Weekly Words Challenge 7!

The words for this week were Inspire and Create.

I have to admit, I'm not all that thrilled about the pictures I took. Then again, I'll never be able to top the pictures from last week. Call me bias. Hopefully you all will have felt more creative.

How did you interpret them?

Inspire


Work seems to go a lot smoother when you have something pretty to look at.


My Grandma sent me these in honor of Hoop's and my engagement.


Unfortunately, the guys at work took them to mean that I'm pregnant. I'm not. They're just idiots.

Create


...a new me. It's not as short as I wanted it, but the hairdresser seemed to have reservations about chopping off my locks.


And if you can get past the fact that I'm holding a BFG (Big Fucking Gun), you'll see my new highlights. They're orangy in loo of the season.

(Random Pictures)

Owl Eyes


Watch Dogs


Dorothy (2) and The Lube Man

We saw these people on the way out. I would like to note, this is not the same Dorothy I saw in the bathroom. This one, as you can see, is Toto-less.

The words for next week are:

Old
and
Blue

BONUS SPORK POINTS: Halloween

If you haven't joined the fun, go here for details.

Monday ≠ Funday

Weekend Recap:
1. Hoop checked the blog last night and was very upset that no millionaires commented.
2. I didn't have the heart to tell him that this blog isn't that popular.
3. Maybe I should adopt Ellen Degeneres' reject dog or something for publicity.
4. Friday night, Hoop and I considered going out. We played around with the idea of going to a movie or the haunted house near my parents' place. "We could carve pumpkins!" I suggested excitedly.
5. We tossed around ideas until we fell asleep on the couch.
6. Eleven o'clock the next morning, Hoop persuaded me to go out for breakfast. I agreed, as long as I could wear my PJs.
7. Had I known the place would be swamped, I might have reconsidered wearing a rumpled Budweiser t-shirt and boxers.
8. Apparently, people go to church on Saturday as well as Sunday in our town. That, or they get dressed up to eat at the pancake house.
9. I'm not sure which prospect scares me more.
10. Saturday evening we went out drinking with Nash, who was in town with his son for the weekend.
11. While using the bathroom at the beach bar we'd decided on, I noticed an odd pair of feet waiting outside the stall. They were in white tights and wearing sparkly red heels.
12. "Isher toilet paper inder?" A very drunk Dorothy asked me as I opened the door. "There's some in this stall, sweetie!" Called out Marilyn Monroe. She was followed in by the Queen of Hearts, who nearly took off my head with her flamingo scepter.
13. "Cute costumes," I said, trying to be friendly. "Ino. I look hot!" Dorothy slurred, staring down at her own cleavage. I tried to step gingerly over the assorted props on my way to the door, but Dorothy's basket got in the way.
14. All three girls squealed as the basket tipped, sending a stuffed animal Toto skidding across the floor. It stopped somewhere beneath the sink, where no cleaning lady has ever gone before. A nice person might have helped retrieve the contaminated pooch.
15. I am not that nice.
16. Sunday morning, Hoop and I came home to ROOFERS!
17. If the rain stops, they should be done by Tuesday.
18. One project down, forty-five more to go.

Tink Quote Of The Day:
"If someone discovered the face of Mary in a pile of dog poo, do you think someone would buy it on Ebay?"

Spam Subjects:
(In the order I received them)
Is your partner happy? He better be!
Satisfy Any Woman It's easier than you think.
She'll beg for more ...chocolate and Johnny Depp movies.
Few Inches Longer? We're talking chocolate bars, right?
Bigger Is Better Didn't I just confirm that?
Go For a Car Ride Can I stick my head out the window?

Don't forget the WWC tomorrow! I'll also be posting pictures of my new do.

NyQuil Makes You High

(A post written by Hoop while sick with the flu.)

Dear Rich People;

By rich people I am speaking of sports stars, rock stars, actors/actresses, corporate big boys, and Bill Gates. This is an essay to explain why one of you should give me 2 million dollars. I will accept charity, free P.R., and I really like money. That's all. I work hard and it's taking longer than I expected. So please help speed up the process. Have you ever given a bum money? Well, I have. I know it's not that satisfying and my girlfriend made me delete the picture I took of him sleeping. But that's not the point.

The point is that girls think an act of charity is sexy. They love it! Giving a couple million dollars for no reason to some guy you've never met before? That's an aphrodisiac to them. It's good P.R. Speaking of P.R., this is a chance to make a huge deal out of how generous you can be. Think about it. This is a chance to make the news, crack jokes with Letterman, or just put it in your life story. I'll even read it! I am but a mere financial representative. I go to work every day and do the best that I can. But this process could take me ten years or more, and I'll probably have kids by then.

