Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Every Prom Has A Queen

I wasn't it. But my date fancied herself as one.

She even bought a tiara for the occasion.

(In honor of Sunshine's Blog Prom. Here is a story back from 2001.)

Her name was KG. You might remember her from a previous
post. Having dropped out of school during her Freshman year, KG never got the chance to go to a prom. When my Senior one came up, she not-so-subtly hinted that she wanted to go. So I invited her. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe that we could do each other's hair and makeup? She wasn't that kind of friend. The moment I invited her, it stopped being our prom and started being hers. She even referred to it as such. "Do you like the shoes I bought for my prom?" She asked one day, flashing me the $50 glass pumps her Dad had just bought her. "They match your dress," I replied moodily.

Her dress was the same one she'd worn for her wedding. It was hand beaded and had cost her parents a small fortune. Which was OK, since the dress got more use than the marriage did. "What do you think of this necklace?" Her husband asked while tossing a small gold box at me. "It's beautiful!" I gushed, staring at the small diamond pendant inside. "Anniversary gift?" "No, it's for KG's prom. She's really excited about it." I wanted to hand him my ticket and beg him to go in my place. But seeing as I was the legitimate student, I couldn't back out of my promise. Soon enough, the big night arrived. KG's parents took a dozen pictures and her husband kissed her good-bye. The situation was beyond weird.

Once we arrived, KG ran around greeting people. Most didn't even remember who she was. "I'm KG, remember?" I overheard her asking the class president. "I dropped out my Freshman year. But now I'm married and working on my GED!" She spoke with such pride. I quietly wandered off to explore the other side of the room. Randomly throughout the night, KG came back to check on me. Each time she stopped by she looked more and more upset. "This isn't as fun as I thought it would be," she pouted two hours after we'd arrived. Seeing an opening, I suggested we leave. It wasn't until we were driving home that I saw the humor in the situation.

I watched KG as she flicked ashes out the car window and rattled on about how pathetic everyone had become. She'd tried SO desperately to dress herself up. She had the white dress, the glass shoes, the sparkly jewels, and even the tiny tiara. But none of those things could disguise her unpretty life. I never believed in prom. I wanted to. All that hype about "one magical night" appealed to me. I loved the idea of someone asking me to go with them officially, to enmesh myself in the ritual of dress and ceremony. When I was younger I thought, "How adult it must feel. How important!" But it never really did. It always felt like I was trying to play pretend. Which is fitting, in a way.

April Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. pictures of hoop's pussy
I think you're a bit confused.
2. roller-coasters after recovering from brain surgery?
The first image that came to mind was scrambled eggs. So I'm going to say no.
3. my vibrator has two wheels A cure for road rage!
4. naked pictures of hoop's tits Only if you provide the beads.
5. using superglue to stick the labia to the leg
Maybe it was flapping in the breeze?
6. fart tink Never on command.

Tomorrow: WWC Pictures!
Thursday: Good-bye April

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At 01 May, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

I didn't attend any of my high school proms. I was way too cool for that. And I'm pretty sure I didn't miss anything.

You get the strangest search terms. I mean really strange. LOL

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger mjd said...

Oh Tink, what a bittersweet memory. What you did for KG was so sweet. I am sorry that the prom did not turn out as hoped.

Speaking of the prom would you take my husband, Daddy D, to Sunshine's blog prom? Sunshine said that we needed a date. I do not have a real picture of me at the prom so I want to send my husband. I promise that he will behave. Of course, unless the Josh Holloway thing worked out, then Daddy D could chaperone...Pleeease
Thanks MJD

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Awwww you were sweet to do that. My prom date was cute. Two years later he was freak'n HOT. I So shoulda stayed in contact with him. At least till the hubster came along :-)

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: You didn't miss anything. REALLY. The best thing about the whole affair was leaving it. Oh, and the really awesome candle I got in the gift bag on the way out. *Eye roll*

MJD: It would have been an honor to take your husband! But I think Mamalujo has agreed to be my date. You should go anyway. Who cares about the photo? I'll photoshop you one if you're really worried about it. ;)

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

I also never attended my prom and wished I could go for much the same reasons you site - the idea of the dressing up and the magical night thing. From what I hear from everyone I know that went I get the same message - it wasn't anything like that and you didn't miss anything. But I have a sneaking suspicion that most of us who didn't go still have that nagging wonder in the back of our heads - perhaps its the nature of the beast. But you know, I'd have to say my wedding was a great dress up magical night - but mainly because it was a super great party with all my friends. Listen to me going on and on...

