Mishmash
Daily Hoop Conversations:
(Yesterday on the phone)
Hoop: Have you left work yet?
Tink: Nope. I'm sitting in the parking lot trying to get situated.
*Random chit chat*
Tink: Ugh! *Grumble grumble*
Hoop: What's wrong with you?
Tink: I'm trying to find my phone so I can plug it in to charge while I drive. I think I left it inside.
Hoop: Babe...
Tink: ...Oh my God. I'm such an idiot.
(Today through text messages at work)
Hoop: My car kept making a loud thumping noise this morning. It sounded like something was seriously wrong. When I got out to look, my belt was only halfway on and hanging out the door.
Tink: Teach you not to wear your seatbelt! See, I nag because I know.
Hoop: Not my seatbelt, my fat belt.
Tink: Lmao. Like the belt you wear around your waist? How in the hell?!
Hoop: Yeah. I didn't have time to put it all the way on.
Tink: THIS is why I love you.
Random Thoughts:
Instant Gratification
There are so few instant gratifications in life. Almost everything requires some labor in order to reap the rewards for it. Even sex and that fabulous "O" ride. There's a certain amount of prep work involved in making sure we get the most out of the situation. Pooping always seemed relatively instant. But then you start thinking of the amount of pushing and positioning that is required. Come on. You know you have a way you like to sit on the John that gets the job done better than others. So I think I've finally narrowed it down. Here's my list of instant gratifications.
1. Peeing
2. Eating/Drinking
That's it. Is my list as pathetically small as everyone else's?
Inanimate Objects
Do you ever find yourself giving life to inanimate objects or thinking of them in a human way? No? Yeah, uh... me neither.
No seriously. My family has always named their cars. It's sort of a strange tradition. I have been known to talk to my car on occasion too. Especially when I'm running on fumes. "Please baby, get me to the next gas station. I swear I'll buy you that premium shit instead of the cheap gas I usually feed you. I swear I'll get your oil changed regularly. Just PLEASE get me home safely." Call it coincidence, but I've never had the system fail. The other day I passed the multitude of car lots my town has bundled into one long strip of road and thought, "If cars were capable of thought, what would they think of us?"
Would they sit in dealership lots like animals at a pet store and pray for someone to take them home? What kind of owner would they want? Cars are either driven all the time and live for only a short while or they are parked most of their lives and live much longer. People are kind of like that too. Can you imagine a life totally out of your control? We sit in our vehicles. We decide where they are going. We operate the machinery. We are in charge of their health/maintenance. We decide when to retire or trade them in. If our cars were alive, they'd be the equivalent of cattle. I'm naming my next car "Moo."
Labels: Daily Hoop Conversations, People/Life, Wit and Quips
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17 comments
17 Comments:
I love that phone conversation between you and Hoop. Heh. Do you read the Stephanie Plum books? His "Babe..." reminded me of Ranger talking to Stephanie. (Mmmmm... Ranger....)
Anyway! I followed you over from mama_tulip's blog in part because I thought "Tink" indicated an interest in knitting. ("Tink" being "kniT" spelled backwards and used to describe unknitting a mistake.) Even tho your nickname is obviously not knitting-related, your stuff is funny and thoughtful, so I'll be checking back.
I tend to anthropomorphize only when I'm frustrated with something. For example if our home computer is moving especially slowly, I start to think it's out to get me.
The other thing I do is assign higher thought processes to my pets. I give them whole motivations and plans that they clearly do not have.
I LOVE your conversations with Hoop. The Slightly Used Bassist and I often sound quite similar. I hope no one else can hear us, most of the time...
As for naming cars, we just bought a new car. Well, new to us. It's ancient, rattle-y and a blast to drive. Her name's Serenity. MY car is Ian. My last car was "Ramsey" (a Neon. If you don't get it, look up neon, the gas) Serenity is a replacement for Baroness Melidere (affectionately called "Lady"). My first car was "Guy." SUB and I once had siblings, a Geo Metro named Simon Bonaparte and a Thunderbird named Annie Bonaparte. Simon was gay.