When I gave that bum money, I maybe had $100 to my name. I gave him $3. That was 3% of my net worth that I gave away for no reason! He probably used it to buy booze or crack or something. See, I won't do that. I'll invest it. My girlfriend still talks about that bum. It makes a great story for when we're out drinking with friends. That's what you'd be creating here, a LEGEND. Don't you want to be a legend? Don't let my future wife and kids live a lower middle class life. So... Who's coming to bat? Anyone? The race begins now!

~Hoop

The Proposal

After getting up late and then hitting traffic, Hoop and I didn't reach Orlando until mid-afternoon. One of the heaviest and longest jams we encountered (45 minutes) was caused by a group of bikers parked on the side of the road. There was no discernible reason for them to be pulled over, but that didn't stop rubberneckers from slowing down to look. Once we got to the hotel, we agreed it was too late to hit the park. So we relaxed for awhile before heading to The Marketplace to grab a bite to eat and wait for Halloween Horror Nights to start.

All through dinner I thought Hoop was acting a bit fidgety. But I chalked it up to his lack of nicotine and the fact that we still had two hours to kill before scare time. Fortunately for us, they decided to open the park a little early. As people were starting to form lines, Hoop suggested we take a walk around the Hard Rock Hotel. I thought that was a little odd too, but went with it anyway. Around the hotel are pathways leading to ponds and beautifully landscaped gardens. I had just turned to admire some bamboo when Hoop went down on one knee.

"So this is what they make floors out of," I said, rapping my knuckles against the stalk. "I was going to do this inside the park. But then I saw they had metal detectors and were making people empty their pockets," he said. "Will you marry me?" Obviously, I said yes. Then I wrapped my arms around him and said, "It's about time!" At that point I hadn't even looked at the ring. But as you can see, my guy has great taste in jewelry as well as dresses and shoes. I couldn't help but admire my hand all night. That is, when it wasn't gripped in Hoop's hand with fright.

What was really great about Hoop's proposal was that he did it in a way he knew I would love. We'd met during the Halloween season. Our first kiss was in a graveyard. It seemed fitting that he should propose during Halloween Horror Nights. On top of that, he picked the ring out all by himself. Despite the constant pushing and suggestions from both sets of parents, Hoop picked out a ring he knew I would love and hadn't bothered to get it approved by anyone else first. So there you have it my friends. You were there in the beginning, four months after we met. And now you're here for this, the next step in our awesome adventure.

I couldn't ask for better friends to share this moment with. Thank you!!

*******************************************************************

In Other News: Check out this chick. She fended off a would-be robber with an ax! It's stuff like this that gives me the warm fuzzies about being female. I would hug her if I could... Once she put down the weapon.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(On phone)
Hoop: Hey, I think I found you a job on Craigslist!
Tink: Oh yeah?
Hoop: It says, "Office position. $15 an hour. I am looking for a position as Admin. Assist or Office Manager. I have over 25 yrs experience-"
Tink: -Uh, babe?
Hoop: Oh, wait. That's for someone looking for a job, huh?
Tink: Oh my God, we should hire him!
Hoop: Shut up.

P.S. Hoop has the flu. He wrote a post the other night while high off NyQuil. Good stuff. I'll have it up tomorrow for your viewing pleasure. Stay tuned!

Weekly Words Challenge 6!

The words for this week were Disguise and Reflection.

How did you interpret them?

Disguise


A car disguised as a lobster. "I pinch."


Unable to disguise our excitement over free tickets.

Reflection


How do you like my new bling?



The words for next week are:

Inspire
and
Create

What do you guys think about doing a series of colors? Like maybe throwing in the word "blue" or "white" next week with a non-color word?

If you haven't joined the fun, go here for details.

Quick Draw

I'm exhausted!

I'm just going to ramble until I can't anymore, OK?

Halloween Horror Nights was AWESOME! But it wasn't because of the park. Each year the event gets more crowded and less spectacular. When HHN first started out, the whole park was a scare zone. Now, the scare zone is limited to one small area. If you don't invest in a $65 express pass (while they last) then you're stuck in lines for up to two hours. Fortunately, Hoop and I are old pros at this. We strategically timed our route so that our line never exceeded an hour. Not that we mind each other's company. There's no one I would rather people-watch or pal around with than Hoop.

