Happy Halloween!

Now enjoy this scary video...



Have fun, be safe, and be sure to stop by our Cannibal Kitchen.

The food is finger-lickin' good. Bone-appetit!

I Got Nuffin

So, enjoy some moronic conversations.

Overheard At The Nail Salon:
Redneck Girl: Who are you voting for?
Redneck Girl 2: McCain. That other guy is... *whispers* BLACK.
RG: He's not even black. He's Arab! Did you know his middle name is Hussein; as in Saddam Hussein?
RG 2: Also, I hear he's being funded by those people who destroyed our twin towers.
RG: It's a conspiracy. I'm not letting them get control of our government.
RG 2: That's right!
RG: I'm going to go vote for McCain tomorrow... as soon as I register.

Overheard At The Nail Salon 2:
Asian Nail Technician: You still dating dat guy?
Redneck Girl: Which one?
Asian Nail Technician: Wit da baby?
Redneck Girl: Shit-no. Turns out he got another girl pregnant. Then he made her get an abortion.
Asian Nail Technician: Oh.
Redneck Girl: Like I told him, I just can't be with someone who believes in abortion!

Weekly Words Challenge 58!

The words for this week were Then and Now.

I'm giving myself a week extension on this one on account of brain delay. Stay tuned next Tuesday for double entries. Weeee! But don't let that stop you from checking out all the awesome WWC participants who didn't slack this week. They'll be the ones pimping out their stuff in the comment section below. In other news, I'll be out on the week of November 10th-14th for my honeymoon. The wonderful and hilarious Jay will be hosting in my place. I've even given him free reign of the word selection. So if November 11th's words are Boobies and Cheerleaders, don't blame me.

The words for next week are:
Hands
and
Feet

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Shark Ipod Holder
Mystery Box of Gormet Lollipops
Brain Bowl (Perfect for Cannibal Kitchens!)

WTF Etsy?:
Accident (I almost liked it)
Trash Chime
Oops (There's so much about this that doesn't make sense.)

Then God said, "Let her be sick on top of everything else!"

And Tink replied, "Gee, thanks."

What started out as a sore throat last Monday, quickly evolved into a vicious head cold by Friday. For three days, one side of my face has been screwed up into what can only be described as a precursor to a sneeze. Only, sneezing doesn't make it go away. It just switches sides. When I'm not sneezing, I'm alternating between being stuffy and being runny. Sometimes, my nose manages to do both. I'm convinced the snot is eating my brain from the inside, which would explain the freak headaches. Sometimes, just for the hell of it, my body will get to coughing too. But only if I'm on the phone or in a place where noise is not appreciated, like at a CPR and First Aid Class put on by the WELLNESS committee at work.

Ever tried to not snot on a dummy you're "rescuing" while nine pairs of eyes watch you? Not fun. I held my breath for so long, I was afraid I might pass out and be the next one who needed rescuing. The worst part about that day was not the two hour drive, the four hour class, or the head cold. It wasn't even the fact that two people skipped out on us or that one of those people had the only key into the building. No... It was the fact that I was doing it all for FREE. My boss had told everyone that it was optional. But to me, he had implied that it was mandatory. Being the sucker good employee that I am, I had agreed willingly to this early Saturday morning torture. I even got up early to vote! Unfortunately, everyone else in my city had the same idea.

When I got to the polling place, three minutes before they opened, there was a line wrapped around the building. Isn't the point of early voting to avoid the crowds? Hoop and I ended up going that afternoon instead. By then the line was much shorter and the people working the booths were hopped up on blood thinners or something. During the ten minutes I stood in line, I heard the old lady at the front door say, "I don't care who people vote for, just that they vote!" fifteen times. By the tenth time, I was mumbling "Liar" after each cheery outburst. Sunday, Hoop and I cleaned house for six and a half hours. It might have been overdo, but it was still madness. See what having house guests does to an already frazzled bride with a head cold?