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger geenalyn said...

what you did for KG was great, but seriously prom is soooo not all its cracked up to be. I did go to mine, dateless, even had my prom picture taken to show i didn't care that i was there on my own. I got to dance with whoever i wanted to...hang with all my friends and not worry about some guys feelings. The best part of the night though, the after prom breakfast held back at the school...much more fun

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger meno said...

I wonder if anyone ever enjoyed their prom(s). I never went to any. I was just not interested. All the hype and expense and fussing and planning.

It was sweet of you to invite your friend though. Although she found out that it's not all that great in the process.

At 01 May, 2007, Anonymous gawilli said...

It's been awhile since prom for me, but I do not remember it being all so great the first time around. I did check out the plans for Prom 2007 and it looks like fun, though I think I will pass. At least you had the right idea with KG and that's a good thing. Sometimes things are much better in our minds than they turn out in real life. At least for me anyway.

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

You're my prOn... i mean Prom queen Tink.

Why was there no knight in shining tuxedo cloth for you that night?

At 01 May, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

That was a great prom story. A little surreal, but really great. I didn't go to mine--way, way, way too shy in school and pretty much kept to myself.

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger Betty said...

How sad for your friend. But, those things always seem to turn out that way.

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

Aw, I may be the only one, but I had fun at mine. But my friends and I had fun wherever we went.

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

I never went to my prom, or any prom, for that matter. Me and some friends took some mickeys of Southern Comfort to the beach and had a bonfire and drank until the sun came up. Much more fun. :)

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

I feel better about not going to prom. Oh, wait, I dropped out of high school, so it wasn't an option anyway!

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Chris: Did you know they say 10th-12 grade is pointless? By 9th grade you've learned everything the public school system has to offer. Unless you're going to college, which requires a form of high school graduation. Kind of screwed up huh?

Mama T: I wish I would have spent my prom that way instead! Maybe Hoop and I will recreate it some night. Want to come?

Jay: I can't see anything NOT being fun around you. :)

Betty + Meno: If it makes it any better, I hear she's doing OK for herself now. She's married (again), has a son, and is a manager at some jewelry boutique. Some people have to take the harder path I guess.

Kell: I think my whole life (to a point) has been surreal. I must attract it. Hence Hoop. ;)

Pamer: I'd rather be a warrior princess. RAH!

Gawilli: Well if Hoop and I decide to have a re-prom on the beach some night I'm inviting you, Mama T, Jay, Kell, and whoever else shows up with Run. OK? We'll get toasty and look for dolphins.

Geenalyn: Going stag is totally the way to do it. That way all you have to concentrate on is having a good time. We should write a book for all these new high schoolers.

Maggie: You can blow up my comment any time!

BTE You guys can check out the picture that accompanies this story on May 7th at Sunshine's blog!

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger J-Funk said...

Happy blog prom! That was nice of you to invite KG to your HS prom. You're very sweet! Your description of her motives sounded a bit like our HS reunion.

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

It was so kind of you to invite KG to your prom.

The fact that she hijacked it and made it HER prom says a lot about her. I'm never surprised when women like that have gone through more than one marriage. You really do have to stop thinking about yourself for five minutes if you want a relationship to have a chance.

You get much more interesting searches than I do. I always get "prize winning carrot cake" I may have to start talking about tits to get the fun searches to point to my blog.

At 02 May, 2007, Blogger butterfly girl said...

I didn't get prom either. I never went to one but sometimes I wonder if I missed out. Guess I didn't!

I'd say that story was pretty fucked up! *L*

At 03 May, 2007, Blogger Edge said...

How amazingly odd/funny/wild.


At 13 May, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

It makes you feel a bit sorry for her because she must have been building up for years to be completely disappointed.


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