Unfortunately, the houses have started to slack over the years as well. I wouldn't warrant anything longer than a thirty minute wait for the length and quality of the haunted houses this year. Seven years ago, Universal took risks with their themes. There was a house that was completely pitch black. The floors would sink and sway beneath you. Just when your eyes would begin to adjust to the dark, they'd blind you with a flash of light. Then they'd lead you into a large room with body bags swinging from the ceiling and make you find your way out. This year there was nothing so creative.

There was a haunted house with vampires, another with dummies, one with psychiatric patients... *Yawn* At times the lines inside the house were so heavy that we'd stand around for a minute amid the fog and bloody scenery before shuffling on. It broke the mood. Especially when you could see and hear what was going to jump out at you ten people ahead. The shows were interesting. Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is always a favorite. This year featured Hollywood's three leading idiots: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. Britney Spears was bald, Lindsay Lohan carried around a huge jar of coke, and Paris Hilton... Well, she's already a caricature of herself.

One of the highlights of the night was when I witnessed a fight in the bathroom. Three teenage girls had snagged a bathroom out of line order, and a 30-something year old felt the need to scream her mind. "She's puking!" One of the 17 year olds yelled at the woman. "I don't fucking care!" She yelled back. Then the puker piped up from the stall. Slaps were exchanged and I quickly exited the scene. THAT'S why booze and theme parks don't mix my friends. Then, in one of the houses, I got punched in the mouth by a large black dude who was screaming and running away from a scrawny vampire. I was laughing so hard I couldn't be mad though. Even the vampire was cracking up.

By 2am, when the park closed, Hoop and I were drunk with exhaustion. We didn't even care that we had to wait an hour in the parking garage to leave. We played horn games with the cars around us and recapped the best moments of the night. All in all, I'm not sure I could say Halloween Horror Nights is worth the money. But Hoop and I are Halloween junkies who really love critiquing haunted houses together. So for us, it's probably something we'll continue doing. On a side note, we've decided what we're going to be for Halloween... CANNIBALS! We've already bought the bones to pile in our front yard. Man, I LOVE this time of year.

Don't forget the WWC is tomorrow!

More Creepier

I dedicate this video to Edge, whose birthday was at the beginning of this week. I call it....

"Striptease."



P.S. Dinner with my Mom went fine. I guess. That's all I'm going to say about that.

P.P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are DISGUISE and REFLECTION.

EDIT: I'm really bored. I've been waiting three hours for the carpet cleaners. So enjoy this second (and last) vlog for the day, "Tongue Tied."



Have a great weekend!

Is It My Birfday?

I stepped out of the shower this morning to a fresh cup of coffee.

Please, let me just bask in that feeling for a moment...

Then, as I was combing my hair, Hoop opened the bathroom door to ask, "Do you wear these panties to work?" "Not usually. Why?" "No reason." Then he was gone again. "Are they too risque?!" I yelled through the wall. He didn't reply, leaving me to wonder over the state of my underwear if Hoop felt the need to step in and intervene. When I came out, there was a complete wardrobe laid out for me. Socks. Pants. Shirt. Panties. Bra.

It looked like a person had melted and left behind their clothes.

"You're so sweet!" I said to Hoop, covering his shoulders in kisses. "What?" He asked innocently. As if to say, "I didn't do anything out of the ordinary." "Now go get dressed before you're late again!" I have a problem with mornings. I don't like them. Even when I'm getting ready for something fun, and not work, I'm going to be late. It's just how I am. And when someone gives me a hard time about it, like my boss, it puts me in a really foul mood.

As I strolled into the office, I noticed a strange lump on my desk. A strange lump that smelled like a ham and egg croissant with a side of iced cinnamon rolls! "I thought you might need a pick-me-up after the meeting last night," the receptionist said. I ran over to hug her and profess my love for all things ham and egg. "You are a saint!" The meeting last night went on until 7. Two hours of my boss droning on and on about shit NO ONE cares about. Especially me, the chick who had to look at said shit for two days while putting it into slide format.

The real kicker of the night wasn't my raging cigarette craving or the hour commute back home, but rather when my boss congratulated the graphics girl for a job well done. We're talking about a person who strolls into work at 10 wearing a skimpy beach dress and flip flops, only to stay two hours before proclaiming, "I'm tired!" and going home. Me, bitter? No way. OK, maybe a little. But I refuse to stoop to her level. Telling the boss "I love you" every day is fucking weird.

