Thursday, September 06, 2007

Au revoir August

August Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Thursday.
2. The most popular hour being 4pm.
3. The top referrers were the ladies at So Many Blogs So Little Time (who have just called it quits) and Mamalujo.
4. The most used search term was, "semen slang." Might I suggest "Manthrax" or "Dong Water"?
5. My favorite search term was, "dangers of sticking finger in your belly button." Because there are just so many.
6. The highest hit post (231) was on August 20th, the day I was showered in
awards.

31 Quirks For 31 Days:
1. Men can believe what they want, but I DON'T have penis envy.
2. I have intestine envy.
3. How is it that guys can drop brown several times a day and I struggle to do it once in three?
4. Oh yes, I'm going there.
5. You never hear men discussing fiber pills or Activia. Do they even make that stuff for them?
6. Men think the solution to constipation is eating "something with a tomato in it," or sitting on the toilet playing video games "until something slips out". Slips out?!
7. Further more, I think it's awful that guys can poop anywhere. It took me two years to feel comfortable enough to poop in the company bathroom! Even then I had to the run water and hum.
8. I have been smoke-free for 5 days, 19 hours, 37 minutes, and 11 seconds.
9. Ask me how I am. Go ahead, I dare you.
10. That pooping conversation didn't come up for nothing.
11. I hate Oprah.
12. It's not because she's black, or female, or rich. It's because she picks shitty books.
13. I will never understand how a $2 salad becomes a $9 meal at Ruby Tuesdays. Unless by charging so much they hope you enjoy it more. Which I do. Because damn it, if I'm going to pay $7 for a salad I'm going to lick the plate when I'm done.
14. If Hoop had been born in the 1960's and female he most certainly would have been a bra burner.
15. His biggest beef right now is the "click it or ticket" law. He believes it should be our choice whether we wear a seat belt or not and that telling us we have to is against our freedom.
16. I disagree, since I know he wouldn't wear one if there wasn't a law.
17. For awhile I only humored his theories about how Congress is limiting our freedom little by little. Until Jacksonville started talking about a dress code law.
18. $500 if you're caught wearing baggy pants or bottoms that show your ass when you bend down, no matter your age or sex. I swear someone has transported me back to high school. Next they're going to be outlawing baseball caps and bandannas.
19. When I was three I broke my leg.
20. I was on visitation with my Dad. My Mom didn't find out until two weeks later when he returned me. He lamely told her I'd fallen off the bed.
21. I still wonder about what really happened.
22. My favorite flower is the lily.
23. Of all the taste buds, sour is the one I'd pick to lose.
24. I LOVE sugared pecans.
25. At age 19 I thought I ruled the world.
26. Now I think the world rules me.
27. Whenever I'm feeling really blue, I read about someone who had it much worse than I do. Like
Rachel Plummer....
28. Then I feel even worse.
29. I think all humans are a little masochistic.
30. It's the reason we pick scabs and listen to sad music when we feel like crying.
31. If someone ever writes my life story... (I don't know why. Maybe I invent the cure for ugly) ...I don't want the last sentence to be "The End."
32. Or, "and then the clowns ripped off her face."
33. I'd rather it say, "She was one cool chick."

Labels: ,

32 Comments:

At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Melanie said...

I rarely check my hits. this entry made me want to.

and I don't want to sound lame, but how do you find search terms? sheez. I must be so OuT of it.

LOVE the quirks. May have to adopt that one in my arena.

more to come!

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

You are definitely one cool chick.

Have a great weekend! Miss me lots! Wave to me in NY!

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

You are the coolest of all cool chicks!

Hoop is right. The amount of control our gov't has (and still wants more) over our daily lives is outrageous. We have turned into one big Nanny State. It has nothing to do with Democrat or Republican either. It's strictly about them wanting control.

Control over what we eat, drink, inhale and who we love and spend our lives with. There are even people who want to tell us when and how many kids to have.

I could go on and on, but I won't.

Have a great weekend Tink!

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

P.S. You DO rule the world! Well, the blog world anyway. ;-)

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Melanie: The free stat counter I have collects them for me. Go all the way down my right side bar until you see a little green graph. Click it. :)

SG: *Waves* Good-bye! I'll miss you! Bring me back something cool! ;)

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: We had a huge conversation/argument with Hoop's Mom on Sunday night over the legalization of pot and prostitution. Hoop and I are for it. She, being very conservative, is not. It wasn't like we said, "Drugs and hoes are good, mmm-kay" either. We had ACTUAL points. I was mad impressed. But back onto the subject of gov't control. It really has gotten bad. Makes you wonder how far off George Orwell was with "1984."

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Oprah definitely picks the most depressing books ever. DO NOT read Songs in Ordinary Time unless you WANT to feel suicidal. Sheesh.

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Allison said...

