Path To Recovery

On the way home from Hoop's uncle's house last night he turned to me and said, "I think this has been the best Christmas ever." My eyes had been drooped half closed as I stared out at all the sad little Christmas lights down the road. He'd interrupted a thought I'd been having about how exhausted I felt. "Yeah it was, wasn't it?" It was probably the most insane too, might I add. But the "best" part sort of overrides all that. ;)

Friday 12/23: I joined Hoop and his friend for their usual Friday beers after work. We had plans to finish last minute shopping after for presents and cookie mix. Three beers, one shot, and two hours later I was trashed. I am NEVER trying to hang with the boys again. I went home and passed out across the bed. I woke up around one am to an empty house. I called Hoop in a daze, wondering if I'd sold him to Gypsies along the way home and if I'd gotten a good deal. He was at Wal-Mart, braving the insanity like the trooper I wasn't.

Saturday 12/24: I woke up feeling like something had crawled in my mouth and died. But I was determined to get my cookies made, so I hauled butt to the local grocery store with Hoop in toe. On the way home we sang out to Bob Marley like a couple of fools. Once at home we sang out to corney Christmas songs like a bunch of fools. Are you seeing a pattern here? I do the Chipmunk song amazingly well...without helium. I think that should be considered a skill. Unless that scares you, in which case forget I mentioned it. After some quick visiting with Hoop's mother and grandparents I split off and made the hour drive to my own parents' house.

Sunday 12/25: My brothers woke me up at three, five, six, six-fifteen, six-thirty, six-thirty five, and seven. Finally at seven we decided to let the caged beasts loose. I walked out bleary eyed to a stack of dishes. You know you're finally an adult when dishes make you all warm and fuzzy inside. Hoop joined the mayhem early in the afternoon. He brought my stepdad a fart machine, much to Papa Bear's delight and Mom's chagrin. Hoop's flea market gift ended up being a game I had been searching for. Yes I know, I am an ass. He also gave me perfume, a book, bedroom dice (grrrrowl), enough of my favorite cookies to last a month, and 12 pink roses. His favorite gift from me ended up being the least expensive. Go figure. It's a shirt with a picture of a keg on it. It says, "If you tap it, they will come."

Sunday Evening 12/25: I was pulled over on the way home. Who the hell pulls someone over on Christmas? I was following Hoop... First mistake. I was going 50mph in a 35mph zone... Second mistake. I had the dogs in my car... Third mistake. Duff of course decided to start growling the second the cop mentioned how "sweet" my dogs were. Fortunately the holiday spirit seemed to have spread and the cop handed over a warning instead.

Sunday Night 12/25: Hoop and I hit our favorite tavern for a nightcap. I'm really only a seasonal lush, I swear. People were loud and cheerful. I got groped by a midget and three girls. To which Hoop asked, "Should I be pissed or not? I'm confused." We came to the conclusion that the midget surely deserved whatever perks he could get and the girls were allowed freebees on account of the holiday. Although next time I'm free to mace them if I desire.

Monday 12/26: Four words... Sleeping, Pigging, Visiting, Sleeping. Ok, so I repeated one of them. But I did it twice.

So here I am, back at work. I got trashed. The house is trashed. The tree is bare. My fridge is full of leftovers. Hoop is happy. I'm happy. New Years is in five days... FIVE DAYS. My liver is screaming, "It's just not fair!" Hopefully everyone had an equally as pleasant, if not crazy, holiday. I hope you all got what you wanted and the things that you didn't can be taken back. May the kids finally be satiated, the hubbies out of the dog house, and your wallets on the path to recovery. Bless you all!