Back to today. I hope this good luck and charity thing continues. I could use the break. I'm meeting my Mom for dinner tonight in what could very well be the guilt trip session of the century. I have no idea what I did. But I'm assuming the worst since she picked a crowded location where I can't make a scene. She hasn't answered my calls for three days and well, it feels like that time of year again. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, you'll know my luck didn't continue. In which case Jay and Newt get joint custody of the blog...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I'm going to take a power nap so I can study later.
Tink: OK.
Hoop: Wake me up at 9:30.
(An hour later)
Tink: Bay-be.
Hoop: Wha?
Tink: You told me to wake you up at 9:30.
Hoop: *Mumbles* OK.
(30 minutes later as I'm changing for bed)
Tink: Bay-be.
Hoop: Wha?
Tink: It's 10 o'clock. I tried to wake you up at 9:30.
Hoop: And you did.
Tink: Then why are you still sleeping?
Hoop: Because every time I wake up you have less clothes on.

MOVIE REVIEWS

Eastern Promises-
This BBC film stars Viggo Mortensen (Hidalgo/The Lord Of The Rings), who plays a Russian gangster tied to one of London's most notorious crime families. The plot of the movie revolves around a midwife who stumbles across one of the family's dirtiest secrets when a mysterious girl delivers a baby and then dies. We didn't realize until the movie started that this isn't an American film. I'm so glad that it wasn't! America would have completely ruined this sensational story with special effects and romantic twists. There are a lot of realistic scenes involving murder and dead bodies, so it's not for the faint of heart. One of the most remarkable parts of the movie involved Viggo/Nikolai fighting completely nude. America rarely shows nudity, and when they do it's usually for erotic reasons. I can assure you, there was nothing sexual about this. Overall, Hoop and I thought this movie was extremely well done and realistic feeling. We gave it five out of five sporks.

The Secret Of Roan Inish-
Another non-American film. This one is an Irish Fairy Tale. In order to truly enjoy this movie you must suspend belief for awhile. The actors in this are AMAZING. Especially Jeni Courtney, the little girl who plays Fiona. The story takes place in Ireland (obviously), after a group of people have moved off a secluded island in pursuit of an easier life inland. During the move, a small baby is lost at sea. Fiona, the baby's sister, takes it upon herself to find him, four years later. Although not something I would buy, it was a perfect low-key movie for the night. Even Hoop enjoyed himself. We gave it three out of five sporks.

P.S. To answer everyone's question yesterday, I did not carve the pumpkins. But I wish I had. Because they're too cool to have been done by rednecks. Also, I didn't get another dog. Zoe is one of my Mom's pups, and Jazzi's daughter. She is cute though, huh?

Weekly Words Challenge 5!

The words for this week were Autumn and Home.

How did you interpret them?

AUTUMN


Voodoo Pumpkin


Hungry Pumpkin

HOME


...where the heart is.

(Random Week Pictures)

Zoe

Despite being crippled, she never acts as if she isn't like the other dogs.

Puppy Love


Thrilled

Can you tell they're brothers?

(Pictures of my awesome gift from Newt)









The words for next week are:

Disguise
and
Reflection

If you haven't joined the fun, go here for details. Come on. You know you want to!

A Case Of The Mondays

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: What would you like to title this presentation, sir?
Boss: Measurable Controllables.
Tink: Measurable-?
Boss: -Controllables.
Tink: Oh-kay.
Boss: What's wrong?
Tink: I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to say that without sounding like I have marbles in my mouth.
Boss: Practice!
Tink: I hope you don't mean literally.

Thank you all for your comments on Friday's vlog! I never knew I had an accent. But now that I know, I'm going to painfully self conscious of it. So, thank you. Do you feel guilty? Ha! I already knew I had an accent. It's my punishment for all those years I made fun of the locals. One day as a joke I started saying "heyad" instead of "head," and it stuck. I'm never going to be taken seriously up North. I'm going to yell at someone and they're going to giggle and say, "She's so cute." That or they're going to try and convince me to say things.

You laugh. But that shit happens. I took my friend Tina up to Ohio and she became a local celebrity. We went to a party and the whole evening revolved around making Tina say things. "Say Momma." "Mawma." "Awwww!" "Say car." "Car." "Aw-Oh... I guess you don't say that any differently than we do." "Naw." "Awwww!" That poor girl was all mixed up. We went to Denny's and she ordered a sweet tea, so they brought her a hot tea with honey. She explained that she wanted a COLD sweet tea and they put ice cubes in it. The look on her face... It was like someone killed something right in front of her.

