Continuation

Not long after my twelfth birthday, I decided to get a perm. I was sure ringlets were the hidden key to popularity. Unfortunately, ringlets were not what I ended up with. What I saw in the mirror when I finished was a frizzy mess with the occasional curl mixed in. "Maybe it hasn't set in yet?" I mumbled from the chair. Mom and I went shopping after the makeover. I walked around all day sniffing the air and wondering what the hell smelled so bad. It smelled like an animal had been electrocuted. And then I realized... I was the cause of the smell. "Will it ever go away?" I hiccuped through my tears. My Mom, ever the patient and empathetic one, replied "I told you you wouldn't like it!"

"What did you do to your hair?" Ryan asked the next day. "It looks like a poodle!" I'd like to say I smiled and replied, "Well good! Because that's what I was going for." But we all know I didn't. I hid in the house for a couple days (it was summer) watching as Ryan and his new girlfriend practiced tennis swings in his front yard. That summer brought many changes. I started wearing a bra. Not because I had boobs or anything, but because some girl down the street said she could see my nipples through my shirt. I started shaving (the same girl had said I resembled a werewolf). The last big change, one that became my signature style through the years, was a slick new bob created by my scissor-wielding Grandma.

Sometime during the next school year, Ryan regained interest in me again. I fantasized about kissing him. In my mind, kissing was something magical. I laugh now. What was I expecting, butterflies and rainbows to sprout out of my ass? The first attempt happened right after I surprised him with a gift. My Mom's friend suggested an engraved keychain. Because nothing says "I like you" like a keychain. I picked out a matching set, a key and heart that fit neatly together. He was surprised alright. So surprised he failed to notice I was leaning in for a kiss. I ended up losing my balance and knocking my chin on his shoulder. Smooth.

About a month later I started "dating" a guy name Mike. I say "dating" because really, how many dates can one go on in seventh grade? The bulk of our relationship was passing notes during English and sitting together at lunch. Until... One night Mom went out and left me in charge of my little brother. The kicker was that she let Mike come over and help. I didn't even really like Mike. He had thick black hair that he kept greased on the sides and spiked in the front. He wore oversized clothes and listened to metal. In short, he was everything a prep like Ryan would hate. After the baby was put down, I led us out to the front stoop and tried to look kissable.

The timing was impeccable. Just as Mike leaned in to kiss me, Ryan walked out of his house. "This is it!" I thought. And then something unexpected happened. Mike licked my face. His tongue was everywhere. Around my mouth. On my chin. Up my nostril. I tried to pull away, but his tongue followed. It looked like a snake trying to strike something. When it was over, I looked up and saw Ryan was laughing. "Want to kiss some more?" Mike asked. "Um. NO. Thank you." I got up and went into the house. "THIS is what I've been waiting for? THIS?! Why do grownups like that?" That kiss alone cured me from being interested in boys for three more years.

Luckily it got better. MUCH better. ;)

Updates:
1. AG has been readmitted to the hospital. He now has pneumonia in both lungs and they can't get him to eat or drink. They hooked him up to an IV and his lungs started filling with liquid. They say it's only a matter of time. We're going to the hospital tonight to say our good-byes. Keep him in your thoughts.
2. While at work alone today, Hoop was threatened by a customer who had been turned down for a loan last Friday. After tearing through the office the guy yelled, "Who do I have to shoot around here to get money?" Then he walked out to his car. Hoop, unable to lock the door, walked outside to confront the man. He succeeded in calming the guy down enough to get him to leave. But it still makes me nervous. Why are there so many screwed up people in the world?

Weekend Recap and WWC tomorrow.