Thursday, February 08, 2007

Updates (Finally)

I feel like I've been having an out of body experience for the last four days.

The closing on Monday night went much smoother than expected. Which doesn't explain why I haven't posted updates until today. The truth is, I didn't want to think about it anymore. So I stuck it on a shelf and pretended it wasn't there. Some people call that "denial." I call it "fucking brilliant."

I'm thinking about doing it with other uncomfortable memories too. That peeing
incident from fourth grade? Stashed. Next is my collection of horrible hair-dos and family gatherings. Oh, and let's not forget the time Grandpa pulled out his dentures and convinced me I could do the same with my teeth too.

Monday Night: When I walked into the title company I was greeted by four smiling people.

  • The seller, who was smiling out of confusion as if to say, "Who is this little girl and where are her cookies?"
  • The seller's Realtor, who was smiling like a shark that was ready for dinner.
  • The title representative, who was smiling and sweating as he stared down a plate of pastries.
  • My Realtor, who was grinning nervously and making too-polite conversation with the enemy other party.

    I told them as I sat down that I was waiting for my Mom to arrive. I had decided last minute to pull Hoop out of the closing. Something I would later be made to pay for. Despite my persistence to wait, they kept shoving paperwork at me to sign. "I'm sure it's all in order," my Realtor said, smiling sweetly at the seller. "I think my client has gone well beyond the call of duty," the other Realtor chimed.

    They impatiently stared at me as we waiting. I know what they were thinking. "She needs someone to hold her hand." But I didn't. I could see that the paperwork was in order. I could have signed. I was waiting for my moral support to arrive. I knew the moment Mom walked through that door that someone was on my side. Even if I didn't really need it.

    So the house is officially ours! I signed over my soul and traded the money for a set of keys. Hoop and I had a long talk last night about support, insecurities, and the walls we've built up between each other in the last two weeks. I've come to realize I'm excellent at masonry ;). As with the new house, we plan on working on it. We love each other too much to simply throw "us" away.

    The hardest part is over. Soon enough it'll be time for the fun to begin.

    February Search Terms:
    (What people put into search engines that bring them here)
    1. scrotum cream Try the blog down the street.
    2. what guys think about while having sex According to Hoop, it's
    3. scary hairy dude Whatever you do, DONT Google that term... You're going to aren't you? Don't say I didn't warn you.
    4. totally useless information An octopus' testicles are located in its head.
    5. hoop up anal You can try... But he's a pretty big guy.
    6. pickled penis dahmer We all have nicknames we're not proud of.
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    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Betty said...

    I'm glad the closing went smoothly. Now, maybe you can relax a little.

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Mary said...

    I'm so glad its yours!

    That's good news about you and Hoop. You have been under so much stress lately, its no wonder that you have been practicing your bricklaying abilities...

    I can't wait to see some pics of the house (if you posted any, I missed them because I suck. I currently bricked myself in to a hole which no one can reach--maybe in 1 month I'll chisel my way out to finish school ;)

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

    I will be thinking about you guys. Enjoy the new place, you've made it sound great. Enjoy working on all those things that need it.

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

    Thank goodness the closing is all over and you won't have to worry about it anymore.

    You're only 24 and you've owned two homes now. WOW! I'm almost 39 and I've never owned one.

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Dooce Fan! said...

    I'm smiling because I think it's real neat you have a home of your own :)

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

    Congrats! And I'm SO glad it's over. I'm even more glad that you and Hoop sorted things out - I would miss my Daily Hoop Conversation(tm)!! ;)

    At 08 February, 2007, Anonymous Patsy said...

    It's yours! Now let the work begin. Off to the store you go! It's party time! Next week its time to put all of your stuff away. Keeping a relationship on the high ground is a life time commitment. So you have a very long time to get things right between you and Hoop.

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

    Good for you for making them wait -you're spending enough money - they can afford to give you a few minutes.

    I don't know what happened between you and Hoop, but when we bought our first house, my husband basically dumped the whole process on me and mentally removed himself from the mess. I was so pissed off at him, but when it was all over, I also felt proud of myself. Like, "I can handle this all by myself! Wow!"

    I'm so pleased for you that it's all over and one with. I hope you'll take pictures as you start moving in!

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger jinx protocol said...

    And, by 'octopus', don't you mean 'every guy who has walked the earth'?

    Wait, that made me sound like a feminist.

    Aw, screw it, we are all idiots let by our tentacles.

    Congrats on the house!

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger meno said...

    Congratulations homeowner!

    If men were like octopi, they could scratch their testicles in public and just look confused rather than gross. I'll bet they are jealous.

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

    Sounds like you're feeling pretty beaten up. I hope that finally being in your new place will help to soothe your frayed nerves.

    And the seller was at the closing?? That's practically unheard of. Most realtors do their darnedest to keep the party of the first part and the party of the second part from meeting, for fear that one will take a dislike to the other and queer the deal.