Back to the subject though... I'll have to make another vlog soon to prove that Hoop is still alive and that no, I didn't kill him. To answer Orhan's questions: I was sitting in the backseat of my car because I was stranded right in front of my office building. The backseat was at least shaded and partially hidden from view. But just in case, I pretended to be talking on my cell phone so that no one would notice I was talking to myself. In reality I wasn't talking to myself, but rather the camera, which was another thing I didn't really feel like explaining to everyone.

(Hypothetical)
Coworker: Were you just making a video of yourself?
Tink: Um. Yeah.
Coworker: Why?
Tink: Because it makes me feel special.
Coworker: Oh.

Some of you are here to find out about the gift I got on Wednesday night. I'll fill you in, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait for pictures until tomorrow. Oh come on, it's not like suspense ever really killed someone. Newt sent me a very original first edition of Twisted Tink. It's gorgeous. I would have paid someone a couple hundred dollars for work like this. The pages are burned around the edges and matted in a book with personalized decorations and designs for the theme of each chapter. Just thinking about it gives me the warm fuzzies. Thank you again Newt! You're an amazingly sweet and talented friend.

Don't forget WWC tomorrow!

P.S. I haven't forgotten about your blogs! Work has been nuts. So I'll be checking on everyone once I get home tonight.

Prepare To Be Greatly Disappointed

I call this video, "Fucking Stranded."

And although it's ridiculously short and stupid, I dedicate it to Jay, whose video was neither.

You convinced me that making an ass out of myself could be fun...

This vlog (my first) is for you, man.



P.S. I am currently working on a new chapter for Twisted (Tink). Check it later today for updates. UPDATED: The new chapter is called, "A Familiar Tale." Many thanks to Newt for naming the last chapter, "Wolf In Pup's Clothing."

P.P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are AUTUMN and HOME.

I'll divulge on Monday what my awesome gift was and who it was from. I know, I'm such a tease.

Have a great weekend!

Good Things Come In Threes

Over The Weekend

Saturday morning, Hoop's Mom called to see if we'd like to go to a local home and garden show with her. My first reaction was, "A whole convention center filled with shit we can't afford? Woo-hoo!" Ok, so that was what I was thinking. What I said was more along the lines of, "Ugh. Coffeeeee." By two in the afternoon, with no follow up call from Hoop's Mom, we figured she had decided to go without us. We sat around and became one with the couch instead. Sunday morning, Hoop's Mom called again.

"Are you guys going to the Home and Garden Show today?" Hoop, figuring she was asking us to go with her, said yes. "Good! Because there's a steam cleaner I want you to pick up for me while you're there." So I bit my tongue and got ready to go. "This is ridiculous," Hoop said when we arrived. "We're paying money to go pick up a steam cleaner we don't even want." I shrugged. Mom's are good like that. When I lived at home, my Mom was able to convince me that picking up groceries for her on my way home from work was FUN.

As we were walking up to the building, two ladies walking to the side of us asked if we were going in. I could see that one had a pamphlet in her hand. I stared at it for a moment without answering, trying to see if the blob under her thumb was indeed a picture of Jesus. "Nnnn-yeah," I said reluctantly. The woman handed me the paper. It was a free ticket into the show. "My friend works for a TV station. They gave her more free passes than she really needs," she explained. "If you follow us, we'll get you another." I was so surprised, I kept thanking them over and over again.

Once in, Hoop and I were overwhelmed by the sheer size of the convention center. It was a honeycomb of rooms, all filled with loud booths of demonstrations and people trying to sell you things. It was like late night television. Only, you couldn't change the channel. "Nothing ever sticks to this knife," a woman at a sushi booth exclaimed. Then she brought the knife out of the roll she was preparing and it was covered in rice. "Um... That's what happens when you don't dip it in water first. Forgive me folks. I've been doing this all day."

"These little guys make the best pets." A gentleman in front of a Sugar Glider booth proclaimed to a growing crowd. "They even come when called!" Parents and children flocked to the booth for a chance to buy one or more of these $280 pets. What the advertiser failed to mention was, Sugar Gliders are nocturnal. Unless you and your family are vampires, expect to be kept from a good nights sleep by their constant chatter. Not only that, these cute little rodents require their own Sugar Glider friendly room! Hoop doesn't even have his own room.

After an hour of walking around, we were no closer to finding Hoop's Mom's steam cleaner. "I see a mop stand," Hoop told her on the phone. She responded by listing off all the ways the product she wanted was NOT like a mop. So we continued looking. Thirty minutes and three calls later, we still hadn't found the desired product. Finally, Hoop's Mom described what was around the item she wanted. "Mom," Hoop said. "The only thing in that area is the mop stand. The mop has a steamer on it. Is that it?" "That's it," she said. Hoop hung up the phone with a sigh. "We're here."

