Dangerously Safe
I woke up this morning upside down.
Apparently, I'd been reaching for the alarm in my sleep and forgot that we were sleeping in a different room for the night. Since moving into my parents' house, Hoop and I have had to vacate our room five times. The room we're staying in, Big Bit's, also subs as the guest room. My parents entertain a lot of overnight guests/family. So about twice a month we're kicked out and moved into my other brother's room. With us goes all the gifts we received for Christmas, our clothes, our dogs, and whatever miscellaneous crap the dresser has procured over time.
I feel like the Junk Lady in Labyrinth, dragging my personal belongings with me wherever I go.
Back to this morning... I woke up as my hands and head hit the floor. The rest of me was still on the bed. Including my knees, which were squishing the dog they had landed on. "Heeeeelp!" I yelled. Or maybe it was, "Oh shit!" I can't remember. Next thing I knew, Hoop was pulling me up by my waist and dragging me back toward the pillows. "Thank you for rescuing me," I whispered, waiting for the inevitable questions about what the hell I'd been doing. "Mmm Hmm," Hoop mumbled instead. As if this sort of thing happens all the time.
Root Of All Evil: Whoever said it was "money," didn't get specific enough. "Banks" would have been more appropriate. I went to my mortgage company at lunch to set up direct payments from my savings account:
Teller: Hmmm. I'm sorry. It appears your loan has been sold.
Tink: SOLD? To who?
Teller: Blah-blah Bank.
Tink: But... Why? I haven't even made a payment yet!
Teller: I assure you, these things happen all the time.
Tink: But how can I be delinquent if I haven't had to make a payment yet?
Teller: *Bursts out laughing*
Tink: Oh please, laugh, because that makes me feel SO much better!
Go on, shake your head at me. How was I supposed to know this was a typical thing for banks to do? (Aside from the fact that I signed paperwork stating I understood the possibility of that happening) How am I supposed to retain all this information?
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I'm sorry your day is so stressful.
Tink: I'm just sick of all these stupid chinks in the plan!
Hoop: ...
Tink: Hoop?
Hoop: *Starts laughing* Kinks.
Tink: What?
Hoop: *Laughs harder* I think you meant KINKS in the plan.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Put on your seatbelt.
Hoop: It IS on.
Tink: I don't see it.
Hoop: It's invisible.
Tink: Please put on your seatbelt?
Hoop: It's broken.
Tink: I thought it was invisible.
Hoop: It's both.
Tink: Put on your damn seatbelt!
Hoop: My arms don't work.
Tink: Now your arms are broken?
Hoop: Yup.
Tink: How are you driving?
Hoop: Magic.
Courtesy of Odd Mix:
The words for this weekend are...
View
Conceal
Have a great weekend!
Labels: Daily Hoop Conversations, Stupidity
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22 comments
22 Comments:
I think Hoop would give me ulcers. Did he drive his parents crazy with worry???
What a day! Take a deep breath, exhale slowly and just flow with it. The loan thing is common. The ditz should have explained it to you and not laughed. How totally rude! Too bad I'm not there to roll over her toes for you. I would, ya know. Try and enjoy the rest of the day and just roll with it. (no pun intended)
It's going to be nice to get back to your own bed, huh? Not much longer!
Tink...you never fail to make my day!
At least Hoop is never at a loss for answers, even if they don't always add up.
Have a great weekend!
Thanks for giving me a giggle in the midst of my sucky work day. :) Altho, should I be laughing at the misfortunate of others?! Hmm....
Even when you're stressed, you have me laughing out loud. I love you, Tink.
You really do have a talent for taking a bad situation and relating it in a funny way.
That said, if I'd have been with you, I would have been tempted to slap that bitch for laughing.
Sunshine: YES. His Mother is already trying to jinx us with kids like him. I keep telling her, "But I was a good kid! Why should I get punished too?" :)
Turtle: Aw. Thank you! I wish you and Foo lived closer... But not just so you could roll over stupid people's toes for me.
TB: Not having to move anything around or worry about what we're doing on whose sheets will be HEAVEN.
Susan: I'm sure they made sense in his head... somehow. :)
Chris: YES you should. Go read Newt's current post for more details on the chain/circle of pettiness.
Mama T: I love you more.
Arabella: Most of life's situations ARE funny. Just not necessarily to the people experiencing them first hand. :)
"chinks" you crack me up. My rule. Car doesn't move till the damn seatbelt is on. Of course if he's driving that makes it harder. Maybe you should point out that if he gets himself killed then you'll have to get a new boyfriend. And start sleeping with someone new........
Once, while asleep, i rolled off the bed and landed on the floor with a thunk. The Mister peered over the side of the bed confusedly and sleepily.
"I'll be right up," i said.
It's hell no having your own room/own bed. When do you guys get to move in?
My student loans have been sold a couple of times. What really annoys me is when they sell them the new company somehow ends up with my address from many years ago and I suddenly stop getting anything in the mail until they call me.
So, how do they have my current phone number, but not my current address? They can't explain that.
Oooh, Labyrinth was such a cool movie, but understand the Junk Lady thing. Hope your mobility is short lived!
You are magic too!
I'm just over here lovin' the Labyrinth reference... since its one of my favorite movies of all time.
All that schlepping around would give me nosebleeds, but it will all be worth it in the end, right? You just have to believe yes, and continue to laugh at the craziness in the meantime.
Hopefully you won't be a nomad too much longer. And the same bank will have your loan for longer than a month. I can't believe how quick that happened.
"Heeeeelp!" I yelled. Or maybe it was, "Oh shit!" I can't remember.
In our house, the two are synonymous.
Re. Hoop's driving with no hands: was it magic... or libido?
The sale of your loan has nothing to do with being deliquent. I have had my loan sold twice already. Just make sure your homeowner's insurance has the proper people to send the bill to. I had my homeowner's cancelled because they sent the bill to the last owner of my loan. It took me forever to get it straight.
We had the same thing happen with our mortgage. We had a first and second taken out at the same time (long story). when we first did it, they were with the same bank. the second mortgage was sold almost immediately. I was sending ONE check with two remittance slips. The first bank happily accepted ALL the money, but the bank to whom the mortgage was sold was a bit miffed...so was I when I found out I was three months behind!!!
I need some of Hoop's driving magic! It can be hard to hand things back to a 2.5 year old while driving. I often tell Buddy that mama is not an octopus, so he will have to use his patience. He usually responds with that disappointed tone, "Okay, mom."
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