UGH. I just bit into an apple and got stuck! I was too weak to pull my teeth out. On my behalf, it was an organic apple. Who knew piping chemicals into our food changed the consistency as well as the flavor? These things taste amazing and are hard enough to cause a concussion if thrown. Not that I would know... I may never go back to eating regular produce again. So, to wrap up this medicine induced ramble, I didn't finish the haunted house this weekend. But, Hoop and I did clean out the garage and all the supplies are laid out and ready to go. Thanks again for all your awesome ideas and links. Pictures will be posted soon. I'm not sure I can say as much for tomorrow's WWC entry. We'll see. Pray for the snot monsters to go away.

So, what did YOU do this weekend?

Superbride

Today I...

...wrote six thank you letters.

...diffused a radioactive MIL-bomb.

...created a seating chart for 68 people, 24 of whom don't like at least one other person attending.

...sent my engagement and wedding rings in to be sautered together.

...spent 15 minutes googling the word "sauter" because it just didn't look right, only to find out from Bob in the comments that it's "solder". Duh.

...created a final "to do before I dos" list. Top four list items: groomsman gifts, disposable cameras, sparklers, magically get a tan in two weeks. Does anyone know what to get a 13 and 15 year old groomsman?

...sent Hoop off to pay our rental chair bill. OUCH.

...watched a few horrible videos of things I really hope don't happen on our big day.

...completed the above all before 1pm.

Countdown to wedding: TWO WEEKS!

In Other News: I met up with a girlfriend for lunch today. Our waiter was some squirrely bald dude who had the memory of a goldfish. He had us repeat our order twice and asked us if we wanted to-go drinks three times. Then he followed us to the pay counter and declared that he could cash us out at the table. I refused to go back, forcing him to ring us up at the counter while the cashier looked on helplessly. Then he gave me the wrong receipt and gave my friend back the wrong change. Just as we were preparing to flee, the guy turns to me and stutters, "Are you single?" I don't wear my ring for ONE day and look what happens! The funniest part was, I think his coworkers were more horrified than I was. They all stopped what they were doing to hear my answer. It was no, of course.

Cannibal Kitchen: As some of you may know, Hoop and I are attempting to turn our garage into a Cannibal Kitchen this weekend in preparation for Halloween. I don't know why we promised my brothers we would do this. It's not like we don't have other things going on, like *cough* a WEDDING. But, being the sucker I am for all things Halloween, not to mention the adoration of my little brothers, I am determined to do this. So... I need your help coming up with "menu" ideas. No worries, no one is actually going to be eating this stuff. Here's what we have so far:

EYE candy
BRAIN food
TOE jam
Lady FINGERS
FINGER food

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!

Attack Of The Memes

The last time I participated in a meme (not of my own creation) was back in January. The reason is simple. I don't like them. So, if you have tagged me in the last nine months and I have failed to acknowledged it, please know that it's not because I don't love you. It's because I, much like a child below the age of five, like to believe that if you can't see something, it can't see you either. Like maybe if I ignore the fact that you tagged me, you might forget that you did it. What, that doesn't work? I'm going to ignore that you said that. But sometimes, if you're lucky and I'm bored, I'll do your meme anyway.

Like today...

Tagged by Krissa:

1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and link to their blog. Feel free to steal this if you want to.
4. Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. Consider yourself notified.

1. I hate imitation banana flavoring.
2. Sometimes I talk in a British accent for no reason.
3. I STILL hide things that I did as a teen from my Mom.
4. I have no problem handling frogs, lizards and snakes that I know aren't poisonous.
5. On average, I take about three photos a day.
6. Hoop has better fashion sense than I do.
7. I love conventions for the free food.

Tagged by Tawcan:

5 things I was doing 10 years ago-
Smoking pot
Sneaking out
Sleeping in class
Thinking I knew everything
Typical 15 year old crap that drives parents crazy

5 things on my to do list today-
Work (Bleh)
Get Marriage License DONE!
Do laundry
Watch "Pushing Daisies"
Walk at least 7,000 steps

5 snacks I love-
Pocky
Extra Cheddar Goldfish Crackers
Cut-up Mango
Candied Pecans
Fried Onions

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire-
Quit working for awhile and travel
Go to college
Pay for my brothers to go to college
Invest
Donate the rest