"If we're going to pay $140 of my Mom's money, I at least want a demonstration," Hoop told the guy at the booth. The guy cheerily went into his monologue, rubbing crayon on various forms of flooring while he spoke. The funniest part of the whole day happened when the salesman tried to steam a scuff mark off the vinyl floor and it wouldn't come off. "It just needs a moment," he said. Two minutes later he was sweating and motioning for his assistant to rub the mark off while he moved on to the next section. We still bought the stupid mop. I found out today that you can get them at Wal-Mart for $80.

Tuesday Night

A week ago I signed up for a contest to win free tickets to Universal Studio's Halloween Horror Nights. Hoop and I had gone for our anniversary last year and had a really great time. This year we'd decided it was too expensive for our budget. Saturday night, twenty minutes before the contest was set to end, Hoop signed up as well. For some odd reason, I was sure I was going to win. Sunday and Monday night passed and there was no email or phone call from the TV station. Then on Tuesday night, Hoop decided to check his email.

"Babe?" "Yeah?" "We won!" "Get out!" "We won second place! Two tickets to Halloween Horror Nights!" "Oh my God!" Then we jumped around screaming like a couple of idiots. I think contests should base who wins on how they're going to react. Imagine what we'd be like if we won something REALLY big, like a new car. Or a house that didn't already come with "renters". That's what I'm calling our termites now, renters. It makes me feel like I can kick them out at any time. So apparently lady luck is favoring us this month. Anyone want to rub my belly?

Last Night

I came home from work to find a package on my doorstep. After reading who it was from, I eagerly tore into it to see what it was. Then I fell on my butt in shock. What was in that box may very well be the best and most amazing gift anyone has ever given me. But I'm not ready to share it with you yet. Not to mention the fact that I haven't asked the giver if it's OK. But I just want to covet it for awhile. Have you ever been given a gift so cool you just want to keep it to yourself?

Weekly Words Challenge 4!

The words for this week were Posed and Natural.

Unfortunately, no one would POSE for me!

Not the dog...


Not Hoop...


Not this toad...


Even the weather was too busy acting NATURAL.


Finally, I found a willing subject.

I told it to look cute.

How did you interpret them?

The words for next week are:

Autumn
and
Home

I've had a rough week. I figured we all needed an easy set this time. Enjoy!

If you haven't joined the fun, go here for details.

Celebrating Two Years Of Livin' In Sin

Today is Hoop and my two year anniversary.

Throughout the day yesterday, Hoop kept turning to me and saying, "Two years, babe! Can you believe that?" I can't. No matter how many times he asked, I couldn't wrap my brain around that fact. My life was so very different two years ago. I was meeting him at Carrabba's. I didn't know any of you yet. I was eight pounds skinnier and didn't have as many laugh lines on my face. I was anxious. For months we'd been staring across rooms at each other. I knew he was the one. I was worried I would screw something up before he could realize it.

When he arrived, I went to hug him. He hesitated. He'd expected me to be more aloof. We talked all through dinner, neither eating very much. He was so nervous when the bill came that he couldn't figure out the tip. Then we went to the bookstore for coffee. We spent the next several hours on the curb, drinking, smoking, and sharing as much as we could. High off the momentum of the date, our stories got ballsy. He told me about farting in front of his ex's father. I told him about my Mom's plan to get me knocked up in Greece if I was still single by 25.

Reluctantly, we parted ways. "Let's leave while it's still a perfect date," Hoop said. I'll never forget that. He called me the next day. We saw each other every weekend for a month, and every day on the following. It was in December when I asked him to move in. We were eating shrimp in the cold. He'd already been sleeping over most nights, so I didn't think my question too bold. Hoop paused over his meal. "I'll think about it," he said. He thought about it for over a month before deciding to take the leap out of bachelorhood.

Five months after Hoop moved in, we decided to put the house on the market. Ok, ok, I decided to put the house on the market. Apparently, it's on that spot in the timeline that I lost my mind. Bless Hoop's heart, he didn't hesitate this time. From that moment on our lives were a whirlwind. I'd pulled the bottom out of the Jenga pile and we were doing everything possible to keep it from falling. On the days I felt like crying, he made me laugh. I'd scream and he'd scream back. He'd give up and I'd continue plowing through. Eventually, we found the other side.

To the man who who makes me snort, gives me goosebumps, and holds the other half of my world... I love you Hoop!