Dude, true story. My MIL tried to quit smoking about a year ago. She lasted a week or two and then started again. Her excuse? She couldn't take a shit. Like couldn't. She's still smoking. LOL!

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Mouse said...

I think that unless Stephen King is in charge of writing your life story you're pretty much not going to get that "and then clowns ripped off her face" ending.

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Nvisiblewmn said...

Ah, you're funny.

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger Lynn@ZelleBlog said...

Tink I dont get the shit thing either. My husband asks me what the big deal is- why cant I just go do it?

I have to be home, in MY bathroom.

Good luck with quitting. I needed gum AND patches. And I still freakin snuck them for two years.

Babies made me stop. or Id be high and smoking right this minute. :)

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger meno said...

What stat counter do you have? i don't think mine tells me the referral phrase. I'd like that.

 
At 06 September, 2007, Blogger butterfly girl said...

Once I think the kids are entertained and hubby is snoring long enough and loud enough I will tip-toe to the bathroom and silently shut and lock the door. Only to hear the floor creaking outside the door the minute my ass hits the seat. I can't poop if someone is listening! Then they say, "Mom? What are you doing in there!?" No, they don't say it, they scream it like I'm in the neighbor's house and wake hubby. I totally get it Tink.

;)

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Mike got a ticket for not wearing his seat belt once. He came home telling us about it and saying he didn't know it was a law. We went around saying, "Click it or Ticket" for a while after that. Haha!

"Slip out?" Now, that's funny!

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

I'm sorry but I had to sto at # 6. I'm sure you understand why ;)

 
At 07 September, 2007, Anonymous susan said...

I thought the bathroom thing was just another one of my own quirks. What a relief to know it's a girl thing. I need my OWN bathroom with no one in it but me.

And you DO rock!

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Love #4 - Yes, I am really going there.

I do not understand either how men can poop so much. I am so with you on this one.

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Christy said...

Belly buttons are most definitely wickedly dangerous.

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Meno: Go all the way down my right side bar until you see a small green graph. Click it. It's not the best stat counter ever, but it's free and it offers some neat features.

Allison: That's exactly the problem I'm having. As if I didn't have enough problems in that area before. *Sigh* I guess I'm on a soup, salad, and fiber pill diet for awhile.

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

Guess the whole bathroom thing is a girl thing. I'm a member of the club, too.

And you are one cool chick!

 
At 07 September, 2007, Anonymous OddMix said...

You are definitely a cool chick! Uh, oh. Look out... there's a clown behind you!

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger rudecactus said...

Clowns...face ripping...I'm going to have nightmares for years...

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Ok, I hate the baggy pants thing, but if they outlaw it, how can I watch the kids running up the road holding their pants up. It's freak'n hilarious to watch them run/waddle up the road. They think it's so cool yet they look so dang rediculous. But then I remember that I used to wear stir-up pants with leg warmers and I thought I was really cool too.

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Anytime I want to make myself feel better, I just come read your blog, cuz you always make me laugh. Have a good weekend -
lovins,
fiwa

 
At 07 September, 2007, Blogger Tawcan said...

I laughed so hard reading #6. I think at one point of their lifetime everyone thought they ruled the world.

 
At 07 September, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

Still routing for you sister. The first week is the worst, but it gets better.

And at least the lack of nicotine hasn't affected your sense of humor.

 
At 08 September, 2007, Blogger nvisiblewmn said...

My God, I had no idea there were dangers associated with sticking your finger in your belly button!

 
At 08 September, 2007, Blogger Foo said...

Sheesh... you're so popular that by the time I manage to get by the blog to comment, the pile of responses is so deep I know you'll never get to mine. So, really I guess I could say pretty much anything and you'd never even know.

Except the one time I tried it would be the one time you decided you were bored and read every last comment.

I actually find it reassuring when women "go there" and talk about poop. It makes you more human, like maybe when you look down your noses at us guys, I can feel free to just roll my eyes, smile a bit and say (to myself), "Oh, there she goes again, pretending she's oh-so-evolved."

 
At 08 September, 2007, Blogger CRUSTYBEEF said...

How's the not smoking going?
How are you doing it? I really want too..I have to for my kids that's for sure!!

I like that, DONG WATER, btw-absolutely hilarious!
Always,
CrustyBEEF~

 
At 08 September, 2007, Blogger Alex said...

A bit ginormus congratulations on the smoking thang. No, I'm not your mother, but I'm proud of you anyway.

 
At 09 September, 2007, Blogger HAR said...

Dear One Cool Chick,

I quit smoking myself over 5 years ago. It MF"n hard but DON"T give up. You can do it and it is so worth it.
The End :)

 
At 10 September, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

"That pooping conversation didn't come up for nothing."

See how I just quoted you?
That was totally quotable.
Awesome.

 

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