? He's diabetic.
14. Saturday morning we all awoke to the news that Central Florida had been devastated by tornadoes.
15. Luckily, we had not been in the line of fire. The areas hit were about 70 miles below us.
16. Thank you to everyone who emailed, commented, or called out of concern. We're OK. My thoughts and wishes go out to the families effected.
17. That said... Hoop would now like to be referred to as "Tornadic Thunda." Strong emphasis on the last "a".
Hoop: That or "Hoop Daddy."
Tink: I don't think so.
18. Sunday morning our Realtor called with news on the house and Monday's closing.
19. She'd gone over to the property for a look-see and noticed that almost none of the repairs from the inspection had been done. When she called the other Realtor he responded...
20. "The seller believes most of the repairs are unnecessary."
21. And then... "We figured she could finish those after the closing."
22. I'm beginning to suspect I have a "Come Screw Me" sign hovering above my head.
23. He also told her, "All that really matters is that WE get paid, right? Are you worried you won't get your money?"
24. The decision to push the closing back to Thursday (the original closing date) was not a difficult one. Or so I thought.

(Caution: Un-funny Rant Starting)

25. This morning everything blew up in my face. By 12 o'clock I was crying in my coffee and frantically dialing the bank, the title company, my home insurance office, my Mom, Hoop, and my Realtor.
26. In better order than what I received it in, here are the facts as of now:
27. If I reschedule the closing I'm going to be fined by both the mortgage company and the title company. The seller is now claiming to have finished all repairs this morning, save for some faulty windows. She wants to cut me a check at closing to pay the contractors who will be working on those Thursday. I still haven't received the confirmation paperwork for the other repairs. My Realtor assures me I will have it before closing, which is rescheduled for tonight at 5:30.
28. At 8 o'clock this morning I told my boss, the home insurance office, the title company, and my bank that closing was moved back to Thursday. A few hours later I had to call and retract that statement. I still haven't gone to the bank to get the cashier's check. Hoop is going to do the final walk-through without me. When I called the title company they went off on my Realtor, claiming she "dropped the ball" and is now trying to "save her own ass."
29. I suddenly feel very alone and vulnerable.
30. My partner, completely naive in all these matters, keeps giving horrible advice. Fed up with the current living situation, he's more concerned with having a home (any home) than having this be a sound and secure deal. His answers of "but at least we'll have a house" are no comfort when some of the issues risk our safety as well as my life savings.
31. Ironically, the worst part of this whole house fiasco has nothing to do with the house and everything to do with Hoop and my relationship. Is love, without support, enough?
(End Rant)

32. On a lighter note... Last night Mom and I snuck off to her bedroom to get away from the boys/men who were screaming and throwing things at the TV.
33. We ate soup and watched "The Devil wears Prada" from her laptop.
Tink: *Juggles bowl of soup* I'm afraid I'm going to get something on your bed.
Mom: You found something on my bed?
Tink: No, I said-
Mom: Phew. I was going to ask which side you found it on.
Tink: What did you think I found?

Mom: *Sheepish look*
Tink: Ewww!

How did your weekend go?

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At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Yikes!! *pats Tink sympathetically*

Hang in there, kiddo. My closing was FUBAR'd too, and everything turned out ok, although it was dicey for a while. My realtor was in Hawaii and dropped the ball about getting someone to do the final walkthrough with me, so I ended up doing the walkthrough with the realtor for the seller. Um, yeah, that was swell...

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Sunshine said...

Is it OK to say I hate your realtor on your behalf??

Also, the don't swallow thing, TOO FUNNY! I've never been told that either. HAHA

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

I think all realtors in Florida should be sent off to Gitmo.

Everything will work out. Somehow it will. Just stay positive.

That conversation you had with your mother is just not one ANYBODY should EVER have with her mother. Ewwwwwww

And I LOL'd at the "don't swallow" line.

At 05 February, 2007, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Oh, Tink.

Take your left hand and place it on your right shoulder. Now do the same with your right hand. Now squeeze. That's me giving you a hug.

I'm so sorry. Hang in there, girl. I wish I was closer so I could take you out for fudge sundaes and many Coronas in a row.

Even when things are blowing up in your face, you're funny. This killed me:

"Don't swallow!" He yelled. Which, oddly, I've never heard a guy say before.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger mjd said...

I am sorry that the moving has gotten complicated. Sheesh. But in all of that, your sense of humor shines through. You always make me laugh.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Probably too late. Seller's money shall be escrowed to insure completion of repairs. Oh maybe even the realtors' commissions too. Sorry, wish I had read sooner.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...