Tink's Livin' In Sin Anniversary Gift Guide:
(DEDICATED TO PAMER)

1st year: PAPER
Marriage Certificate (Would be nice)

2nd year: COTTON
Nightie (Isn't puppy love grand?)

3rd year: LEATHER
Whip (Keeping it fresh)

4th year: FRUIT
Apples (Props to Eve)

5th year: WOOD
His (If he's lucky)

6th year: IRON
Chasity Belt (He STILL hasn't proposed?!)

7th year: WOOL
Sweater (What you knit for him between barefoot pregnancies)

8th year: BRONZE
Gong (For those mornings he really pisses you off)

9th year: POTTERY
Mug (Probably made in therapy)

10th year: ALUMINUM
6 pack of Bud (For you, not him)

Anyone have any advice for Hoop and I for the future?

Bag Hand Man

And other fairly stupid conversations...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Emo people confuse me.
Hoop: Me too. I mean, why would you name yourself after a Muppet on Sesame Street?
Tink: What?
Hoop: You know, the one that dances and sings.
Tink: I don't- Oh! *Bursts into laughter*
Hoop: What?
Tink: Not ELMO, you nerd. EMO!

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Why do you have a plastic produce bag on your hand?
Hoop: It's keeping me warm.
Tink: Oh-kay.
Hoop: Just call me, "Bag Hand Man."

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: Got any big plans this weekend?
Coworker: I think my wife is dragging me out to a farmer's market or something on Saturday. Then on Sunday I'm going to landscape the front yard before it gets cold. We might go see a movie tonight. "The Kingdom" looks good. I don't know. We'll see. What about you? Got any plans this weekend?
Tink: I'm making cupcakes.
Coworker: Oh.
Tink: ...
Coworker: Is that all?
Tink: Is there a better way to spend the weekend?!

Spam Subjects:
(In the order I received them)
Did you get this yet? Get what?
Don't lose this. What is it?
We have what you need. Lots of money?
Here, this is for you. What is it?!
!..!!![]:! -.!! :(!!! ) : No need to get belligerent.
Custard Celestine Uh, thanks. Just what I've always wanted... Saint pudding.

Have a fantastic weekend!

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are Posed and Natural.

Sayonara September!

September Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Tuesday.
2. The most popular hour being 4pm.
3. The top referrers were Jay and Alien.
4. The most used search term was, "acceptable for females to fart and cuss?" Whether it's acceptable or not, you're going to do it.
5. My favorite search terms was, "wireless vibrating underwear." That's one way to put a little wiggle in your walk.
6. The highest hit post (273) was on September 18th, my first day as host of the WWC.

30 Quirks For 30 Days:
1. I got propositioned by a gay guy today.
2. We started talking while waiting in line for food. Twenty minutes later, the guy was telling me I was beautiful and handing me his business card.
3. I should probably stop you before you go thinking he's a talent scout or something. He was a brick layer.
4. I was so startled, I didn't answer when he said, "I don't know if you have a boyfriend or husband or anything..."
5. Hoop thinks the guy was trying to get in on my hot boyfriend. Cute girl equals cute boyfriend, right?
6. I'd like to believe it's because I'm just that good.
7. The feeling of Tylux, the super soft fabric TY Pluffies are made out of, has the weirdest effect on me. Touching it makes my teeth hurt! Same with hearing someone use sandpaper or the squeak of chalk on a board.
8. I have a rule about toads and frogs in my yard. I'll save the first three that hop in my path. After that, they'll have to fend for themselves with the dogs.
9. When I was in the first grade, my teacher threw a "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" themed party.
10. We came in from recess and found little chocolate bars on our desks. Mine was a miniature Mr. Goodbar.
10 1/2. But I didn't care for peanuts, so I swapped mine out for the blind girl's Hershey bar next to me.
11. Turned out my teacher had hidden a golden ticket in one of those candy bars. I'll give you two guesses which one it was in.
12. It wasn't the Mr. Goodbar.
13. As the winner, I got to sit at the teacher's desk all day and do artwork instead of book work.
14. I felt so bad for swindling that poor little blind girl, I didn't color a single page all day.
15. What, you thought I came clean? Pfft. I wasn't that sorry.
16. By the way, click on that link for cool trivia about the movie.
17. I'm obsessed with games that play on genetics, evolution, or artificial intelligence.
18. My first love was a game called "Creatures."
19. Then there was "The Sims," followed by "Black and White." My newest addiction is "Fish Tycoon."
20. I don't even care about fish!
21. But the game that I'm most anticipating doesn't come out until next year. It's called "Spore." Whenever I start talking about it, I turn into a 12 yr. old boy.
22. It's amazing how much of my life I've wasted (and WILL waste) on artificial life.
23. October is my favorite month.
24. Every year I go to great lengths trying to figure out a Halloween costume to wear, only to scrounge last minute through the Walmart reject bins.
25. For five years straight I was fairy, a good one for three and a bad one for two. I had a purple wand that granted nightmares.
26. Then fairies became popular and I wasn't into it anymore.
27. I think it would be much cooler if we were called Bloogers instead of Bloggers.
28. It just rolls off the tongue. Bloogers. Bloooogers. See?
29. We should divide from the rest of the blogosphere. Like, start a civil war or something.
30. It'll be like Emo and Goth. So close that no one can really see the difference, but people will believe us because we're SO insistent that there is one.
31. If I were God, I'd make it rain coffee every morning at 7.
32. I think the world would be a happier place then.

