Friday, August 31, 2007

Modern Day Prince

I may hate our house. But I do love my other half. Hoop and I attended a dinner last night at one of the most fancy restaurants in town. His regional manager was buying and all of Hoop's coworkers were guaranteed to attend. The significance of such a dinner was not lost on me. So I dug through my limited wardrobe for something nice to wear and came up with...


Actually, I found a badly rumpled skirt and about five long sleeve blouses. LONG SLEEVE blouses. I'd like to say that they originated from a time when I didn't live in Florida. But I can't. I moved here eleven years ago. "I'm not going," I told Hoop. "Why? You look gorgeous!" He said, eyeing the clothes I'd thrown on for work. "I look like I work at Walmart!"

When I started with this company they requested all office personnel wear casual dress clothes. It didn't take long for me to realize that they meant anything not made out of jeans or bearing another company's logo. The few times I've worn a skirt, everyone panics and assumes I have a job interview. So over the years my clothes have dwindled down to a few nice dress pants and a bunch of solid colored t-shirts from Target.

One t-shirt wears out, I buy another. It's easy and there's no need for color coordination. Everything goes with black, brown, tan, or white. I didn't start buying bright colored t-shirts until someone asked me if I was going to a funeral, and I wasn't. The outfit I was wearing yesterday was a pair of chewed up black boots, a pair of nice gray slacks, and a blue shirt with faint bleach stains on it.

I was mortified at the thought of showing up to the fancy dinner dressed that way. "We'll figure something out," Hoop said before leaving. I knew "figure it out" meant me having to spend my lunch knee deep in the Outlet sale racks. So it came as a surprise when Hoop called at lunch to ask my shoe size. "I found the most gorgeous dress! You're going to love it," he said. "I think they have shoes that will match."

Any scepticism I might have had was diminished by the elation I felt at having Hoop take up the cause. I knew in that moment that I was going to wear whatever he bought, no matter what it looked like, proudly and without hesitation. "You're buying shoes too?" "They have a pair that match it perfectly." "But what if they don't fit?" "I'll buy two sizes and take back the one that doesn't work."

Beaming, I ran off to get some nail polish and gloat to anyone who would listen. Two hours later, Hoop called back. "The girls at work say it's not a dress." "It's not a dress?" "No, they say it's a shirt and now I'm worried that it's going to be too short." I had to laugh. The ladies Hoop work with are quite a bit bigger than me. "It'll be fine." Hoop hung up feeling reassured. I hung up hoping I was right.

At 5:30 I started to worry. Hoop and I had agreed to meet halfway between his work and mine at a truck stop. If the dress ended up being too short, I was out of luck. When Hoop pulled up he looked anxious. "Here you go," he said, handing me the bag. The dress (it WAS a dress) was beautiful. "Do you like it?" "I love it!" Bag in hand, I rushed to the bathroom to change.

Not wanting to walk barefoot in a public restroom, I waited until we got back to the car to switch shoes. As I exited the stall wearing the beautiful dress, black combat boots and white socks, a woman stopped to admire. "That's an... interesting outfit." She was obviously jealous. Not everyone can pull off a G.I. Jane combo. Hoop glowed as I rounded the corner. I never thought it possible, but I think I loved Hoop even more in that moment.

The dinner went really well. We ate a gross amount of food and thoroughly enjoyed the company and good conversations. After dinner, Hoop dropped me off at the truck stop to pick up my car. I'm sure that was a sight. A woman exiting a man's car at a truck stop wearing really nice clothes? Hm. I didn't really think about it until several loitering truckers turned to stare. I could practically hear the tongue wagging.

Fortunately, my shoes weren't of the appropriate "Come Fuck Me" height, so no one bothered me on the short walk to the car. Having worked with truckers, I'm familiar with the term "Lot Lizard." Truckers are also good for jokes. Especially jokes involving blondes or Michael Jackson. How do you know it's bedtime at Neverland Ranch? When the big hand touches the little hand. Ha ha ha. *Groan*

After picking up my car we drove to the grocery store. Hoop's office is having a pot luck tomorrow and he was put in charge of dessert. As we pulled into the parking lot I realized I hadn't taken any pictures at dinner. Even worse, no one had taken a picture of Hoop and I all dolled up. So I stopped the nearest couple leaving the store. "Could you please take a picture of us?" The woman looked absolutely confused.

