GINGER

(Guest post by Hoop)

Hey everyone! I know it has been a long time since I have made a guest post, but it is necessary. Help would be very much appreciated. If you have ever been on the receiving end of this situation and are offended, I'm sorry. We have a very annoying, helpless, temperamental hypochondriac plaguing our office. We will call her "Ginger." She causes everyone to do more work and she is stressing out the manager beyond belief. She has called in sick 16 days so far this year but always presents a doctor's note. She won't stop asking questions. She always F's up. She is incapable of learning. She always has an excuse. She tries to transfer blame. She gets jealous and on and on and on...

The worst part is the other 5 of us are getting bad. The behind the back jokes are getting out of control. If she heard the bombs being dropped, surely she would take the old double barrel wrapped up in the rebel flag behind the seat of her boyfriend's duelly to her head. Granted, like a bear, it would take a few shots to penetrate to the brain and someone would have time to get help. Also assuming she could figure out how the gun worked. And that someone would help her. It is getting very ugly and this woman will not quit. We are in the lending business and we have way too many obstacles to overcome right now as it is. Our customers don't like her either. All she talks to them about is how our economy sucks. How can I get her to quit? I've assigned a heavy workload, but I find myself helping her do it.

Any other ideas?

Hoop

The Guest Of Honor

(Post By Hoop)

Now I have my own holiday? Just for finding out my girlfriend has been secretly supporting our relationship to the world? I tink somebody loves me!!! It's a damn good thing too, because that somebody means everything to me. I wish I could have partook in the holiday festivities. But unfortunately, I was secluded in my little internetless world I like to call work. No but really, I hope you guys had fun. I'm sure ya'll enjoyed all your booze, strippers, and sandwiches. Damn I love sandwiches. My Grandma makes killer club sandwiches. I can make a sandwich out of anything. It's my special talent. Some of the best sandwiches are the classics like ham, peanut butter and banana, grilled cheese, and the old faithful pb&J.

I grew up on those, but then expanded my horizons to such sandwiches as egg salad, chicken salad, BLT's, and clubs. I also love tuna fish, roast beef, cubans, steak, chicken, baloney, or just plain ol' turky sandwiches. Throw some pepper jack on and I'm in heaven. As I got older, my love for sandwiches evolved even further. I started experimenting. Throwing a little mayonnaise on my peanut butter and bananas, tomato and mayonnaise, spam sandwiches, Eggo waffle sandwiches. I concocted sandwiches out of anything. One of my favorites was the triple decker with pb&J on the bottom, pb and bananas on the top.

Oh yeah, I forgot baby, nobody cares about those things but you.

Well I am getting tired, so I will say my goodbyes...

This one goes out to all of our (Tink's) fans. Thanks to everyone who supports us and Tink's Blog. You have been great.

(Back to Tink)

Don't forget, tomorrow is the Second Annual PB Contest!

The Contest: We're going to do this a little differently this year. If you would like to participate, the first part of the contest will start tomorrow at 9am (Eastern Time). I will post five questions. The first person to submit the correct answers to the comment section of tomorrow's post will be one of the four winners. The second set of questions will be posted at 1pm, the third set at 5pm, and the last set at midnight. I staggered the times so that everyone in all times zones would have an opportunity to play.

There'd be a set between 5 and midnight, but Hoop and I really want to go see the Simpsons movie. If plans change, a fifth set might unexpectedly pop up. :)

Da Rules: In the circumstance that no one gets all the answers right, the person with the most correct answers will win. If for some reason you can not comment on the blog (Blogger has been known to screw up) you can submit your answers to my email. You cannot win more than once. Cheating, if you are clever enough to find a way to, IS allowed. There is only one right answer to each question. But feel free to argue a point. I love a good debate. Winners will be announced as they come.

Prize:
1. (Will involve you emailing me your mailing address) A mixed bag of surprise goodies.
OR
2. Because it was so popular last year, a personal post. Which means I will dedicate an entire post to you and things that make me think of you

Have fun!!

My Other Half

(Guest post by Hoop. Maybe I can convert him into a blogger yet!)

Whats up everyone? Well, my amazing girlfriend just introduced me to this crazy machine called a "com-pute-r." Then she taught me about this so called "in-ter-net." That brings me to this post. Well now that you know how I got here and I am up to speed, I guess we can move on. I don't really know what to write, so I'll start out with a joke-

Q: What has six eyes and seven teeth?

The only catch is you have to read the rest of my post very carefully to find the answer.

So yesterday evening when I got home from work I let our dogs out. I delayed shutting the door for a minute to check out the scenery in our new back yard. When I decided to shut it, I guess Duff (Our cool, not so smart dog) thought I was opening it for them to come inside. He hauled ass like a crack hoe to the pipe at full speed head first into the door. It happened so fast, right in front of me. I felt really bad for him but then couldn't stop laughing after I realized he was ok. He seemed as though it didn't even bother him. Do dogs feel pain?

Did you guys catch the joke? I'll give you a hint, you gotta go back and read the Duff story, its somewhere right after the middle.

This weekend I have to take some insurance classes for my job so I can get the big dogs even richer. Maybe I can get them to take to some ideas I have concocted to make more money. We offer all types of insurances on our loans to protect the customer's interest.... as well as our own. If someone gets laid off from their job, injured and can't work, or dies, our insurance products pay on the loan. Sometimes they come in handy, but what we need to offer is prison and divorce insurance. Our area is crazy. I had a guy threaten to shoot me cause he got denied for a loan. We have a customer who is a really cool guy that got a DUI four months ago here in Fla and is not getting out until November just because it was a second offense in four yrs. That's a little ridiculous isn't it? And a ton of them have divorced since I got the job. Does anyone think I can sell my insurance ideas?

So anyways here is the real answer to my joke-

A: The night shift at the Waffle House.

I've been telling that joke for fifteen years now and nobody's heard it and I always get a laugh, unless its told in an area where there are no Waffle Houses. Feel free to use it with my permission and receive the same joy as I have over the years.

(Show the boy some love and comment! Have a great weekend guys.)