Angora Goat

When someone gives you an award for saying something quotable, it's important not to sound like a total dumbass in your acceptance post. Which explains why I drew a blank this afternoon when trying to think of clever ways to say how honored I am to receive these...

(Click 'em; they're links)

...from Musing over at Blogtations, possibly one of the most addictive sites EVER. This said by the chick who spends several hours a week on Etsy, Facebook, Flickr, and Neopets. Yes, I said Neopets. I happen to like the games on there, oh-kay?

While I was sitting here, staring at my empty post and waiting for a muse, something strange happened. I heard beeping. For a moment I wondered if it was all in my head. No one else in the office had even paused from what they were doing to listen to it. Maybe, I thought, I had finally pushed my brain too far and it was just warning me that it was shutting down for good. "Hey! Hey you! I thought you might like to know that you have approximately two minutes before I turn out the lights. Thanks again for the free room and board."

Then I came to my senses, got out of my chair and followed the sound to the dying smoke alarm across the room. "Is anyone going to do anything about this?" I asked the four strapping young men at the main desk. One of them climbed up on the counter, removed the batteries and then climbed back down again. "Problem solved," he said while plopping the warm batteries in my hand. Just peachy. I wonder how many other alarms they've "fixed" in just the same way. Reminder to brain (who has, in fact, NOT vacated yet): Don't keep important things at work anymore.

After I came back to my desk there was still the matter of coming up with a clever post. Maybe I could turn something that rhymes with "quote" into a witty title! No seriously, this was an actual thought. So I looked up the word "quote" in the rhyming dictionary. Did you even know such a thing existed? These were the suggestions it gave me: Angora goat, banana boat, cereal oat, raw throat, mackinaw coat, straw vote, root beer float. Wow. Having a rhyming dictionary is even LESS useful than I thought it would be.

So now that I have blatantly wasted your time and completely strayed from the subject of this post... Go! Check out Musing's blog. You won't be disappointed. Maybe if you're lucky and get an award for saying something clever, YOU won't make a total ass out of yourself during your acceptance post. At the very least, don't mention that you have an unhealthy obsession with a site that features virtual pets for little kids. Even if your "pet" is a cute little red Grundo wearing flaming shoes named Luki. Aw. Thanks again Musing!

Lo-Cal Post

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Oh no.
Hoop: What?
Tink: Itch!
Hoop: Where?
Tink: On my back.
Hoop: I'll get it.
Tink: Up. Up. Up. No, right. Down. Down. Ahhhhhhh.
Hoop: Better?
Tink: Oh yeah. Thank you! That was a bad one.
Hoop: Don't worry. I tracked it down and killed it.

I'm like butter baby. I must be on a roll!
The incredible and talented Jo gave me the "Better Than Butter" award last week. As usual, I'm just now getting around to acknowledging it. Thank you for spreading the love Jo! I'm honored to have you as a homebloy.



April Search Terms:
(What people type into search engines that gets them here)
Beef gangster They call me Tony Baloney Montana.
All hands on the poop desk Can I at least swab it first
diaper boy website
carmeltoe
uglies woman ever 3D I only recommend it for the blind.
arm wrastlin
Easter boobs

P.S. I'm halfway through the next Twisted Tink chapter. For those still following along, expect additions by the end of this week.

Friday Countdown Starts NOW

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Look what fell out of the dryer.
Hoop: My work key!
Tink: You don't want to forget that again.
Hoop: Stick it in my butt crack so I don't forget it.
Tink: *Shrug* Ok.
Hoop: No. No! Not really!
Tink: You shouldn't tease me like that.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Shit!
Tink: What's wrong?
Hoop: My shirt just ripped.
Tink: Do you have any others clean?
Hoop: Nope.
Tink: Just tell them you did it in the car.
Hoop: Smart thinking!
Tink: We really need to get you more clothes.
Hoop: I know.
Tink: Because that excuse is only going to work one time.

Pimp My Award:
Ginni Dee gave me the "E" award last Friday and (like the slacker that I am) I'm just now getting around to acknowledging it. So, thank you Ginni!

As is customary, I'm passing this prestigious award on to the below 10 people:
(Jebus... TEN?)
Butterfly Girl
Penelope Anne
Sparkling Red
Flutter
Knight
Gary
Reb
Tequila Mockingbird
LL
Scarlet Blue

P.S. The WWC words for next Tuesday have been reposted. They are SMOOTH and ROUGH. Espieglerie and Monkeyshine were just my lame attempt at an April Fool's joke. Although, if you'd like to try your skill on either, I'll give you 20 extra spork points! Which are good for absolutely nothing besides bragging rights. Ah well.

Better Than The Dog's Balls

Sunshine, the Queen of all things sparkly (including thongs!), passed out awards on Tuesday morning. Don't get too close. You might get a hairball.



This is the closest thing I'll ever have to a cat, since Hoop is allergic. But the next time he pisses me off, I'm going to rub this bad boy all over myself and then hug him.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Quit grabbing my boobs!
Hoop: Why?
Tink: Because they're my boobs!
Hoop: No they're not. They're MY boobs.
Tink: Fine. You can have one boob.
Hoop: Just one?
Tink: Do you want the right or the left?
Hoop: Um... The left.
Tink: That settled?
Hoop: *Fondles boob* Uh-huh.

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
I don't have to take this. I'm going to go play with my boob.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: So have you named it yet?
Hoop: Named what?
Tink: Your boob.
Hoop: No, I guess I haven't thought about it.
Tink: Well you should.
Hoop: How about... Floppy.
Tink: *blink*
Hoop: Jiggly?

Spam Subjects:
(In the order I received them)
Careful, you're being watched By who?
From the desk of Mr Cabiru Bello That dirty bastard.
This one exploded on the scene today What?! Oh wait. Nevermind.
Sheesh man, what were you thinkin I thought you said he exploded on his screen today. EW.

Tomorrow: If work doesn't bury me further, the last revised chapter for Twisted (Tink) before the new ones start up again.

Pimp My Awards

Eh. We can't ALL be humble...