"Picture?" "Yeah. We just left a fancy party and I realized no one took a picture of us in our nice clothes." "You want a picture?" I nodded and handed her the camera. "You want a picture in front of the grocery store?!" Apparently she wasn't getting the question. I had asked if she would mind taking a picture, NOT if she approved of the idea. She finally took one. "Thanks!" I yelled as she quickly fled from me.

It was then that I noticed she'd taken a picture of our heads. Fortunately, I was able to find another person who understood my instructions. They were no less confused, mind you, but at least they didn't ask too many questions. So here you have it, a picture of Hoop and I all dressed up. Don't you love my outfit? Hoop did so well! I think I'm going to have him pick out ALL my clothes. How's that sound, Hoop?

Have a great three day weekend! I'll see you guys on Tuesday.



At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Mary said...

beautiful! you both look so nice--good job Hoop at picking clothes, and good job tink at being hawt.

have a good weekend!

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Mamalujo said...

{wolf whistle}

(Not you Hoop)

At 31 August, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He totally deserves sexual favors now.

I think this is the first time I've seen the two of you together. Nice couple and even your clothes match.


At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

You both look great, but Tink you look especially beautiful.

Well done on the dress choice Hoop! My husband would never do that in a million years. Him buying a dress AND shoes for me unbidden would be after the next ice age.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

Wow! You look really nice Tink! I'm glad you didn't get mugged in the truck stop parking lot!!!

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

I gotta give some credit to Hoop here. He did pretty damn good. Buying clothes AND shoes for a woman is pretty risky. But he pulled it off nicely.

You guys both look terrific.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger J said...

You look gorgeous, Tink. And Hoop is my new hero.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Mouse said...

That's a great outfit! Though I'm sure that I couldn't rely on him to actually pick the correct size, my husband has pretty good taste in clothing and shoes. I think I could probably trust him to buy me an outfit but I doubt he ever would. The closest thing he came to that was buying me a teeshirt while in Florida that said "I'm stabbing you with my mind" for my PMS days.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Betty said...

Hoop found you a great outfit, and you look great init!

When I was pregnant, DJ and a friend of his had to be in Springfield for a day, and came home with a bunch of maternity clothes for me to try on. They said I could keep anything I wanted and they wound take the rest back. So, I know how you feel about Hoop's choice.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger meno said...

My God! A man picked out a dress AND shoes and they fit and they look fabulous? Hell, i can't even do that.

Keep that man, i don't even care if he can cook.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Damn it tink - you would show a picture of you two all HOT the very day my horny-meter is off the fluckin charts...

Rawr baby, RAWR.

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Cindi said...

Wow! Hoop did a fantastic job picking out a dress AND shoes! You both look so nice and match too! I can't figure out why those women at his work would think that was a shirt.

I agree with the better keep that fella. He's a keeper!

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

*pant pant pant*

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Allison said...

Holy SHIT, Tink! Look at you! LOL! I must say, even the fact that you can pull that dress off makes me jealous. If I tried to wear that, you'd see my big ass sticking out the back and my beer gut bulging in the front. [sigh]

And um, I would've broken my neck in those shoes. If they don't strap around my ankle somehow, I'm fucked. LOL!

Hoop did awesome! You look fantastic!

(And Hoop, you're all hot and stuff too.)

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Terri said...

very cool; I don't remember the last time hubs bought me anything along the clothing line and NEVER any shoes (gotta say I'm a little picky there). Hoop - props to you buddy and Tink - glad to finally see a pic of the two of you instead of just Hoop (although he's nice enough to look at!).

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger MoJoKat said...

I'm visiting from Slice of Life, and have been reading the Twisted Tink story, I just wanted to say it is awesome. Also, I read this entry and WOW! Hoop hooked you up! You both look dashing!

