Updates (Finally)

I feel like I've been having an out of body experience for the last four days.

The closing on Monday night went much smoother than expected. Which doesn't explain why I haven't posted updates until today. The truth is, I didn't want to think about it anymore. So I stuck it on a shelf and pretended it wasn't there. Some people call that "denial." I call it "fucking brilliant."

I'm thinking about doing it with other uncomfortable memories too. That peeing incident from fourth grade? Stashed. Next is my collection of horrible hair-dos and family gatherings. Oh, and let's not forget the time Grandpa pulled out his dentures and convinced me I could do the same with my teeth too.

Monday Night: When I walked into the title company I was greeted by four smiling people.

The seller, who was smiling out of confusion as if to say, "Who is this little girl and where are her cookies?"

The seller's Realtor, who was smiling like a shark that was ready for dinner.

The title representative, who was smiling and sweating as he stared down a plate of pastries.

My Realtor, who was grinning nervously and making too-polite conversation with the enemy other party.

I told them as I sat down that I was waiting for my Mom to arrive. I had decided last minute to pull Hoop out of the closing. Something I would later be made to pay for. Despite my persistence to wait, they kept shoving paperwork at me to sign. "I'm sure it's all in order," my Realtor said, smiling sweetly at the seller. "I think my client has gone well beyond the call of duty," the other Realtor chimed.

They impatiently stared at me as we waiting. I know what they were thinking. "She needs someone to hold her hand." But I didn't. I could see that the paperwork was in order. I could have signed. I was waiting for my moral support to arrive. I knew the moment Mom walked through that door that someone was on my side. Even if I didn't really need it.

So the house is officially ours! I signed over my soul and traded the money for a set of keys. Hoop and I had a long talk last night about support, insecurities, and the walls we've built up between each other in the last two weeks. I've come to realize I'm excellent at masonry ;). As with the new house, we plan on working on it. We love each other too much to simply throw "us" away.

The hardest part is over. Soon enough it'll be time for the fun to begin.

February Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. scrotum cream Try the blog down the street.
2. what guys think about while having sex According to Hoop, it's baseball.
3. scary hairy dude Whatever you do, DONT Google that term... You're going to aren't you? Don't say I didn't warn you.
4. totally useless information An octopus' testicles are located in its head.
5. hoop up anal You can try... But he's a pretty big guy.
6. pickled penis dahmer We all have nicknames we're not proud of.