5 places I’ve lived-
Sylvania, Ohio
Toledo, Ohio
Phoenix, Arizona
South Bend, Indiana
A Small Drinking Village, Florida

5 jobs I’ve had-
Novelty Knife Salesman at a Flea Market
Peon at the Body Shop Clothing Store
Condo Cleaner
Transportation Clerk at a Food Warehouse
Do-All Girl at a Beer Distributor

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Crap. The only thing on is "Cops".
Tink: Hey, I think this was filmed in Jacksonville. I recognize the uniforms.
Hoop: You recognize the UNICORNS?!
Tink: Yeah, because that makes so much sense.
Hoop: I thought you were calling the cops unicorns or something.
Tink: "Freeze! This is the unicorns! Come out with your hands in the-"
Hoop: -Oh shut up.
Tink: Man, I hope I never get pulled over by a unicorn.

Weekly Words Challenge 57!

The words for this week were Plain and Adorned.

How did you interpret them?

Hoop, Plain and Simple


Adorned in Plain Paper

And plain faced no less!

Adorned


(Random)

Possible Cake Wreck

Are those ghosts with wings?

The words for next week are:
Then
and
Now

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Fortune Teller Necklace
Black Bat Mary Janes (Check out her other awesome designs!)
Large Sea Glass Mermaid

WTF Etsy?:
Tampon Purse
Rainbow Couch Pellets
Eye Earrings (Look at the price!)

Cut Loose Like A Deuce

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: (Singing) Blinded by the light! Cut loose like a douche-
Tink: That is NOT how it goes.
Hoop: Yes it is.
Tink: No, it isn't.
Hoop: (Singing) Cut loose like a douche in the middle of the night!
Tink: Oh my God.
Hoop: It totally makes sense!

Weekend Recap:
1. As usual, Halloween Horror Nights was awesome.
2. But even there, signs of the recession could be seen. Although the lines for some of the haunted houses were still up to an hour wait, the streets were often empty. In past years, Hoop and I would have to elbow viciously through dense crowds just to make our way through the park. This year, there were less drinkers/partiers and more kids/families.
3. I'm not complaining.
4. It's just a little odd that I actually found a perk to this mess.
5. The theme this year was twisted fairy tales. There was a burned Jack-Be-Nimble, a demented Alice from Wonderland, Bo Peep and her found (dead) sheep, and the Pied Piper with a rat in his pie-hole... just to name a few.
6. Not to mention whichever character it was who did a scare-by on me. I had just looked away to check out Jack; when I turned back, I landed nose to nose with someone. That someone promptly screamed in my face and then fled.
7. The only thing I can remember, before closing my eyes and dropping to the ground in a crouch, was hot breath on my face. Oh, and Hoop laughing like a madman.
8. Each year, HHN hosts a new "Bill and Ted Adventure Show". It usually revolves around popular music and characters from throughout the year. Last year's guest list included a bald Britney Spears and an incoherent Lindsay Lohan. This year's theme was more political.
9. Well, if you can consider seeing McCain (or an actor that looks nothing like him) shaking his ass political.
9. On a side note, if the crowd's response was any indication, McCain isn't doing so hot. Let us all pause for my happy dance.

So, how was your weekend?

Static

Does anyone remember the The P.I.T.S. List? I was short of inspiration this morning and decided to dig it out of the archives, the January 2007 archives to be exact.

What fashion crimes did you commit in High School?

High School wasn't that long ago for me. So let's go back to Elementary and Middle School instead. Back in Elementary school I wore a lot of turtlenecks. The ones that stick out in my memory the most had little flower patterns on them. Sometimes I'd finish off the look with a "nice" matching vest. I'm not even shitting you. I think my Mom might have hated me. Or maybe it was just an 80's thing, along with LensCrafter's inability to make glasses less than an inch thick.

How did my nose even hold those things up?!

In Middle School I fell into the 90's crap-bands trap. I wore overalls, or "bibs", sometimes backwards or with only one strap connected. Who started that? Was it Criss-cross? At one time I even attempted the single black line under my left eye. Thanks TLC. Thank God I didn't attempt to recreate their condom jackets. My Mom would have killed me, walking around like a damn rubber dispenser. Belly shirts were in, as were acid-washed jeans and Koolaid stripes in the hair. No one told you the Koolaid didn't come out until it was too late though.