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story...hope you don't mind drop ins! =-)

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

*pant pant pant*

At 31 August, 2007, Blogger Moi said...

Hoe. Lee. Cow. He did a fanTAStic job!

At 01 September, 2007, Anonymous susan said...

I am in AWE!! Both because you guys look so hot and because of Hoop's amazing talent.

At 01 September, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...

That's so awesome, Tink! I'm excited for you. He did a great job.

At 01 September, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll pay him to come give me a make over. Although I wouldn't look as fabulous in that dress as you did!! Kudos to Hoop for staying for the picture, my hubby would have run to the car. He doesn't like strangers much.


At 02 September, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

"I found the most gorgeous dress! You're going to love it," he said. "I think they have shoes that will match."

When a guy can say that to you and you don't think he's a) gay or b) putting you on, it's TRUE LOVE. Hoop, you're a god. On those rare occasions when I've tried to buy clothes for a woman, I invariably get the wrong size or style, and the whole thing is an exercise in frustration for both of us.

But you, my friend, did awesome. Tink in her new dress (and shoes!) is--and I say this with as much detachment as I can muster--totally hot.

P.S. - Tink, the thought of some fat woman wearing that, even as a shirt... well, it's just too horrible to contemplate.

At 02 September, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

I am so impressed, Hoop! The dress is AWESOME! I'm totally killing myself laughing that the girls he works with thought it was a shirt. *snort*

You look beautiful, Tink. NICE JOB, Hoop. You clean up nicely, too.

At 02 September, 2007, Blogger EE said...

OMG....He did awesome!!!

*major brownie points for Hoop*

You guys looked so great! The whole time I was reading that I was holding my breath waiting... but yay!!!


At 02 September, 2007, Blogger amusing said...

I totally relate to the having no clothes problem. (And i hate shopping, so the problem will not be remedied anytime soon. Unless I can borrow Hoop.)

You look fabulous in your fancy "shirt" (giggle). Are his crossed arms his way of saying "Yeah, I picked out that awesome outfit. Bow before me you lowly photographer in front of the supermarket"?

Glad you guys had a blast.

At 02 September, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

That's a nice, happy story! Good job Hoop - I love the dress and especially the shoes. You both look smashing. :)

At 02 September, 2007, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

You both look lovely. Hoop did a great job!

At 03 September, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

T-shirt? ? ? Pffft. . . It's fabulousness on a hanger!

It's beautiful and you're beautiful; together you're stunning!

Hoop: I don't have the words, man! You ARE a knight in shiny, shiny armor. Also, I'd like to note, you are also a good sport at the grocery.

Tink: that is totally something I would do to the husband myself (stop a complete stranger to take our photo). At the grocery.

Awesome! Just awesome!

At 03 September, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

He's a keeper! Wow! You guys look awesome and that dress is to die for, and so are the shoes! Shoes! Damn.

At 03 September, 2007, Blogger mjd said...

I think that I love Hoop too. Your story is wonderful, and the dress and shoes are divine. Not only is Hoop a keeper, but he has good taste too.

At 03 September, 2007, Blogger Alex said...

I love this story, start to finish.

Also, y'all look simply smashing. Hoop done good.

At 03 September, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

Ahem. That dress on you could make a straight woman question her affinity for men.

Did I say that out loud?

Superb job Hoop!
You look fabulous Tink.

At 03 September, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Hoop, personal shopper. Good job! And you guys look utterly fabulous together!

At 04 September, 2007, Blogger Arabella said...

You look gorgeous! Hoop has great taste! Of course, we already knew that. :)

At 04 September, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Wow, fantastic dress. I'm beyond impressed. And the shoes, wow, wow, He did such a good job. You both look incredible.

At 08 September, 2007, Blogger CRUSTYBEEF said...

I LOVE THAT DRESS! YOu guys matched perfectly!!
VEry very cool...I'm going to to show my husband that it is possible for men to shop for women! :)

At 09 September, 2007, Blogger Nettie said...

AAAAWWWWWW.....that is the sweetest thing ever! I was all choked up. I will tell you this much...that would be a shirt on me. You looked beautiful and big kudos for Hoop, what a guy.


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