1. Friday night, Hoop and I took my little brothers to go see "Spiderman 3."
2. When we got there, about an hour and a half before the showing, a line had already started forming for seats.
3. So we decided to skip our dinner plans and camp out instead. We amused ourselves by talking with the people around us.
4. To our left was a young couple who claimed they NEVER missed a new movie.
Young Woman: Never. Sometimes I skip sleeping so we can see a midnight showing.
5. At a cost of $12.00 (for two tickets), times 4 (the average number of new movies per week), the couple spends about $2,304 a year at the theater!
6. With the average income for the area being $24,087. That's 9.56% of someone's yearly earnings!
7. The movie was decent. Not worth the wait and mad rush for seats. The majority of the plot was spent on Peter and MJ's romance. Disheartening, considering the actors have absolutely NO chemistry together. About 40 minutes of the movie were fight scenes, only 15 of which had Venom in them.
8. Saturday morning I drove the boys home and then went back to the "crib" for cleaning.
9. Cleaning, for a place that has virtually no storage or furniture, consists of piling things in stacks in the corners. The most popular phrase in my house right now is, "Where is---?" or "Have you seen---?"
10. Yesterday I found a screwdriver in the dirty clothes hamper. When I went to go place it with other tools, I found an empty bottle of orange juice chilling out with the wrench.
11. I keep bugging Hoop about getting things fixed: the missing baseboards, the holes in the walls, the nonexistent electricity and plumbing in the kitchen, the fans with no blades...
12. He keeps assuring me that his Dad will help fix it when he comes into town. His Dad, the man who has rescheduled on us three times. The house is never going to get done.
13. So I've decided to run away. I'm looking to be adopted out. Any takers? I make a mean Pork Chop Marsala!
14. Saturday evening Hoop decided to bite the bullet and charge a new PS3 and receiver on his card. But when we went to make the purchase:
Electronics Employee: I'm helping this customer and then I'm going home.
Hoop: Is there anyone else who can help us?
Electronics Employee: Nope.
15. I'm not sure what pissed me off more, the prospect of shopping for entertainment equipment longer than we already had, or being treated so rudely.
Tink: Excuse me.
Tink: My boyfriend and I are looking to spend a LARGE amount of money at your store. But apparently, your employee doesn't want to take it. Instead of helping us, he just told us that he's about to go home and that no one else in the entire store will be able to help with our purchase. Is that true?
16. I couldn't tell who was more horrified, the manager or Hoop.
17. In the end they gave us a an extra $20 discount on our purchases and followed us around with a cart as we shopped. I think that's the closest I'll ever get to feeling like royalty!
18. Sunday morning I awoke to Hoop organizing the garage. For the first time in three months we can walk through without having to play Frogger with all our stuff.
19. Mark that down in the calendar folks!
20. But the joy I felt from that accomplishment was quickly ruined by what happened last night.
21. After spending an hour putting our bedroom fan together, I called Hoop in to examine my handiwork. I was a bit frustrated because certain parts seemed a bit loose, so he dismantled it to find the problem.
22. In the process of putting it back together, he shattered the glass dome.
23. I'll admit, I was angrier with him than I should have been. But my patience for this never ending project of ours has begun to shrivel. I called him "destructive." He got defensive. We both went to bed angry.
24. Then I dreamt we were having a fist fight. So of course I woke up angry too.
25. Why couldn't I have had a makeup sex dream instead?!
26. I'm still grouchy. So in order to lighten the mood, here are some conversations on the house:
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Look at that building. It's huge! Is it a house or a church?
Hoop: It's a house.
Tink: Are you sure?
Hoop: I'm sure.
Tink: But... Isn't that a cross in the front yard?
Tink: Look, there's a sign. It IS a church! I thought you said it was a house?
Hoop: It is a house. It's God's house.
Tink: Smart ass.
Mom Quote Of The Day:
"I think we should have a funeral for Grandma's uterus. After all, it was my first home."
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Are you going to leave me?
Tink: No way!
Tink: Wait, did you mean right now or forever?
Tink: Good. Because I really have to pee.
Not Far From The Tree:
(While eating at my parents' house)
Hoop: I am so full!
Tink: Throw that piece back in the pot then.
Hoop: Ew! You really think someone is going to want to eat it?
Tink: Well, that depends. Are you a forker or a biter?
Papa Bear: Forker! *Bursts out laughing*
Mom: I fork AND bite.
Tink: No, no, no. I meant-
Papa Bear: You forker!
Mom: See? *Forks off a chunk of meat and bites it off*
Tink: That's not-
Papa Bear: Mother forkers.
Hoop: I knew what you meant.
Papa Bear: So did I.
Mom: Me too.
Tink: I hate you all.