So, that, yeah, my cars are probably alive. And my computers are Gordon and Dominic (bonus points if anyone can figure out THAT reference)
LOL Pix! Here are my cars, in order:
Suzuki Samurai- Puddle Jumper
(The damn thing could fit anywhere and over anything. Granted I had a roll bar, which was a little unnerving.)
Plymouth Reliant- The Rock
(A Jimmy rear-ended me, destroying his front end. The only thing I lost was a bumper.)
Pontiac Sunbird- Avery
(It was the color of an electric blue Avery highlighter.)
Mercury Mountaineer- Violet
(My SUV is dark blue. My Mom has a red Trail Blazer...And as the saying goes, "Roses are red, Violets are blue.")
Chris: I love the Stephanie Plum books. Although Hoop wouldn't dare touch them. He DOES remind me of Ranger, now that you mention it. Babe... *Goosebumps*
TB: Pets are a biggie with me. My little boy has Doggie ADHD and my little girl is secretly conspiring how to take over the bed and leave the humans with the foot space at the bottom.
You always me make me laugh Tink. Love the 2 converstations with Hoop.
When I was a kid I refered to my blankies as real things. Like I thought 1 would be sad if I only used the other one to wrap up in ect ect. I was super cool though, so that could be why.... ;)
Love today's Daily Hoop Conversation.
Instant gratification for me: seeing my children smile or hearing them laugh.
And uh...I name everything, living or not. ;)
Mary: Aww. The blankie thing is sweet! I think I just name inanimate objects so I have something to cuss at specifically when they mess up. :)
Mama Tulip: Your instant grat list is SO much better than mine. One day hopefully I'll be able to add that to it too.
Tink, LOL at the Reliant. We had one of those. My mom gave it the "creative" name of Brownie. 'Cause it was.
Guy and I had a bit of an accident with a Mercedes (at least I don't go cheap) $3000 (yes, three THOUSAND) dollars of damage to the Mercedes. $6.75 to fix up Guy. Doncha just LOVE old Plymouths!
And Lady got into a tussle with a Volvo (told you I don't go cheap). I wasn't driving. And it was the Volvo's fault. Totalled the Volvo. Lady, well, she was messed up, but she survived (so did we, although I was limping at my wedding). While she was being fixed (for three months, damn the idiots) we had a Cadillac that we named Mr. Radley. One can't really call a rental, and a Caddy, no less, by his first name, afterall ;)
ps Guy was an '81 Horizon, well-used before he got to me. My brother gave him some stupid name that doesn't spring to mind. But my brother also wrecked the car six times before I got him in 1991; he'd only had him for three years...
Tink, you sound like me. I think I'm so overloaded with empathy I have to feel for inanimate objects even. When I'm really tired or sleep-deprived (THAT never happens!) I'll even start getting weepy for things. "That poor toy...the kids never play with it, it must feel so unloved. BOO HOO." It just means we are so full of humanity, and wouldn't it be great if everyone could have so much love and empathy, like we do! Or maybe we're just wierd. That's likely in my case. Nice post!
My mom always named our cars. We had a Chevrolet named Wizix and a rather large Chrysler somethingorother that she named Buela.
Thank you for making me laugh my ass off...I needed it!
I once read that peeing for a woman (when you have held it wayyyy too long) can be orgasmic. I once had a pee like that. I was drunk and REALLY had to pee bad. It felt sooooo good.
Tink, you are very, very funny. I frequently look for things that I'm already holding in my hand, so I sympathize with Hoop.
And I name everything. About ten years ago, I named my family's car Sven (it was a Volvo), and I also name random insects that fly into my apartment (it does make it a little harder to swat at them).
#3 laughing
#4 yelling
#5 throwing shit at the wall (and watching it break)
We named our diesel truck, Truckie Smokie Mokie - actually my 6 year old did. I think it has started a new tradition for us.
The only car I ever named was my 2nd car, a 1977 2-door Chevy Impala in metallic babyshit brown-green (a very dark and ominous color). Had a bumpersticker on it (which I picked up because of my name): Watch out for me. I am total evil. My name is Christine.
Heh. Ok, ok, so it wasn't a Plymouth Fury. But it was ominous anyway.
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