So, what fashion sins did you commit?

August - October Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Gown for big Mom I think they call that a MuuMuu.
2. How do you spell scratch? Um... Scratch.
3. Carmeltoe Sex Mmm, carmeltoe. But, nothing beats a good carmelbicep.
4. Mom peed on me!
5. Zombies dreams mean Zombies don't sleep, silly!
6. free pictures of male hairy assholes They better be free.
7. klingon lesbian
8. Jalapenos Punishment Penis What? Oh... OH! Nasty.
9. t is a social pariah Poor t. He never could measure up to T.
10. What are the large berries on my potatoes? They're eyes. Ooooo.

P.S. I won't be on tomorrow. I'm taking a play day (Yay!). Have a safe and fun weekend. Hoop and I will be spending ours at Halloween Horror Nights getting the crap scared out of us.

Weekly Words Challenge 56!

The words for this week were Me and Them.

How did you interpret them?

Me


Them


(Grandpa's 85th Birthday)

The Birthday "Boy"


(The Zoo)

Koi


Golden-Eyed


Hoop and a Technicolor Bird


Zebra


No Fear


For Newt


Baby Giraffe


(Random)

Strange Guest


The words for next week are:
Plain (Not to be confused with Palin)
and
Adorned

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Vintage Folding Camera
Custom Leaf Silhouette Portrait
Hands Full Of Pearls
Six Foot Tall Plastic Spork (Omg!)

WTF Etsy?:
Stool Chart Business Card Case
"Ugly Baby" ACEO Print
Pocket Bacon

The Mouth!

(CNN.com Front Page: 10/13/08 08:30am)

Weekend Recap:
1. My Grandfather turned 85 this Saturday! We celebrated by eating our weight in food.
2. On the menu: venison sausage, wild boar sausage, fried mullet (the fish, not the hair), fried catfish, cornbread hush puppies, BBQ chicken, green bean casserole, potato salad, baked beans, and cake.
3. I'm STILL full.
4. After dinner, Grandpa sat down with us to fine tune the wedding ceremony. He's the one who will be marrying us. He's a retired minister.
5. He also married my Mom... twice.
6. Hopefully that's not an unlucky sign.
7. Maybe it just didn't take the first time.
8. Sunday, Hoop and I went to the zoo. That was also supposed to be a family thing, but my family pussied out on account of the weather.
9. The weatherman said there would be a 70% chance of rain.
10. What we got was NO rain and a hella lot o' heat.
11. It was so hot, the monkeys barely had enough energy to eat their own poop.
12. Barely.
13. We weren't spared the horror of watching a monkey eat from his own butt like it was a Tootsie Roll factory.
14. Hey, speaking of really crappy experiences...
15. ...Until 30 minutes ago, I hadn't been able to get a hold of our DJ for five days.
16. ...Our cake people just tried to double charge me.
17. ...And our florist tried to charge me $1,000 extra for no reason.
18. I am SO ready for this wedding crap to be over!
19. Dear Jebus and the Flying Spaghetti Monster; if you get me through this without losing my mind, I swear I will try and be the happiest married person ever. Amen.
20. In other wedding news, Hoop's Mom gave us our wedding present yesterday. It was a set of Depression glass from the 1920's. It was very sweet of her. But, I have no idea what I'm going to DO with it. It's green. Jello green.

So, how was your weekend?

The Forehead!

For anyone who thought I was bullshitting yesterday...


(CNN.com Front Page: 10/10/08 08:52am)

5 Signs That We're In A Recession

(And it's all true!)

5. A new Salvation Army thrift store opened up down the street from our house last week. There were so many cars there, I thought the circus was in town.

4. Each morning, CNN.com's front page features a different guy on Wall Street holding his head in horror. I've started taking bets on where the next guy's hand placement will be. "Will it be on his forehead or his mouth? Oh! It was his cheek! Better luck next time." Can you imagine if that was your claim to fame? "Yeah, I was Tuesday's guy. My hand? It was on my chin. Why?"