It will work out. I had a realtor who kept blowing things for me. The seller liked me enough that she wanted me to have the house. But she also wanted me to fire my realtor for the several breaches.

In the end it all went through fine.

And I sort of like Hoop Daddy. ;) It has a ring to it.

Glad you guys were okay. I can remember the whole hurricane exercise in Jax with taping up the windows and hoping nothing would happen. I can't recall having the tornadoes when I lived in Orlando, though.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger meno said...

The Mister and have have bought four houses. For two of them there has been some last minute panicked fuck-up at closing.

Not that this will make you feel any better, but i think it's SOP for the banks, title companies amd realtors. What do they care? It's not their house/money.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger graymama said...


I am so sorry the final stretch is bumpy! Too bad you don't live in St, Louis, so my Mother could be your realtor. She is actually quite good at that.

Thinking of you and sending happy house vibes :-)

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Laurasia said...

Glad you're back to feeling somewhat up to par. Hate to hear about your closing situation though. I work for an insurance company and I hear the craziness of those goings-ons on a daily. Not fun.

But like you said, it's YOUR life savings. You'll be kicking yourself in the ass later if it's not how YOU wanted it to be, ya know? Or maybe I'm totally dillusional and too critical and everything'll be fine. Who knows...

Good luck.

At 05 February, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

Tink, I'm so sorry about the house bullshit. Technically, you can sue the sellers since they signed a CONTRACT stating they agreed to your terms and if they aren't done by closing, they are in breach of contract.

But I know that doesn't help right now when you're stressing out about it. If you ever have questions, or just want to talk about this stuff, call me. We've done it so many times now, I feel like a pro. Also you can just call for moral support too.

Hang in there.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Mary said...


I'm sorry chica. Since it's 730pm EST now, I'm sure you already know how things turn out. I hope they turned out in a way that doesn't screw you over. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now.

Eagerly awaiting an update for tomorrow.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger Betty said...

Tink: I'm sorry you're having more stress over the house purchase, but after all you've suffered with it, did you really expect everything to smooth out and work perfectly on this last day? That's when they always get ya! One last trauma, just for good measure. Still, I hope it worked out well, and you are now the proud owner.

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Aw man, I hope it all worked out ok Tink. Glad your dental surgery went well.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!

At 05 February, 2007, Blogger EE said...

Oh wow (((((TINK))))

Can you NOT catch a break in this thing?!?!?! My god chickadee......

I'm glad you are ok though. Both due to the teeth and the weather.

Oh. And the "DON'T SWALLOW!" thing cracked my ass up. LMAO!

*hugs*'s almost over.

At 06 February, 2007, Anonymous Michelle said...

WOW. Suddenly the teeth thing sounds so innocuous and not-such-a-big-deal. Love the ice cream idea! You devil.

House situation: it sucks, yes? And while I do believe you've got a good partner in Hoop, sometimes, love isn't enough. If he can't provide the support you need in this crisis, is there someone who can? (not suggesting you get another relationship, of course! merely suggesting you find someone of sound mind to help you out!)

At 06 February, 2007, Anonymous Patsy said...

Tink, Im sorry that you are having such a bad time with your poor mouth, and now the house thing. One way or the other you will get through this thing. Too bad it all had to come down at once. Just remember that after the rain the sun comes out.

At 06 February, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

Tink, I'm so sorry to hear about the latest real estate hassles. The stuff the seller (and, apparently, the seller's realtor) is trying to pull is exactly the reason I was so glad Turtle and I found an excellent realtor. We built, this time, but whenever there was some sort of shady hedging about delivery dates (which, as you know, have the potential to impact the buyer's loan and interest rate contracts), we just stated our position and sicced Shirley on 'em.

Sounds like you're on top of things, though, and I have every confidence that it's all going to end well for you. I'm also glad to hear your tooth extractions weren't as traumatic as you'd feared.

I could say "I told you so", but as a married man, I've learnt not to do such things.

At 06 February, 2007, Blogger J-Funk said...

I know it's wrong to say "you can change him!" but in my experience when it comes to things women need that men don't understand, a good "I-need-this-or-we're-breaking-up" can really do wonders. Or the less threatening "is-there-any-way-I-can-get-this?" may help in the short term. Regardless, I'm sure it'll get a lot better once you close (which is so soon!) and get everything dealth with. What an ordeal!

At 09 February, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

I'm sorry I've only just been able to drop in. Shall we get a pact together to rid the world of uncooperative vendors and shady estate agents? HUG


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