    Which, considering some of the Richardheads I had trying to lowball me, is eminently logical.

    At 08 February, 2007, Blogger Alex said...

    Hugs, Tink. Lots and lots of hugs. In the end, it's all okay. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

    Huge Congrats on the house buying. You're like, a grown up and stuff.

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger Rock said...

    My first closing was with buying a hose from a very good friend fo my mine. I bought his house. We were both drunk as hell for different reasons. We were both smashed at fairly the most important financial event of our lives - but it did not matter. Sign the frigging forms and it will be over.

    I have closed on escrow several times since then and it has been no where near that. It's just been papers. But I remember that first time.

    Drunk all of the way.

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger Cindi said...

    Congrats! Thanks for stopping by my place. Love your blog. You have a wonderful sense of humor!

    Years ago when my then husband and I went to the closing on our first home, the sellers were there. They were also a divorcing couple and before we could get all the signatures the wife got mad at her soon to be ex and stormed out of the room. The husband was very embarrassed. It all worked out but we were sweating bullets for a while.

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

    Betty: Thank you. I hope so!

    Mary: You didn't miss any pictures. Hoop and I are driving out this weekend to shoot some before we start the upgrades. I should be posting them on Monday. :)

    Mamalujo1: While you're thinking of us could you have a beer for me? I'm over-do.

    Jay: You know... I think you're the smarter of us two. I don't think I want to do this ever again!

    Dooce Fan: Thank you. It's good not to be homeless anymore.

    Chris: Me too. I'm hoping we're back to having those this weekend.

    Patsy: I don't think I've ever been so excited to go to Home Depot.

    Fiwa: Fiwa dear, I think you and I are kindred spirits. ;)

    Jinx: Can I get that statement on record? Hehe

    Meno: *Snort* God, I love your mind.

    Foo: Believe me, I would have rather her not been there. But at least there was no delay waiting for each other to sign the paperwork at different times. I AM beat up. Nothing a night of good food, good drinks, and good company can't fix. You and Turtle want to join us?

    Alex: Shhh. I'm never going to grown up.

    Rock: LMAO. DRUNK?! Omg. Why didn't I think of that? Maybe next time... If there is a next time.

    Cindi: Wow, that's awkward. I hope you saged the house or something before you moved in. Ya know, move out all that negative karma? ;)

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

    I don't blame you for making them wait. It is a big thing to do and you needed your moral support. Sending you a great big HUG! xx

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

    Congratulations on your new house. I am so happy for you and Hoop!

    At 09 February, 2007, Anonymous mamatulip said...

    CONGRATULATIONS, Tink. It's over! YAY!

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

    Good for you standing up for yourself and not letting them intimidate you. You are so far ahead of where I was at your age.

    Congrats on the house!

    At 09 February, 2007, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

    Yea!! Congrats!

    At 10 February, 2007, Blogger mE said...

    1. Congrats, particularly on hanging tough. You did good, girl!

    2. There are times that by definition are going to test a partnership: Planning the wedding; serious illness and/or death of a child or parent; hosting an extended family reunion; extended vacations; buying a house; tightening the communal budgetary belt.

    It occurs to me that more often than not what these things test are the (sometimes significant) differences in the individual coping skills of each partner.

    When planning our wedding, my check-out-every-contingency-and-control-everything coping skills went well with my husband's ignore-it-and-it-will-probably-sort-itself-out coping mechanisms, because I didn't *want* him to be messing around with my plans and stirring me up into a state of incoherant rage - I had a mother for that.

    But when our baby was born with serious health problems, the difference in our coping styles nearly did us in. I felt abandoned in my agony and terror, and he found my need to obsessively process and plan for contingencies oppressive and unnecessarily negative. Walls go up, and at times they seem insurmountable.

    You are doing the right thing. Talking about it when you are able to remember that you *love* each other is a great step. Remembering that your partner's flaws are in all likelihood the flip side of the things that you love most about them can help you to realize that in expecting them to change you are asking that they change who they are - even if they were willing or able, you might not really like the inevitable side effects involved.

    The question is not 'is he everything I want?' Nobody can be that for you. The question is 'is he mostly what I *need*... and can I get the rest elsewhere and stay reasonably happy?' If the answer to that is 'Yes,' then you have a Good Thing going...


    At 11 February, 2007, Blogger Arabella said...

    Congratulations! You rock, Tink.

    But the scrotum cream is making me shudder.

    At 18 February, 2007, Blogger Cindi said...

    Tink, answering your above reply to my comment: we *should* have saged the house before moving in! My marriage fell apart within three years after moving in and I do remember thinking during the bad times that maybe the house was built over an abandoned burial mound or something causing the "bad karma" for us. We were the second family to live there and that first family who built the house...well you read my story. (My ex had a drinking problem so I don't think saging the house would have helped)


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