Weekly Words Challenge 3!

The words for this week were Common and Rare.

Although I had a ton of ideas for what I was going to shoot, the weekend got away from me and I only took ONE photo for this theme! I know, I'm lame. On the up side, it comes with a story.

How did you interpret them?

Rare


This is our mailbox. It was built to look exactly like our house. Which makes it pretty rare. Until we started remodeling, everything matched, from the paint to the shingles. Hoop hates it. He secretly hopes someone will take a ball bat to it in the night. Unfortunately, the mailbox seems to be built better than the house. Shoot, it'll probably be the last thing standing in the entire neighborhood. That is, unless Hoop takes a chainsaw to it first.

(Random Week Pictures)

Fall Flowers


Old Man Hoop


Monster Head


Redneck Fair

Do you see the tractor to the left?

The words for next week are:

Posed
and
Natural

If you haven't joined the fun, go here for the rules.

This Space For Rent

Weekend Recap:
1. Friday night we went and saw "The Kingdom."
2. REVIEW: This movie is probably the most intense I've ever seen. There were some parts that literally left me shaking. It's extremely graphic. But the plot is well formed and the subject matter is interesting because it hits close to home. Considering how touchy this topic is, they addressed it tastefully. They didn't make it into a shoot-em-up for the sake of having a shoot-em-up. It's not one I would buy though, or even watch again for that matter. But it was definitely worth seeing in the theater. Hoop and I gave this movie four out of five sporks.
3. Saturday afternoon, Hoop and I met up with my family at the local fair. We were particularly excited about this event because they'd advertised a BBQ contest. It was the anticipation of good food that convinced us $17 a head and $5 for parking was worth it.
4. Come to find out, the contest was closed to the public.
5. Then why the hell did they advertise it?!
6. We hadn't eaten all morning in order to make room for the bone sucking ribs that would never be. So we forked out an additional $15 to get lunch at the only crappy booth that offered it.
7. My chicken was so dry I ended up pitching it after a few bites. Hoop grumbled his way through a pork sandwich that looked more like pulled jerky.
8. We decided to make the best out of the situation and check out the rides.
9. The first ride we came across was "The Scrambler." It looked something like this:

10. Only, ours was run by a tractor.
11. The next ride was the "Tilt-A-Whirl." Big Bit and I were the only ones brave enough to get on it.
12. Despite the fact that we could only get the car to revolve a few times, it was fun. Then the ride slowed down and we noticed something unnerving.
Tink: What is that?
Big Bit: I don't know. *Toes it*
Tink: Oh my God! Is that supposed to come off?
13. It was the cap that covered the rod that held the damn car onto the floor!
14. I am NEVER going on another cheap fair ride again.
15. Although of all ways to die, flying off a fair ride would be one of the most memorable.
16. Second to being devoured by man-eating clowns.
17. After the ride we headed for the game booths. The one that held our interest the most gave bunnies and lizards aways as prizes.
18. For a moment I was sucked in by the cuteness. But then I remembered Bunnicula and the spell was broken.
19. Have any of you read that series? It totally freaked me out as a kid. For some reason I didn't catch on that the bunny sucked the life out of VEGETABLES.
20. Saturday night, Hoop and I stayed up until 4am playing our respective video games. His game of choice was "Resistance." Mine? "Fish Tycoon."
21. Can you tell who the freak is in our family?

Not Far From The Tree:
Papa Bear: Our bushes are starting to look good, huh?
Tink: Yeah.
Papa Bear: Except for these three. I think they're getting too much sun.
Tink: Yeah... Or it could be the fact that our dog pees on them every time we come over.

Tomorrow: The WWC!

Wednesday: Thursday Good-bye September post.