3. Our neighbors have been holding a garage sale for over a month now. At what point does it qualify as a garage store? If you're asleep for a week, they don't call it a really long slumber. No, they call it a COMA.

2. One of our wedding guests ordered an extra meal so he'd have something to eat later.

1. The value of houses in Florida has dropped so much, Hoop and I may OWE the bank by the time we sell. On the other hand, the value of *porn has gone way up. So, we might be saved.

*Have I mentioned that Hoop collects Playboy cards? Apparently, when people believe the world is ending, they hoard the things they're going to miss the most. For some people it's cheese in a can. For others, it's girls with hand-bras.

Lumpy Heart

Today is Hoop's and my three year anniversary...

...it was also supposed to be Chris' 25th birthday.

I know it's selfish, but I really wish they didn't fall on the same day.

We used to joke about it, how Hoop was such a "sweet" guy, taking me out as a gift to his brother. Bless Chris' heart, it never seemed to bother him. I sang Happy Birthday to him in the car this morning. I imagined a bunch of angels clutching their ears in pain while I did it. Too bad there aren't any strippers in Heaven. God has probably reformed them all by now, huh? Maybe some cute angel will jump out of his cake instead. Or maybe they're all sick of cake by now, seeing as everything is made from the stuff. Well, it is in MY Heaven. Maybe Chris would rather have an angel jump out of broccoli. That might be kind of difficult though.

I miss Chris. I miss what he was to Hoop too, his best friend. Whenever we got in a fight, it was a comfort to know that Hoop had someone to vent to and that Chris would never say anything negative about me. He was that kind of person. You couldn't know the guy without loving him. There was always a part of me that was a little jealous of Chris too. It was tough living in that kind of shadow. It still is... Hoop went in to work at noon today and he won't be getting home until eight. It's just as well. He didn't feel like celebrating anyway. But I kind of do. Three years is a big deal to me. So I've decided to treat myself to something nice tonight.

Perhaps flowers, or a movie, or a batch of fat-filled cupcakes?

If you had $20 and two hours of alone time, what would you treat yourself to?

Weekly Words Challenge 55!

The words for this week were Distorted and Clear.

I had to dig into my archives this week. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find a muse for these words. Oh well. Sometimes, that's just how it goes. Hopefully you didn't have the same trouble. How did you interpret them?

Distorted

(Originally taken on 12/04/2006 at my parents' house.)

Clear

(Originally taken on 08/07/2007 at Ginnie Springs.)

The words for next week are:
Me
and
Them

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
144 Word Beads (For the inner poet.)
Pay-It-Forward Starfish Earrings (The good juju spreads!)
"Exhale" Print
Spool Doll

WTF Etsy?:
Teal Teeth Pendant (and Brooch!)
Little Puppet Red Nose
Weird Ceramic Merbaby
Turkey Salt and Pepper Shakers ("Wow your friends" is right.)

Drum Roll, Please

Sylar's A Grouch

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: So what did you do for lunch?
Tink: A coworker and I walked to Gander Mountain.
Hoop: Gander Mountain!
Tink: Yeah, you know, that sports store?
Hoop: Did you drop the ring in the lava?
Tink: What? Oh... That would be GANDALF Mountain, you dope.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: I hate to say this, but I'm really looking forward to going home and watching more Heroes tonight.
Tink: Me too!
Hoop: And here I was convinced I was going to hate that show.
Tink: It's those fucking eyebrows. Stupid Sylar.
Hoop: You have to admit, they're kind of mesmerizing.
Tink: They're not human! They belong on a Muppet.

Yay, Goodies! I will be vlogging the drawing for the secret Pay-It-Forward prize tomorrow at sometime. It's not like the Annual PB Contest, you don't have to be there when I announce it. So, no pressure. BUT, there is a chance to get a second ticket thrown into the pot with your name on it. As of right now, anyone who commented on Friday or Monday's post will be entered into the drawing once. The first person to guess what the prize is correctly will get their name thrown into the pot twice. So get guessing!